Heli, non-heli (and even non-aviation) humour ...
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: gods own country
Age: 75
Posts: 46
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
helicopter funny stories
People keep telling me what a complicated piece of machinery a helicopter is but their is only 2 nuts on them the one that holds the blades on called the jesus nut because if that comes off the pilot usualy goes "JESUS CHRIST" and the other flys it.
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 290
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
A woman runs into a Police station Yelling and screaming!!
The desk sergant asks whats the Problem? She says ive just been raped by an airline Pilot!!!
Police say, How do you know he was an airline Pilot ?
She says well! he had a Big watch a Little Dick and he wouldn't stop talking about himself.....
The desk sergant asks whats the Problem? She says ive just been raped by an airline Pilot!!!
Police say, How do you know he was an airline Pilot ?
She says well! he had a Big watch a Little Dick and he wouldn't stop talking about himself.....
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Florida
Age: 52
Posts: 418
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
A little humour in the morning
Ok, first off let me say this has nothing to do with aviation or helicopters. However having listened to it I haven't laughed as hard in a long time, so I wanted to share it.
A guy is driving to work and witnesses an accident involving one car hitting a car with 4 old ladies in it.
It was originally aired on a radio show in Texas. True or not it is still hilarious.
Hope you laugh as much as I did!
http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf
A guy is driving to work and witnesses an accident involving one car hitting a car with 4 old ladies in it.
It was originally aired on a radio show in Texas. True or not it is still hilarious.
Hope you laugh as much as I did!
http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf
y excellent!!!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Wales
Posts: 25
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Ha Ha Ha !!!! Brilliant !
Made me laugh out loud , but having lived in Texas for a 12 years and having a Texan wife I don't doubt its authenticity , those Texas women are pretty feisty !
They don't have the slogan " Don't Mess with Texas " in the Lone Star state for nothing.
Remember the Alamo !!!! YeeeeeeeHaaaaa.
Made me laugh out loud , but having lived in Texas for a 12 years and having a Texan wife I don't doubt its authenticity , those Texas women are pretty feisty !
They don't have the slogan " Don't Mess with Texas " in the Lone Star state for nothing.
Remember the Alamo !!!! YeeeeeeeHaaaaa.
Heli, non-heli (and even non-aviation) humour ...
I read this sometime ago. It is pretty good...
"Qantas Gripe sheets
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction.
The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
Note: Qantas is the only major airline that has never had a major accident.
P = The problem logged by the pilot
S = The solution and action taken by the maintenance people.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget."
"Qantas Gripe sheets
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction.
The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
Note: Qantas is the only major airline that has never had a major accident.
P = The problem logged by the pilot
S = The solution and action taken by the maintenance people.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget."
sooo funny
