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Old 27th Oct 2018, 16:08
  #16322 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Germany
Age: 72
Posts: 1,561
You wish!

"Chuks, I suspect that we do indeed have something in common, our interest in female anatomy.

However, mine is licensed. Yours is just from looking at porn."

Not quite, Fallout Boy. I was in attendance for the birth of Child Two, all of that, which included a rather close look at the female anatomy, all of that. God, but I needed that!

The best part was in the middle, as Child Two was being a bit awkward about his encounter with the outside world. Madame took a break from her labor on a big, green ball, when mine was a support role, leaning over so that she could link her hands behind my neck.

As I gazed into her eyes I remembered where I had last seen that very expression, but that was on a raccoon trapped in a dumpster in Chevy Chase. Yes, keeping the romance alive in a marriage by attending a birth, just the way to do that ....

Then she spoke, saying to me, "Don't go anywhere." What, out the door of the hospital and off down the street I was to go, dragging a half-naked woman perched on a big green ball, at three in the morning?

Nah, Ob-Gyn is best left to the professionals, I think. You can have it, OB.

Back to Topic One, OB: Given that your Orange Idol is on record as never even having changed a diaper, how close do you suppose he ever got to one of his wives doing that sort of messy thing? "I'll be at the casino/office/golf course. Keith can run you to the hospital. Call me later to say whether it's a girl or a boy, okay? Love you, Thing One/Two/Three [depending], and Byeee."

I guessed right about who was sending the bombs, and now I shall guess again, that Trump is exactly the sort of fellow who would pass out cold confronted with the sight of a human female giving birth. He likes grabbin' and jabbin' that thang, but when it comes down to serious business he doesn't want to know.

chuks is offline