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Old 10th May 2017, 18:17   #41 (permalink)
 
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Men don't lie, they simply describe perfectly plausible alternate realities.
Sadly, women have one reality only.
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Old 10th May 2017, 18:20   #42 (permalink)
 
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Starbucks does NOT sell coffee.
The jury is still out on what they're really selling, but it ain't coffee.
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Old 10th May 2017, 18:25   #43 (permalink)
 
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47.6% of statistics are simply made up.
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Old 10th May 2017, 18:33   #44 (permalink)
 
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If the enemy is in range, so are you.

Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action.

All strategies need a Plan B.

The Plan B should be better than "and then we all starve to death in a snowbank outside Smolensk."

When a statement begins "It's not that I don't...", the speaker doesn't.
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Old 10th May 2017, 18:45   #45 (permalink)
 
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Tracer works both ways.....
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Old 10th May 2017, 18:53   #46 (permalink)
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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Americans can't make tea.
Brits can't make coffee.
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Old 10th May 2017, 19:15   #47 (permalink)
 
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"I motori sono come le donne: bisogna saperli toccare nelle parti pił sensibili."
Enzo Ferrari

Engines are like women: you have to know where to touch them.
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Old 10th May 2017, 19:21   #48 (permalink)
 
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It does not matter who you vote for, the government always gets in!
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Old 10th May 2017, 19:55   #49 (permalink)
 
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Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

War is God's way of teaching geography to Americans

Love many, trust a few, always paddle your own canoe.
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Old 10th May 2017, 20:00   #50 (permalink)
 
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Life is a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
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Old 10th May 2017, 22:02   #51 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by langleybaston View Post
I'll take the nurses every time.
A graduate of Finninley Nav School?
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Old 11th May 2017, 01:17   #52 (permalink)
 
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Avionics are smoke powered....

... Because when smoke starts leaking out of the boxes, the fairy kit stops working.

On my fitters course the instructor told the class "radar is voodoo magic. Nobody really understands how the system works".
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Old 11th May 2017, 03:18   #53 (permalink)
 
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Women need a reason to have sex; men need an opportunity.

When it comes to shopping, the reverse is true.
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Old 11th May 2017, 07:00   #54 (permalink)
 
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There's always one in every bunch of twelve
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Old 11th May 2017, 08:23   #55 (permalink)
 
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The rotors on a helicopter are only there to keep the pilots cool.

When they stop turning, watch them start sweating ...
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Old 11th May 2017, 08:32   #56 (permalink)
 
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Michael Caine accent:
"If you can see the camera, then the camera can see you.
Not a lot of people know that."
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Old 11th May 2017, 08:40   #57 (permalink)
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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Microphones pick up sounds.

Not a lot of prime ministers know that
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Old 11th May 2017, 09:00   #58 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by squeaker View Post
47.6% of statistics are simply made up.
And 99% of them are wrong.
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Old 11th May 2017, 09:56   #59 (permalink)
 
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If in the event of a crisis you can keep a clear head whilst all around you are panicking

...............you clearly have no comprehension of the gravity of the situation!
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Old 11th May 2017, 10:53   #60 (permalink)
 
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"More than three's a Mutiny !"
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