Update as there seems to be some interest in my struggles!
Amazingly, the first flight after 2 months away went like a dream! I have suspected this before, but now I am convinced, I benefit from a break in sessions. With time, things seem to settle in my brain and the actions seem to come more naturally.
My landings are still not great, but so far we have managed to re-use the aircraft! Have tried all combinations of flaps from non to 40deg. I loved the 40 flaps landing, I am not sure why they insist that flaps 20 is the 'normal' and 40 is for short-field landings. It took more faffing about with the throttle to keep it flying on the approach, but it settled beautifully when I chopped the throttle. Not tried a late go-around with 40 degs of flap, I imagine that will be interesting.
I will be in Australia for a week or so later in January, looking for a chance to try gliding, as several people have suggested, I think that might be fun and helpful.