Why has he not got a sharp thing?...
Thread Starter
Why has he not got a sharp thing?...
... asked Mrs Golf when she noticed that a guardsman was sans bayonet at the do today. I immediately dismissed her as nuts, then saw it for myself. I could only assume it fell off, and that picking it up was not an option. Any other ideas? If I'm right, it doesn't bode well in a bayonet charge does it?
CG
CG
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If I may regale you with a bayonet tale. Many years ago I was on a Freedom of Somewhere near Nottingham. Can't for the life of me remember where it was but anyway it took place in a cricket pavilion as it was raining cats and dogs. I was in charge of my little section of airmen shouting out the various bits when it came to 'Fix bayonets' as the mayor of wherever walked down the line inspecting us.
I reached behind and gave a good tug on my bayonet in it's frog when to my horror the whole shooting match came off the webbing belt and I fixed bayonet, in its scabbard and with bits of webbing still attached to my SLR.
Carry on I thought, nothing has happened that I can't deal with. Mayor and entourage walk past, lady in entourage gave me an appreciative look and smile and it was soon all over and beer and cakes all round.
Entourage lady who was quite a looker came up to chat to me; I apologised for the gaff with the bayonet, she says 'Oh no, it wasn't that I was smiling at, your flies were undone, in fact they still are.'
I've always had the ability to carry off the most horrendous faux pas and I believe I did so on that day as I finished up with the good lady's number...
I reached behind and gave a good tug on my bayonet in it's frog when to my horror the whole shooting match came off the webbing belt and I fixed bayonet, in its scabbard and with bits of webbing still attached to my SLR.
Carry on I thought, nothing has happened that I can't deal with. Mayor and entourage walk past, lady in entourage gave me an appreciative look and smile and it was soon all over and beer and cakes all round.
Entourage lady who was quite a looker came up to chat to me; I apologised for the gaff with the bayonet, she says 'Oh no, it wasn't that I was smiling at, your flies were undone, in fact they still are.'
I've always had the ability to carry off the most horrendous faux pas and I believe I did so on that day as I finished up with the good lady's number...
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I've never looked at it that way before. The CO of Newton was there, I was attached on a missile course and he thought it was hilarious. Luckily for me I came up smelling of roses again. I'm nearly 60 and I'm sure my luck will run out one day...
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One of the most shaming incidents in what I laughingly term my "career", came when I was Parade Adjutant one day.
I gave the order "Fix" (wait for it, wait for it) "Bayonets!". And then forgot what to say next !
An eternity later, "Shun", whispered the Parade Warrant Officer.
Not one of my better days !
D.
I gave the order "Fix" (wait for it, wait for it) "Bayonets!". And then forgot what to say next !
An eternity later, "Shun", whispered the Parade Warrant Officer.Not one of my better days !
D.
Thread Starter
Well, an aviation forum is the right place to ask that one.
CG
Evertonian
Well, CG, in today's OH&S environment, you can't be too careful y'know.
A bayonet could hurt someone.
A bayonet could hurt someone.
Loose Bayonet on Parade
I well remember being on parade at a certain College in Lincolnshire circa 1961 when, after we had followed the commands to 'Fix ... Bayonets', there was a distinct 'clink' from further along the line when subsequently called to 'Attention' - someone's bayonet hadn't been 'fixed' properly to his rifle.
This 'clink' was repeated when we closed ranks, which confirmed our fears as to what might happen next when the order came to 'Slope Arms': just where would the loose bayonet land as it flew off the end of the rifle?
Waiting was agony, but fortunately the sharp flying object landed clear of everyone and we could concentrate once again on not making visible mistakes in front of the Reviewing Officer (and our NCOs).
This 'clink' was repeated when we closed ranks, which confirmed our fears as to what might happen next when the order came to 'Slope Arms': just where would the loose bayonet land as it flew off the end of the rifle?
Waiting was agony, but fortunately the sharp flying object landed clear of everyone and we could concentrate once again on not making visible mistakes in front of the Reviewing Officer (and our NCOs).
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Arrse plays spot the errors
How many Trooping of the colour mistakes did you see? | Army Rumour Service
How many Trooping of the colour mistakes did you see? | Army Rumour Service
Thread Starter
CG, at least there are one or two here that actually know actual answers about the actual question.
Talking of BBQs...
Talking of BBQs...
CG
Gentleman Aviator
How many Trooping of the colour mistakes did you see? | Army Rumour Service
Best I don't say that on ARRSE then......
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1st page or so covers that.
