It’s been 25 years now, anyone going to own up as the “Phantom Cr@pper”, the one that adorned Mr Blobby’s staff car with a new bonnet mascot.
I recall overhearing Mr B's rant to OC Police, demanding DNA testing of all personnel on "the other Sqn".
OC Police replies : "What makes you think it was the other Sqn?????"
Oh how I larfed (silently of course).
(Forensic question: Does poo have DNA? Technically it's never been inside the body, only in the alimentary canal, which is - ahem - open at both ends.)
[Edited to add:] I suppose if the Chalfonts were bleeding there would be some blood; ergo DNA.......