obnoxio f*ckwit

Or if flying an old 330 (without anticipator):

Left hand down, cows get bigger. Left hand up, cows get smaller. Unless you're a bit too quick with the left hand, then the cows rapidly get bigger again...

Whirlybird

Thanks everyone. First draft written, which means I won't add any more unless it's earth-shatteringly useful; I'll just tweak commas etc and agonise over whether it's any good.

This particular editor seems to keep asking me to write on topics I know little about. He seems to imagine all helicopter pilots know everything there is to know about the industry, and I'm just a little (ex) R22/R44 instructor (FI rating presently lapsed, but might get it back). However, "no" is not a word in my vocabulary when offered a job which pays, so please bear with me if I ask for your advice and expertise again in the future...but not every week, I promise!

rotorfossil

What is surprising in converting from one type to another is the necessity of going back to first principles. Attitude/Power/Trim/Scan. The view out the front is different, ie the horizon is in a different place. The control response is different (or the wrong way if converting to clockwise rotation). Unlearning is as difficult as learning. Instrument panels have the guages in different places, sometimes even on the same type, so scanning for the info takes longer. Glass presentations are grand if only there was commonality in presentation. Time spent sitting in the cockpit (in absence of simulators), practicing all the drills, preferably with a really knowledge person is never wasted, otherwise when you are in the air you will be neglecting what's going on outside while you are searching for the right guage or switch.
A certain North Sea company (going back a bit) picked up a type from another company in a takeover in which all the non flight instruments and switchery were in totally different positions. It was a reminder of how much this slowed down ones cockpit scan (ask me how I know).