Good post, Judd, agree with all your points. A lot of basic flying control needs to be learned by doing. Having people constantly talking at you is a distraction - let the student just fly and get the hang of it. Nobody would expect an orchestra flute player to go through a piece of music twice with an instructor prompting them, and then be able to play it well in front of an audience. They would need practice. The SIM is a safe place to practice the basic technique and coordination, followed by some crosswind landings in the real plane.
I spent about 3 years flying turboprops (including at EGBB), and really got my crosswind landing technique sorted, which helped when I transferred onto big jets.
Transport policy in the UK is woeful. First we had Beeching rip up most of the train branch lines. Now we still have airports with no train links - at Edinburgh for example there is a double train line running past about a mile from the end of RWY24, but no rail link to the actual airport ! Forget HS2, let's get the basics sorted first.
The hump at EGBB RWY15 is, or used to be, right at the point where you wanted to put the mains down, especially on a turbulent day. So you had to land spot on, or late, or ride the hump as you were flaring. Not a massive problem, but a significant one and something you could do without on some tricky days !
The HR method of recruitment by testing your mental maths and verbal reasoning etc - that we all have to endure these days to get a flying job - is not much use if someone doesn't actually know how to fly in the first place !