The 1 Gp Dining In Night at Waddington
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The 1 Gp Dining In Night at Waddington
With all the moaning and groaning that Pprune attracts, perhaps it’s time for a thread that might raise a few laughs and stir a few memories.
Back in the early 70’s, when Happy Hours reached that stage of the evening when all the tales of airborne derring-do had been exhausted, the bar talk often switched over to the ‘legendary’ 1 Group Dining –In Night. Those who had attended had a fund of stories, and even those that never made the function often repeated stories they had been told by those who had attended of ‘events’ that occurred. All of the following is hearsay, based on bar talk many years ago after numerous beers on all sides - I can make no guarantee whatsoever for the accuracy of any of the detail. Anyway, from what I can remember of the ‘tall’ tales, events went something like this:
It was the height of the ‘V’ force and a misguided AOC 1 Group decided it would be an outstanding idea to have a 1 Group Dining-In Night at Waddington to which as many V force aircrew as possible would be ‘invited’ to attend. This function would celebrate the success of the V Force and allow the AOC to wallow in the unadulterated praise of his troops and amass bags of smartie points with the wheels from HQ Bomber Command and MOD. Given the size of the V Force in those days the numbers involved were huge and so a special working group was set up well in advance to organise the whole event and ensure everything went with ‘military precision’.
As the great day approached, the area surrounding the Officers Mess at Waddington was transformed by a vast series of interconnected marquees in which the dinner would be held. A vast ‘Op Order’ was duly dispatched to all the V Bomber units, giving everyone the fine detail of the great event. This detail even included the times for all the coaches to leave the units, ensuring they all eventually arrived at approximately the same time.
The great day dawned and the blokes, given this early example of excessive micro-management, had decided to make some alternative refreshment arrangements for the coach journeys to ensure nobody suffered from dehydration during the journey to Waddington. So at the appointed time the coaches filled up and everyone began to get stuck into the beer crates that had been stacked on board. Also, emotions were running high in the V Force at the time, particularly as far as the rear crew were concerned. The designers of the V Bombers had decided not to provide the rear crew with ejector seats. The folly of this decision was starting to be felt following the crash of a Vulcan at Heathrow as it attempted to land after a world tour. The two pilots managed to eject, but the 3 crew in the rear died. The actual co-pilot was one of those who died in the back. One of the pilots who survived was a WW2 hero who was now a 3* and, as AOC Bomber Command, had decided to join the crew for the final leg. The 3* was attending the dinner as the Guest of Honour – all of the highly combustible elements were in place.
At 1930hrs the coaches began to arrive at Waddington with most of the occupants already ‘tired and emotional’ after the journey. Pre-dinner drinks only exacerbated an already volatile situation. Eventually everyone was summoned into this vast marquee, grace was said and the dinner began. From that point on things went downhill at an ever-accelerating pace. The sound system was an early victim of sabotage. The marquee itself was so vast that many of the legs could barely see the top table and, with no audible direction from on high, decided to take events into their own hands. Food was largely ignored as more and more wine, beer and spirits that had been smuggled in were consumed. Before long various altercations broke out between squadrons or individuals as old scores were settled. The stakes were soon raised as individuals began seeing who dared sabotage the most supporting elements of the marquee, interfering with the activities of some other sports enthusiasts who had begun sliding down the outside.
The top table did their best to regain control of events, but the sheer scale of the function meant that, rather like a forest fire, as soon as one element was damped down, the fire would suddenly spring up elsewhere. It was decided to curtail the event as rapidly as possible with a rousing speech from the 3*, however, the sight of him rising to his feet was the final straw and complete bedlam broke out as food and various other items flew in the direction of the top table. A general food fight ensued. It was at this point that certain individuals cut the final supporting ropes on parts of the marquee. By common consent it was decided that the dinner was over and everyone began attempting to exit the marquee with more elements of it collapsing all the time.
