OK everyone - let's take a collective break. Have a cup of tea or beer/wine.
I appreciate the extra detail given to us by those from the Front Office whether with humour or not! I am currently travelling myself in a Mediterranean country that does not understand the word 'promptly' ...
The other key factor in all of this is that we want to pay as little money as possible and that affects 100% of the components listed above. I sympathise with those who want no information and those that want it all.
Play nicely in the cabin whilst I'm gone (but I am checking the CCTV) Now back to my holiday ...