THE EVOLUTION OF A FLIGHT ATTENDANT

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR ONE MONTH

She blushes at dirty jokes
She wants to marry a captain
She thinks that a flight attendant's work leaves her intelligent
She reads 'What Every Girl Should Know'
She thinks all men are nice
She wears her wings with pride

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR SIX MONTHS

She smiles at dirty jokes
She wants to marry a second officer
She thinks that a flight attendant's work leaves her fairly intelligent
She reads 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'
She thinks some men are nice
She wears her wings happily

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR ONE YEAR

She laughs at dirty jokes
She wants to marry a ramp agent
She thinks that a flight attendant's work leaves her intelligent enough
She reads 'The Art of Love'
She hopes some men are nice
She wears her wings doubtfully

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR THREE YEARS

She tells dirty jokes
She wants to marry a man
She thinks that a flight attendant's work leaves her a little intelligence
She reads 'How to Live Alone and Like It'
She knows all men are not nice
She still wears her wings

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR FIVE YEARS

She invents dirty jokes
She wants to marry
She would rather not have to think
She reads 'To Have and to Hold'
She would rather wear a ring

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR TEN YEARS

She is the girl in the dirty jokes
She wants to marry, "but after all, is it really necessary?"
She can't think
She reads 'Fact is Better Than Fiction'
She is glad all men are not nice
She wears a mink

- with thanks to an ex-South African Airways gentleman who I'm sure would not like to be named here.