Outside some enterprising wags had made an early exit. Making the most productive use of their time, they had found a fire hose, looped it through as many coaches as possible and waited in ambush. As people began streaming out of the collapsing marquee, the fire hose was turned on and aimed in their general direction. However, powerful fire hoses develop a mind of their own and as their prank had had the desired initial effect, the wags decided it was best to leg it. Free of any restraint whatsoever, the abandoned fire hose then proceeded to lash around in every direction, despite the best efforts of one or two game career officers who made valiant, but ultimately self-defeating, efforts to bring it under control. Little did they know that the resourceful and intelligent wags had also gone to the trouble of sabotaging the water control after they had turned the hose on. Eventually, after all sorts of mayhem, everyone dispersed back onto the coaches and disappeared off into the night, including a large group of wet and very p***ed off VIPs.
Retribution was required and heads must roll following such a fiasco. But the sheer scale of events, the numbers involved and the difficulty of identifying individual culprits, created unique difficulties. Finally it was decided that all those that attended would have a hat on, stand-up bollicking from their Stn Cdr, regardless of their involvement in certain activities or otherwise. The bollickings were duly administered and recorded in their next F1369. Since this historic function, the RAF has attempted to draw a discrete veil over the events that occurred that night at Waddington. You might find a slight reference to it in the odd book on the V Force, but nothing of substance - perhaps understandably. No doubt someone was ordered to conduct a enquiry and all the gory details must be in an aging file, gathering dust in the bowels of Main Building – most likely it’s already been shredded.
Well, that’s what I remember hearing from various sources about the 1 Gp Dining-In Night. Out there somewhere there must be Pprune readers who actually attended the event and can add their personal experiences of what happened. I know it’s not directly about flying as such, but it is a part of RAF History and it, and other ‘exuberant’ events that got out of hand, should be recorded for posterity and the amusement of others - provided no names are used. I also remember hearing stories about an Officers Mess in the Middle East that was actually burnt down following a rather over-exuberant Dining-In Night. The Stn Cdr, a distinguished Irishman of great renown, simply told the Mess Manager to charge the cost to his Mess Bill – but perhaps that’s another thread for the future. What chance another 1 Group Dining-In Night? – I think not!
Back in the early 70’s, when Happy Hours reached that stage of the evening when all the tales of airborne derring-do had been exhausted, the bar talk often switched over to the ‘legendary’ 1 Group Dining –In Night. Those who had attended had a fund of stories, and even those that never made the function often repeated stories they had been told by those who had attended of ‘events’ that occurred. All of the following is hearsay, based on bar talk many years ago after numerous beers on all sides - I can make no guarantee whatsoever for the accuracy of any of the detail. Anyway, from what I can remember of the ‘tall’ tales, events went something like this:
It was the height of the ‘V’ force and a misguided AOC 1 Group decided it would be an outstanding idea to have a 1 Group Dining-In Night at Waddington to which as many V force aircrew as possible would be ‘invited’ to attend. This function would celebrate the success of the V Force and allow the AOC to wallow in the unadulterated praise of his troops and amass bags of smartie points with the wheels from HQ Bomber Command and MOD. Given the size of the V Force in those days the numbers involved were huge and so a special working group was set up well in advance to organise the whole event and ensure everything went with ‘military precision’.
As the great day approached, the area surrounding the Officers Mess at Waddington was transformed by a vast series of interconnected marquees in which the dinner would be held. A vast ‘Op Order’ was duly dispatched to all the V Bomber units, giving everyone the fine detail of the great event. This detail even included the times for all the coaches to leave the units, ensuring they all eventually arrived at approximately the same time.
The great day dawned and the blokes, given this early example of excessive micro-management, had decided to make some alternative refreshment arrangements for the coach journeys to ensure nobody suffered from dehydration during the journey to Waddington. So at the appointed time the coaches filled up and everyone began to get stuck into the beer crates that had been stacked on board. Also, emotions were running high in the V Force at the time, particularly as far as the rear crew were concerned. The designers of the V Bombers had decided not to provide the rear crew with ejector seats. The folly of this decision was starting to be felt following the crash of a Vulcan at Heathrow as it attempted to land after a world tour. The two pilots managed to eject, but the 3 crew in the rear died. The actual co-pilot was one of those who died in the back. One of the pilots who survived was a WW2 hero who was now a 3* and, as AOC Bomber Command, had decided to join the crew for the final leg. The 3* was attending the dinner as the Guest of Honour – all of the highly combustible elements were in place.
