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Old 24th Aug 2018, 10:55
  #8 (permalink)  
Join Date: May 1999
Location: Quite near 'An aerodrome somewhere in England'
Posts: 25,656
OO one boring night at pre-pongo Wattisham...

Ring..ring "Evening sir, Orderly Sergeant speaking. An airman has been caught red-handed in the act of thieving, the RAFP have nicked him. Need you to come in and sort a few things".

Oh f*****g great, think I - and off I toddle to the guardroom.

"Evening Sergeant, how can I help?"
"The investigator is on his way and will explain all. Cup of tea, sir?"

Splendid chap. After a little while a character appears who is about as wide as he is tall, wearing a leather bomber jacket and looking like a tougher version of the late Lewis Collins ('Doyle' of The Professionals). He introduces himself as Cpl NNNN of the SIB... He produces notepad and pen and lays them out in a methodical manner.

"How can I help?", I ask.
"Well, I think you can probably leave it to me, sir. Unless we need to tumble Chummy's drum"
"You what? Are you allowed to do that?"
"I mean to search his accommodation, sir. It's an expression we use."
"Oh...right. I thought you meant to...give him a bit of a smack round the ears to get him to cough!"
"No sir, that's not allowed. Not indeed! Mind you, it'd probably save everyone's time if it was", he smiled.

Guilty airman was marched to the cells a little later and subsequently had short trip to a special holiday camp in Essex.

OO wasn't usually quite so entertaining. 'Domestics' were the worst...

Last edited by BEagle; 24th Aug 2018 at 11:24.
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