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Boy, they certainly spoil Officers today

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Boy, they certainly spoil Officers today

Old 8th Jul 2015, 02:12
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Boy, they certainly spoil Officers today

Just look


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Old 8th Jul 2015, 04:03
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Thats' s a rather cheap & nasty wine to include; how about something from South Australia or Marlborough?
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Old 8th Jul 2015, 05:24
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Utter Genius.
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Old 8th Jul 2015, 05:38
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But wouldn't his batman take it out of the box and prepare it for him?
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Old 8th Jul 2015, 05:46
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Beats the old "K" Ration into a cocked hat ! (but where's the toilet paper ?)
 
Old 8th Jul 2015, 08:15
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That is the Marine Corporal !!
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Old 8th Jul 2015, 08:29
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Surely, the candelabra should be silver with at least two candles in case one of them blows out leaving the officer unable to light his cigar.
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Old 8th Jul 2015, 08:45
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Obvious spoof, cheap sausages for breakfast? Much too common and bland.

The proper pack contains devilled kidneys and kedgeree.

Last edited by ORAC; 8th Jul 2015 at 08:59.
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Old 8th Jul 2015, 08:52
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When the scales of field equipment for airborne forces were being considered - circa 1942 - one item was how many sheets of loo paper. This seemed to baffle the officers who formed the necessary (ney vital) sub committee, so history has it that they decided to ask the orderly who was looking after the staff.

He is reputed to have answered - quick as a flash - 'four, Sir'.

'On what do you base that' he was asked.

'One up, one down, one across and one for polish' was the response.

Old Duffer

PS The days when sheets of loo paper were over printed with Government property, loo paper was known as; the Army Blank Form.
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Old 8th Jul 2015, 09:03
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RSM addresses parade, holding up roll of toilet paper. "You may use.." (tears off slowly & deliberately) "two sheets of paper. You will not do this!" (tears off about 2m of paper, places between legs and see-saws it back and forth.)
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Old 8th Jul 2015, 12:19
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After 48 hours on 'compo' rations, any actual opportunity to require the use of 'Paper, toilet, bum for the wiping with' would be pretty unlikely....
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Old 8th Jul 2015, 13:23
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Smile

Hydromet


I can remember being taught that it was, three sheets....."one polish and two shine" - that was in the days when the paper also had Government Property printed on every sheet.


Happy days.


MB
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Old 9th Jul 2015, 13:31
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And was shiny and "medicated with Izal Germicide" ISTR
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Old 9th Jul 2015, 17:43
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And a little stiff - the paper that is/was
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Old 9th Jul 2015, 17:57
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that was in the days when the paper also had Government Property printed on every sheet
... and had a little blank square outline in the corner of each sheet. This was to allow officers to tick, to indicate that it had been used!
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Old 9th Jul 2015, 18:25
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Angel

I was taught one folded it in four and tore off the corner, one then pushed owns finger through the hole in the centre when unfolded and used it to help scoop the poop, post poop scooping, one slid it up ones finger cleaning that, then taking the torn of corner used that to clean ones nail...


It was and still remains the only Government white paper ever worth a sh*te.
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Old 9th Jul 2015, 20:30
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Luxury! At my school we had toilet paper called Bronco which was as kind to young rear ends as greaseproof paper! The headmaster used to boast about it at every opportunity. I think the old misanthrope probably had shares in the company.
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Old 9th Jul 2015, 20:35
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Beagle has it absolutely correct. I well remember as a Halton apprentice doing the "week in Wales" on compo and only managing two visits to the ablutions. The Babies heads from the compo packs were gratefully consumed, I ended up with a surfeit of "bog paper". Would that make toilet paper in the compo pack a "contradiction of terms" ?

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Old 9th Jul 2015, 21:27
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Knowing that the 'officers ration pack' lecture has been doing the rounds for at least 30 years I do wonder just how old the routine is.
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Old 10th Jul 2015, 02:08
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Should always carry a small jar of curry powder. Only way to make that stuff palatable!

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