At 1930hrs the coaches began to arrive at Waddington with most of the occupants already ‘tired and emotional’ after the journey. Pre-dinner drinks only exacerbated an already volatile situation. Eventually everyone was summoned into this vast marquee, grace was said and the dinner began. From that point on things went downhill at an ever-accelerating pace. The sound system was an early victim of sabotage. The marquee itself was so vast that many of the legs could barely see the top table and, with no audible direction from on high, decided to take events into their own hands. Food was largely ignored as more and more wine, beer and spirits that had been smuggled in were consumed. Before long various altercations broke out between squadrons or individuals as old scores were settled. The stakes were soon raised as individuals began seeing who dared sabotage the most supporting elements of the marquee, interfering with the activities of some other sports enthusiasts who had begun sliding down the outside.
The top table did their best to regain control of events, but the sheer scale of the function meant that, rather like a forest fire, as soon as one element was damped down, the fire would suddenly spring up elsewhere. It was decided to curtail the event as rapidly as possible with a rousing speech from the 3*, however, the sight of him rising to his feet was the final straw and complete bedlam broke out as food and various other items flew in the direction of the top table. A general food fight ensued. It was at this point that certain individuals cut the final supporting ropes on parts of the marquee. By common consent it was decided that the dinner was over and everyone began attempting to exit the marquee with more elements of it collapsing all the time.
Outside some enterprising wags had made an early exit. Making the most productive use of their time, they had found a fire hose, looped it through as many coaches as possible and waited in ambush. As people began streaming out of the collapsing marquee, the fire hose was turned on and aimed in their general direction. However, powerful fire hoses develop a mind of their own and as their prank had had the desired initial effect, the wags decided it was best to leg it. Free of any restraint whatsoever, the abandoned fire hose then proceeded to lash around in every direction, despite the best efforts of one or two game career officers who made valiant, but ultimately self-defeating, efforts to bring it under control. Little did they know that the resourceful and intelligent wags had also gone to the trouble of sabotaging the water control after they had turned the hose on. Eventually, after all sorts of mayhem, everyone dispersed back onto the coaches and disappeared off into the night, including a large group of wet and very p***ed off VIPs.
Retribution was required and heads must roll following such a fiasco. But the sheer scale of events, the numbers involved and the difficulty of identifying individual culprits, created unique difficulties. Finally it was decided that all those that attended would have a hat on, stand-up bollicking from their Stn Cdr, regardless of their involvement in certain activities or otherwise. The bollickings were duly administered and recorded in their next F1369. Since this historic function, the RAF has attempted to draw a discrete veil over the events that occurred that night at Waddington. You might find a slight reference to it in the odd book on the V Force, but nothing of substance - perhaps understandably. No doubt someone was ordered to conduct a enquiry and all the gory details must be in an aging file, gathering dust in the bowels of Main Building – most likely it’s already been shredded.
Well, that’s what I remember hearing from various sources about the 1 Gp Dining-In Night. Out there somewhere there must be Pprune readers who actually attended the event and can add their personal experiences of what happened. I know it’s not directly about flying as such, but it is a part of RAF History and it, and other ‘exuberant’ events that got out of hand, should be recorded for posterity and the amusement of others - provided no names are used. I also remember hearing stories about an Officers Mess in the Middle East that was actually burnt down following a rather over-exuberant Dining-In Night. The Stn Cdr, a distinguished Irishman of great renown, simply told the Mess Manager to charge the cost to his Mess Bill – but perhaps that’s another thread for the future. What chance another 1 Group Dining-In Night? – I think not!
