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Search: Posts Made By: Martin the Martian
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28th May 2019, 13:13
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

Just as you go to take a photo of the aircraft...

Just as you go to take a photo of the aircraft some idiot jumps in front and ruins it.
17th Aug 2018, 22:11
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

Early trials of the sat nav were described as...

Early trials of the sat nav were described as disappointing until it was noticed that there was an actual navigator involved, at which point the margin for error was quickly widened.
16th Mar 2016, 23:07
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

We could not bother with the 'chute and see this...

We could not bother with the 'chute and see this Vulcan 'boldly go' into the overrun area.
16th Mar 2016, 11:32
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

"I can't wait to see their faces [giggle] when...

"I can't wait to see their faces [giggle] when they pull the brake chute lever and it deploys the streamer with My other car is a Victor on it!"
12th Mar 2016, 11:45
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

As he jumped, Bloggs suddenly realised that this...

As he jumped, Bloggs suddenly realised that this probably wasn't going to be the best way to arrive for his job interview as an inspector for the RSPCA.
11th Mar 2016, 14:58
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

Wouldn't it have been easier to let the sniffer...

Wouldn't it have been easier to let the sniffer dog do an external search BEFORE we took off?
8th Aug 2015, 08:59
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

Kermit did not take well to the split between him...

Kermit did not take well to the split between him and Miss Piggy.
28th Jul 2015, 21:29
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

Vlad may be boasting about his glory hole...

Vlad may be boasting about his glory hole requirements, but he might have a shock if he doesn't take care when choosing which one to use.
14th Jul 2015, 12:09
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

"Nazi sergeant give me nice flowers, but officer...

"Nazi sergeant give me nice flowers, but officer didn't want to swap horse for pig. Wouldn't fit in aeroplane."
11th Jul 2015, 10:00
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

"Those are very fine gloves, mein Kapitan." ...

"Those are very fine gloves, mein Kapitan."

"Danke, danke. Made with the very best pig- um..."
7th Jul 2015, 11:41
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

After being put out to pasture by Santa's new...

After being put out to pasture by Santa's new technology, Rudolf watched as they flew overhead, and swore that one day revenge would be his.
2nd Jul 2015, 14:25
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

So the Hastings may fly like a cow, but that...

So the Hastings may fly like a cow, but that doesn't mean it will chew the cud like one.
24th Jun 2015, 12:04
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

There, there, Bloggs, it wasn't as bad as that....

There, there, Bloggs, it wasn't as bad as that. Admittedly you frightened the life out of the Staish when we shot past his window inverted and you really didn't need to break the main wheels off on...
21st Jun 2015, 16:56
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

Oh, for heaven's sake, you'll have to wait until...

Oh, for heaven's sake, you'll have to wait until we get to a garage. Why didn't you go before we left?

-

They really have cut down on the CGI in the new Star Wars film!

-

I thought God...
28th May 2015, 10:41
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

The general's almost here, chaps. Get on the...

The general's almost here, chaps. Get on the radios and look busy.

-

Epic photobomb, innit?

-

Well, we can make an effort to camouflage ourselves. Can't he find any blue paint?
20th May 2015, 12:04
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

Always the way. Dig a hole in the ground and...

Always the way. Dig a hole in the ground and sooner or later some dope will come and take a look in it.
24th Jan 2015, 10:00
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

Trust the Navy... find water anywhere. - ...

Trust the Navy... find water anywhere.

-

Bloggs' scheme to claim submariners' and flying pay at the same time fell at the first hurdle.

-

You're going to need a bigger boat.
27th Dec 2014, 12:35
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

If you think these bugles are impressive,...

If you think these bugles are impressive, General, just wait until you see the tubas.

-

We may not have seventy-six trombones leading the big parade, but by golly we'll be heard.
13th Dec 2014, 13:31
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

"To infinity... and beyond!" "What,...

"To infinity... and beyond!"

"What, Bradford?"
10th Dec 2014, 12:00
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

F/L Bloggs hoped that the news of a submarine...

F/L Bloggs hoped that the news of a submarine being spotted near Faslane meant that he would soon have a new posting back to flying duties.

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Hoskins finds out what happens when you're really...
20th Nov 2014, 11:24
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

Lack of transport capability? Not any more. ...

Lack of transport capability? Not any more.

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And next we'll be attempting the record for how many officers can we get in a Mini. We're just waiting for the reply from the promotions board.
17th Oct 2014, 09:03
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

Didn't I tell you that if we put the tank upside...

Didn't I tell you that if we put the tank upside down, squat down in front of it like it's the most natural thing in the world and take a photo we'd end up in the PPRuNe caption competition? Now give...
24th Sep 2014, 13:30
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

In an effort not to be found out, the secret...

In an effort not to be found out, the secret 'disband the RAF' committee were forced to hold their meetings in a field.
24th Sep 2014, 10:07
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

Right then, after consulting with Mrs. Martian,...

Right then, after consulting with Mrs. Martian, or SWMBO if you prefer, the results are:

Commendations to Wander00: .....and this is the Painted Hall, 100+ pairs of naked breasts and any number of...
23rd Sep 2014, 21:49
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

Okay chaps, I'll call it tomorrow at 10am, and...

Okay chaps, I'll call it tomorrow at 10am, and open the golden envelopes.

Some good stuff coming in.
21st Sep 2014, 20:54
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

Okay chaps, here we go. Usual rules apply. ...

Okay chaps, here we go. Usual rules apply.

http://i572.photobucket.com/albums/ss166/merlin824/_49163766_010223766-1_zpsd2caaba1.jpg...
21st Sep 2014, 12:11
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

Thank you, thank you. I shall post up a...

Thank you, thank you.

I shall post up a suitable image for your perusal when I get home this evening. Stay tuned to this channel!
18th Sep 2014, 10:13
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

The man with the blue dye suddenly regretted...

The man with the blue dye suddenly regretted asking if anyone else wanted their cheeks painted.
14th Sep 2014, 10:40
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

What do you mean, you have evidence to suggest...

What do you mean, you have evidence to suggest we've been smuggling illegal highs on our trooping flights?

-

It's fair to assume that Tojo the transport plane was an addition to the Thomas the...
10th Sep 2014, 11:41
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

To retain aircrew Aeroflot have agreed to allow...

To retain aircrew Aeroflot have agreed to allow pilots to work from home.
9th Sep 2014, 09:33
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

So that guy upstairs has built himself a 747...

So that guy upstairs has built himself a 747 simulator in his spare room. Ha! Just wait 'til he sees this.
1st Sep 2014, 20:37
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

The Station Commander couldn't get rid of the...

The Station Commander couldn't get rid of the niggling feeling that his new equal opportunities policy wasn't quite working.
23rd Jul 2014, 09:52
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

The Browns got so fed up with Paddington's...

The Browns got so fed up with Paddington's clumsiness that they eventually sold him to the army for a surplus Land Rover and a lifetime subscription to Soldier magazine.

-----

Once Paddington...
22nd Jul 2014, 12:04
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

'Listen, when I see you lick your balls, human,...

'Listen, when I see you lick your balls, human, that's when you can give me advice on how to fly!"
4th Feb 2014, 09:30
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,083
Posted By Martin the Martian

I appreciate the cushion, sir, but I really don't...

I appreciate the cushion, sir, but I really don't see why your bodyguard should sit in the cab's other seat and I have to perch out on the wing.
Showing results 1 to 35 of 41
 


 
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