do do do you remember .........?
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do do do you remember .........?
Odd how the trivia from times past pop up in ambush.
Here are a few:
The use of pink/white stripy toothpaste, mixed, to fill naughty holes in MQ wall [always magnolia wherever we went].
The not believing march-out with white gloves and dental mirror ....... until it happened.
The colonel who really did allow his pony in the lounge "but not the dining room of course" [JHQ].
The Met. observer out dawn airfield mushrooming who was totally lost in fog so that he was missing for the rest of his duty [AND the fog was forecast, guvnor].
Being told [JHQ again] that there was one garden roller for 20 quarters to share, one wheelbarrow in 10, one ladder in 10 ....... and nobody ever knew where the items were. Although I did once see the roller.
The mysteries of the x/y factor.
The even greater mysteries of accruing points towards MQ allocation.
And why, as one became more senior, the privileges upstream disappeared just before promotion.
Just musing.
Here are a few:
The use of pink/white stripy toothpaste, mixed, to fill naughty holes in MQ wall [always magnolia wherever we went].
The not believing march-out with white gloves and dental mirror ....... until it happened.
The colonel who really did allow his pony in the lounge "but not the dining room of course" [JHQ].
The Met. observer out dawn airfield mushrooming who was totally lost in fog so that he was missing for the rest of his duty [AND the fog was forecast, guvnor].
Being told [JHQ again] that there was one garden roller for 20 quarters to share, one wheelbarrow in 10, one ladder in 10 ....... and nobody ever knew where the items were. Although I did once see the roller.
The mysteries of the x/y factor.
The even greater mysteries of accruing points towards MQ allocation.
And why, as one became more senior, the privileges upstream disappeared just before promotion.
Just musing.
Dismantling the cooker and finding a handful of spare bits on remantling.
Crating white goods.
MFO boxes (never issued the screws though).
Saucepans (still got ours when they were all sold off in the early eighties).
The mythical tale of a couple of Infantrymen who had constructed a train set that went through the walls/doors of their flats.
The equally mythical tale of the dog being strung up on the barrier at the level crossing.
4DM to the £.
Yellow handbags.
Fridges issued in BAOR but not in UK.
Peat fuelled fires in NI.
Fooling everyone into thinking you weren't a squaddie by the clever trick of putting in a civvie jacket over your uniform.
Carpets that never reached the walls.
Crating white goods.
MFO boxes (never issued the screws though).
Saucepans (still got ours when they were all sold off in the early eighties).
The mythical tale of a couple of Infantrymen who had constructed a train set that went through the walls/doors of their flats.
The equally mythical tale of the dog being strung up on the barrier at the level crossing.
4DM to the £.
Yellow handbags.
Fridges issued in BAOR but not in UK.
Peat fuelled fires in NI.
Fooling everyone into thinking you weren't a squaddie by the clever trick of putting in a civvie jacket over your uniform.
Carpets that never reached the walls.
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Carpets that did reach the walls only to have 1' cut out because one was not entitled to wall-to-wall.
9+ DM to the £!
Bernie in the GT Commerzbank who was wirelocked to "Yes" regardless of the question being asked.
9+ DM to the £!
Bernie in the GT Commerzbank who was wirelocked to "Yes" regardless of the question being asked.
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Newly promoted to Corporal, posted to Valley and into an MQ previously occupied by a Pilot Officer. They cut the carpets off at the edges, two days after we moved in, because as a JNCO I wasn't entitled to fitted ones. I kid you not.
Sun.
Sun.
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Circa 1970, MQ,s in Cefn Glas Bridgend, for St Athen. I had a dead tree in the rear garden. Because the quarters were rented, I ha d to get the tree certified DEAD! This took myself to show them the tree ( only 8 feet high ) the Families officer to check it was dead, Works and Bricks man to confirm it was dead and a man with a spade to dig it up !!!! Happy days .
Back in Norn Irn....
.....late '60s. Families officer (a nice man)popped his cloggs. Until a new one was found Orderly Officer duties were extended to include march outs but not march ins????
My neighbour was posted to Singapore and decided to have a "drink the cupboard dry" party before they left, in fact the night before the march out - what could possibly go wrong?
I was faced, the next morning, with about 4 square feet of plaster ripped off the kitchen wall where he had with one smooth flowing movement yanked the beer tap off the wall where he'd fixed it with 4inch nails "It'll be alright love there'll be four little holes polyfilla will fix" Error!
Madame (who was artistic) had decided to paint a giraffe with its feet on the bottom landing and its neck curving up round the stair well. "Don't you get pissed off with magnolia magnolia bloody magnolia all the time and everywhere?"
And so it went on and on........ F/O Rossian is desparately looking to the barrack warden and the stores wallah and every other rep from admin wing
WTF am I supposed to with this lot? I have no recollection of what the bill came to but it must have been a lot.