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And it's all true!! Mates of mine in my early days on the V-farce used to talk about it in hushed whispers. It kept Plod of the SIB busy for ages, as all these villains had very high security clearances. The 3* was apparently told to 'sit down you f*cking murderer' - even though the Vulcan crash at London Airport was NOT his fault. When the buses (some of which had been driving around in holding patterns on the A1) arrived, as the door of one opened a body fell out into the flower bed at Waddington and threw up. Certain WRAFs were also 'involved' on billiard tables and the ante-room sofa, it would seem........allegedly!!
In more recent days - who remembers Bastard Bill and the 29(F) 'pink rabbit' dining-in night affair at Coningsby in the early 1980s??
In more recent days - who remembers Bastard Bill and the 29(F) 'pink rabbit' dining-in night affair at Coningsby in the early 1980s??
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BEagle
Interesting thought that the 3* was not responsible for the H/R crash. Perhaps one might enquire why an inadequately equipped aircraft was attempting to land at a civilian airfield in marginal conditions when there were perfectly suitable alternative military airfields? - A desire for PR maybe? - No, of course a 3* would never insist on a crew doing something so crassly stupid just for publicity purposes would he?..
Just recently looking at my photo of said Vulcan taxying out for departure from Khormaksar = probably the last photo taken before it's demise.
Interesting thought that the 3* was not responsible for the H/R crash. Perhaps one might enquire why an inadequately equipped aircraft was attempting to land at a civilian airfield in marginal conditions when there were perfectly suitable alternative military airfields? - A desire for PR maybe? - No, of course a 3* would never insist on a crew doing something so crassly stupid just for publicity purposes would he?..
Just recently looking at my photo of said Vulcan taxying out for departure from Khormaksar = probably the last photo taken before it's demise.
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Beagle
Glad to hear that my memory of the stories I heard all those years ago was essentially correct. The strange thing was that, because the Marquee was so vast and the numbers attending so huge, some people who were there missed out on most of the action and afterwards couldn't see what all the fuss was about. A bit rowdy perhaps but, according to them, nothing really out of the ordinary compared to other Dining-In Nights of that era. Other guys who were heavily involved in the 'activity' told completely different tales of general mayhem and drunken debauchery - it all depended where you were sitting.
With regards to the Vulcan crash at Heathrow, I had no intention of starting a debate on events that occurred over 40 years ago, rather my intention in mentioning the incident was to set the scene and explain why feelings were running so high.
With the greatest respect to the views of Cornish Jack, perhaps I should shed some further light on the incident and hopefully draw a line under the debate.
Firstly, my memory failed me and I was wrong to say that the 3* joined the crew for the final leg - he was with them from the outset. Here's roughly what happened:
Vulcan B1 XA897 was equipped with Green Satin, NBS, Blue Devil (T4 Bombsight), Gee Mk III, Marconi Radio Compass, Radio Altimeter, Air Mileage Unit, Periscope Sextant Mk II and ILS. The Aircraft departed Boscombe Down on 9 Sep 56 on Op Tasman Flight with a Sqn Ldr as Ac Capt, the 3*, 3 other Sqn Ldrs (one was also a fully qualified pilot) and an Avro rep. The aircraft routed via Aden, Singapore, Melbourne, and Adelaide to Christchurch in New Zealand. After appearing at various flying events, the aircraft routed back to UK via Brisbane, Darwin, Singapore, Ceylon and Aden. The aircraft left Aden on 1 Oct 56 for the final leg to UK. The plan was always for the aircraft to land at Heathrow where a VIP party would welcome the crew. As the aircraft began the approach the weather at Heathrow was about 1,100 yards visibility with 8/8ths cloud at 700 feet and 2/8ths cloud at 300 feet. The 3* left the decision whether or not to attempt a landing up to the Captain - the nominated diversion was Waddington where the weather was much better. The aircraft commenced a GCA approach - I don't think Heathrow was actually equipped with ILS in those days, but I may be wrong. The Captain had decided on a DH of 300 feet (1 mile). The talkdown provided by the GCA controller probably wasn't particularly good - he was probably more used to piston engined airliners and the speed of the Vulcan on final approach might well have caused in him problems, who knows. Either way, the final call from the controller was when the aircraft was at 3/4 of a mile from touchdown, when he notified the pilot that the aircraft was 80 feet above glidepath, in other words at the DH of 300 feet.
