Ok thanks for all your input.
I know it hard work to get the license, but what I heard is, that it's not too difficult but just a lot. I think it's hard but when you enjoy learning what you read, it's shouldn't be that much of a problem. For what will I have an instructor, you can always ask, if something is not clear.
I think I'll go the following way. First apply for companies in Europe that pay for the training and as ATC. If I get rejected for both I do an apprenticeship as an aircraft mechanic or similar and save money for PPL and do the rest modular. It make no sense, to waste time with studying stuff you don't enjoy.
I think I don't have depression in that classical sense. I am suicidal or something like that. Just frustrated to not life as I want to. I think it's normal that you get frustrated if you restrict yourself to do things what you actually love for reasons like environment that you cannot really influence or change.
Medical is of course an important point, shoudn't be a problem I guess. I don't use glasses and go regularly to the gym.