To round off their day, when they got on to the motorway in UK off the ferry they were pulled over by Lancashire's finest who essentially took their car off the road. Arranged for everything in the car to go into cardboard boxes and took them to the railway station to continue to Lyneham to catch the Britannia.
Tell the younguns today and they wunt believe you.
The Ancient Mariner
My neighbour was posted to Singapore and decided to have a "drink the cupboard dry" party before they left, in fact the night before the march out - what could possibly go wrong?
I was faced, the next morning, with about 4 square feet of plaster ripped off the kitchen wall where he had with one smooth flowing movement yanked the beer tap off the wall where he'd fixed it with 4inch nails "It'll be alright love there'll be four little holes polyfilla will fix" Error!
Madame (who was artistic) had decided to paint a giraffe with its feet on the bottom landing and its neck curving up round the stair well. "Don't you get pissed off with magnolia magnolia bloody magnolia all the time and everywhere?"
And so it went on and on........ F/O Rossian is desparately looking to the barrack warden and the stores wallah and every other rep from admin wing
WTF am I supposed to with this lot? I have no recollection of what the bill came to but it must have been a lot.
To round off their day, when they got on to the motorway in UK off the ferry they were pulled over by Lancashire's finest who essentially took their car off the road. Arranged for everything in the car to go into cardboard boxes and took them to the railway station to continue to Lyneham to catch the Britannia.
Tell the younguns today and they wunt believe you.
The Ancient Mariner
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Mid 90's Posted to 'Sunny' Tidders from AFCENT with a MQ in Ludgershall...
Getting the furniture upstairs came to a grinding halt, until the window sill and bannister met the saw and were suitably 'trimmed' .... Well, okay then. They got well cut back.
Also had this brick shed/outhouse attached to the side of the house. A nice place to put the freezer I thought, but it just wouldnt fit. A quick phone call to the local Estate Warden who didnt quite catch on and quite obviously thought I was taking the p**s when I asked if I could take out the wall in the outhouse to get the freezer in.
A couple of hours later once the freezer was in and chillin nicely I rang said Estate Warden again, this time to book the bulk rubbish truck to remove a large pile of bricks that had mysteriously appeared outside the MQ.
Think he broke all speed records getting from Tidders to Ludgershall that day. Never did get a bill from that or any other MQ we had, although I don't think he ever thought a sapper was taking the mick on the phone again
Getting the furniture upstairs came to a grinding halt, until the window sill and bannister met the saw and were suitably 'trimmed' .... Well, okay then. They got well cut back.
Also had this brick shed/outhouse attached to the side of the house. A nice place to put the freezer I thought, but it just wouldnt fit. A quick phone call to the local Estate Warden who didnt quite catch on and quite obviously thought I was taking the p**s when I asked if I could take out the wall in the outhouse to get the freezer in.
A couple of hours later once the freezer was in and chillin nicely I rang said Estate Warden again, this time to book the bulk rubbish truck to remove a large pile of bricks that had mysteriously appeared outside the MQ.
Think he broke all speed records getting from Tidders to Ludgershall that day. Never did get a bill from that or any other MQ we had, although I don't think he ever thought a sapper was taking the mick on the phone again
$4.80 (US) to the Pound!
The amazing 1 & 1/2 inch porcelain sink in OMQ's (NOT the thickness of the sink) and only noticed on return from detachments!!
Solid fuel deliveries to OMQ's!!
Those were pretty good days, I think!
BM
The amazing 1 & 1/2 inch porcelain sink in OMQ's (NOT the thickness of the sink) and only noticed on return from detachments!!
Solid fuel deliveries to OMQ's!!
Those were pretty good days, I think!
BM
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The even greater mysteries of accruing points towards MQ allocation.
One wasn't eligible to march in, withing 6 months of demob!
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Going to barrack stores for spare light bulbs.
Service beds that squeaked in reaction to your heartbeat.
Petrol coupons - in my time it was 10l for 4DM.
Leave travel warrants.
Marching-in/out with your wife being instructed to remain in the car.
Service beds that squeaked in reaction to your heartbeat.
Petrol coupons - in my time it was 10l for 4DM.
Leave travel warrants.
Marching-in/out with your wife being instructed to remain in the car.
Gentleman Aviator
MQ in secret helicopter base in Shropshire. It was "spend some spare dosh in quarters" time of year, so a plumber came around to plumb in fittings for washing machine in unfeasible large downstairs loo.
Very welcome, but pointed out to plumber there was no socket in loo; couldn't use extension lead to hall in case loo needed for its "primary duty".
"Don't worry mate," says plumber, "they thought of that, there's another bloke coming round tomorrow."