The aircraft struck the ground 1988 feet short of the runway and 250 feet North of the centre line taking off most of the undercarriage and severing most of the flying controls. The plane got airborne briefly, allowing the pilots to bang-out at 800 feet, but sadly giving insufficient time for the rear crew to exit through the door - the plane would have been to low for them to have had much chance of deploying a chute anyway. I think the presence of the 3* in the right hand seat, with all the additional pressure that entails, was cause for considerable comment - particularly as a more experienced pilot was in the back, but officially nothing more than that.
The RAF Court of Enquiry blamed the Heathrow GCA controller saying ' the failure of the controller to warn the captain that he was going below the glidepath was the principle cause of the accident'. A subsequent civil enquiry also determined that there was 'an error of judgement on the part of the pilot in selecting a break-off height of 300 feet and in going below it'. Readers may draw their own conclusions as to the actual cause. Either way the 3* is not in a position to defend himself, I saw his obit in 'The Daily Torygraph' some years back, and I suspect the Capt has also departed the fix. I think it best to let matters rest there. The above detail was obtained from 'V Bombers' by Tim Laming published by Patrick Stephens in 1997.
Anyway, back to the reply from Beagle. Bastard Bill and the 29(F) 'pink rabbit' Dining-In Night affair at Coningsby in the early 1980's. Was that the occasion when a demolition derby took place on the front lawn and was subsequently widely reported in the national papers? The 55 Sqn 'let's saw a table in half' Dining-In Night also sounds interesting -I think we need more details !!!!
Glad to hear that my memory of the stories I heard all those years ago was essentially correct. The strange thing was that, because the Marquee was so vast and the numbers attending so huge, some people who were there missed out on most of the action and afterwards couldn't see what all the fuss was about. A bit rowdy perhaps but, according to them, nothing really out of the ordinary compared to other Dining-In Nights of that era. Other guys who were heavily involved in the 'activity' told completely different tales of general mayhem and drunken debauchery - it all depended where you were sitting.
With regards to the Vulcan crash at Heathrow, I had no intention of starting a debate on events that occurred over 40 years ago, rather my intention in mentioning the incident was to set the scene and explain why feelings were running so high.
With the greatest respect to the views of Cornish Jack, perhaps I should shed some further light on the incident and hopefully draw a line under the debate.
Firstly, my memory failed me and I was wrong to say that the 3* joined the crew for the final leg - he was with them from the outset. Here's roughly what happened:
Vulcan B1 XA897 was equipped with Green Satin, NBS, Blue Devil (T4 Bombsight), Gee Mk III, Marconi Radio Compass, Radio Altimeter, Air Mileage Unit, Periscope Sextant Mk II and ILS. The Aircraft departed Boscombe Down on 9 Sep 56 on Op Tasman Flight with a Sqn Ldr as Ac Capt, the 3*, 3 other Sqn Ldrs (one was also a fully qualified pilot) and an Avro rep. The aircraft routed via Aden, Singapore, Melbourne, and Adelaide to Christchurch in New Zealand. After appearing at various flying events, the aircraft routed back to UK via Brisbane, Darwin, Singapore, Ceylon and Aden. The aircraft left Aden on 1 Oct 56 for the final leg to UK. The plan was always for the aircraft to land at Heathrow where a VIP party would welcome the crew. As the aircraft began the approach the weather at Heathrow was about 1,100 yards visibility with 8/8ths cloud at 700 feet and 2/8ths cloud at 300 feet. The 3* left the decision whether or not to attempt a landing up to the Captain - the nominated diversion was Waddington where the weather was much better. The aircraft commenced a GCA approach - I don't think Heathrow was actually equipped with ILS in those days, but I may be wrong. The Captain had decided on a DH of 300 feet (1 mile). The talkdown provided by the GCA controller probably wasn't particularly good - he was probably more used to piston engined airliners and the speed of the Vulcan on final approach might well have caused in him problems, who knows. Either way, the final call from the controller was when the aircraft was at 3/4 of a mile from touchdown, when he notified the pilot that the aircraft was 80 feet above glidepath, in other words at the DH of 300 feet.
