Not band Bandy but I would change it somewhat ...
Dear Captain Egohead,
Please accept my humble application for a job with your company. I will be happy flying your aged fleet even though everything you operate is older than me. I also promise never to endorse the maintenance release no matter what the problem and will fill in your duty sheets with as much aplomb as is necessary so they reflect the FMS it took you 18 months and 5 trips to CASA seminars to write. I will do this even though I know you roster your pilots for 60 hour weeks. I have an new App that will help called Time Compressor.
I am good at cleaning things and will wash your aeroplanes, heck I will even polish them even though I know I will have to be careful not to polish through the 30 year old paint. That said, there is one I see on the tarmac that could end up with a polished aluminium finish without too much yakka.
I also reckon I can fly your machines without damaging too them because my flying instructor, one Aussie Bob told me that all the aircraft he has seen wrecked over the years were damaged by pilots with far more than 1000 hours TT. I haven't yet reached that milestone, heck I am only at 250 so I reckon I am good to go.
I further add that I can survive on your "award wages" by living in a caravan down at the local community and eating baked beans and fried rice. I will leave my durries at home to. It saves money that way because when I go without it doesn't cost me and there is always another pilot kicking around about the back I can bludge one off anyway when I get depressed at repeated hand propping your 206. What year is that thing anyway? How much is a new battery?
Yours kindly
Blogsie.
Last edited by Aussie Bob; 24th Jun 2018 at 21:45.