So that would be the electrician methinks. WRONG! It was a carpenter to cut a (fairly) neat triangle from the bottom of the door, so you could shut it while using the (not a stores item Sir) extension lead!
Very welcome, but pointed out to plumber there was no socket in loo; couldn't use extension lead to hall in case loo needed for its "primary duty".
"Don't worry mate," says plumber, "they thought of that, there's another bloke coming round tomorrow."
So that would be the electrician methinks. WRONG! It was a carpenter to cut a (fairly) neat triangle from the bottom of the door, so you could shut it while using the (not a stores item Sir) extension lead!
- Mid 1990s: Notice boards in the NAAFI shop full of photos of 'Shranks' brought back from hirings in Germany that just didn't seem to fit MQs in the UK....anyway, they were vile pieces of furniture.
- Same notice-boards and 'Sixth Sense' full of adverts selling 'slightly used' BFG compliant headlight sets
- Large bureau/desk/cabinet mahogany monstrosities issued to Officers that didn't fit into quarters
- BFG Driving tests for spouses required after 3 years of living in Naples
- Two suitcase entitlement for overseas courses under 6 months; 4.1 cubic metres entitlement of UB for courses over 6 months.
- having to submit receipts for all subsistence claims with the introduction of capped actuals about 10 years ago
- Happy Hours on a Friday....starting with the Wing Execs lunch at 1300
- Midday Monday to Midday Friday routine in Main Building
- When it was called Main Building...
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Ration cards for tobacco and Spirits in the NAAFI shop.
Old 5p being used in tobacco machines instead of DM.
Astra Cinema in Cologne and Duisburg.
BFES schools
Ah memories
Old 5p being used in tobacco machines instead of DM.
Astra Cinema in Cologne and Duisburg.
BFES schools
Ah memories
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DM11.20 = £1.
Working out what to steal at marching-out to get full value from the Breakage Allowance.
Getting a BFG registration for a caravan you hadn't even seen yet (so that you could tow it from Ostend).
14oz of 'Edgeworth' in the PX for the same price as 1oz 'St Bruno' in the NAAFI.
Working out what to steal at marching-out to get full value from the Breakage Allowance.
Getting a BFG registration for a caravan you hadn't even seen yet (so that you could tow it from Ostend).
14oz of 'Edgeworth' in the PX for the same price as 1oz 'St Bruno' in the NAAFI.
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Old Boy's Network
Bedfordshire Tech in the late 80's, move into my MQ, redecoration needed (of course). Contact families officer, "sorry P" says he, "no money, you can come round and choose some colours and we will supply the paint for you to do it".
B****r that.
One week later in comes Fam. Office car for oil change.
5ltrs of oil, 4 plugs, filters various and a set of points deposited in front LH footwell.
Wander down to MT control, hand keys to Cpl controller and order him to return car to Families Officer with the message " No staff, here's the kit, you are very welcome to use my facilities".
Half an hour later phone rings, "Hi P, touché, come round and pick some colours"
D and I got on famously after that.
It's not what you know.......
PM
B****r that.
One week later in comes Fam. Office car for oil change.
5ltrs of oil, 4 plugs, filters various and a set of points deposited in front LH footwell.
Wander down to MT control, hand keys to Cpl controller and order him to return car to Families Officer with the message " No staff, here's the kit, you are very welcome to use my facilities".
Half an hour later phone rings, "Hi P, touché, come round and pick some colours"
D and I got on famously after that.
It's not what you know.......
PM
1991 - OC Admin at a station almost in the Midlands. Outside MQ sitting room "French" door is what was a pond, now filled in with earth, and would look better as a patio. Local hardware shop has slabs a £1 a time, only need 2 dozen, plus a bag or two of sand. Hardware store delivers sand and slabs on a pallet. Within half an hour, 2 squadron commanders have rung Families Officer to ask when their patios are being delivered and installed.............
Last edited by Wander00; 8th Nov 2014 at 17:08.
Thread Starter
Having to work Wednesdays widely regarded as buggering both weekends. [SHAPE]
The coke delivery wagons having an abacus of wooden balls on a wire to count the quanta of fuel dumped into the cellar. [Guetersloh]
Midnight Mass at Christmas populated by:
drunks in full evening kit
drunks in smart cas.
drunks in ski wear
drunks.
The leather-bound filthy song books issued for happy hour [1 Gp Bawtry]. And the female officer pianist, turning not a blonde hair.
The coke delivery wagons having an abacus of wooden balls on a wire to count the quanta of fuel dumped into the cellar. [Guetersloh]
Midnight Mass at Christmas populated by:
drunks in full evening kit
drunks in smart cas.
drunks in ski wear
drunks.
The leather-bound filthy song books issued for happy hour [1 Gp Bawtry]. And the female officer pianist, turning not a blonde hair.