The aircraft struck the ground 1988 feet short of the runway and 250 feet North of the centre line taking off most of the undercarriage and severing most of the flying controls. The plane got airborne briefly, allowing the pilots to bang-out at 800 feet, but sadly giving insufficient time for the rear crew to exit through the door - the plane would have been to low for them to have had much chance of deploying a chute anyway. I think the presence of the 3* in the right hand seat, with all the additional pressure that entails, was cause for considerable comment - particularly as a more experienced pilot was in the back, but officially nothing more than that.
The RAF Court of Enquiry blamed the Heathrow GCA controller saying ' the failure of the controller to warn the captain that he was going below the glidepath was the principle cause of the accident'. A subsequent civil enquiry also determined that there was 'an error of judgement on the part of the pilot in selecting a break-off height of 300 feet and in going below it'. Readers may draw their own conclusions as to the actual cause. Either way the 3* is not in a position to defend himself, I saw his obit in 'The Daily Torygraph' some years back, and I suspect the Capt has also departed the fix. I think it best to let matters rest there. The above detail was obtained from 'V Bombers' by Tim Laming published by Patrick Stephens in 1997.
Anyway, back to the reply from Beagle. Bastard Bill and the 29(F) 'pink rabbit' Dining-In Night affair at Coningsby in the early 1980's. Was that the occasion when a demolition derby took place on the front lawn and was subsequently widely reported in the national papers? The 55 Sqn 'let's saw a table in half' Dining-In Night also sounds interesting -I think we need more details !!!!
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Cornish Jack - XA897 was adequately equipped, the aircraft was under GCA control and was being flown by the captain, not the 3*, for its approach to London Airport. However, a poor talkdown from an inexperienced controller unfamiliar with the higher approach speed of the Vulcan, the fact that this was the captain's first EVER full GCA in a Vulcan and an unknown total altimeter error of 200 ft which only came to light months later all contributed to the demise of the aircraft and the 4 other crew members including the other co-pilot who was on the 6th seat in the lower crew compartment. In the press release the other co-pilot was referred to as a 'navigator' to avoid adverse comment about there being another fully qualified Vulcan pilot onboard whilst the 3* (fully qualified on type) was in the co-pilot's seat. However, the scandal of not equipping the Vulcan rear crew with ejector seats continued throughout the rest of the aircraft's time in service.
Schadenfreude - no, Bastard Bill had gone by the time of the demolition derby. The 'pink rabbit' was actually a piglet in an OCU T-shirt which was tipped into the dining room through a window by the 29(F) team during the OCU boss's speech. The piglet was given a helping boot up the bum and went nuts, charging around the dining-room. The PMC then demanded that the piglet was apprehended and chaos ensued. Finally 29(F) were ordered out of the room - so they got stuck into a few beers in the ante-room. Bastard Bill demanded that the whole thing was kept quiet and threatened no mercy for anyone who squealed. Hence it was known as a 'pink rabbit' for the remainder of Bastard Bill's time at Coningsby!!
[This message has been edited by BEagle (edited 08 June 2000).]
Schadenfreude - no, Bastard Bill had gone by the time of the demolition derby. The 'pink rabbit' was actually a piglet in an OCU T-shirt which was tipped into the dining room through a window by the 29(F) team during the OCU boss's speech. The piglet was given a helping boot up the bum and went nuts, charging around the dining-room. The PMC then demanded that the piglet was apprehended and chaos ensued. Finally 29(F) were ordered out of the room - so they got stuck into a few beers in the ante-room. Bastard Bill demanded that the whole thing was kept quiet and threatened no mercy for anyone who squealed. Hence it was known as a 'pink rabbit' for the remainder of Bastard Bill's time at Coningsby!!
[This message has been edited by BEagle (edited 08 June 2000).]
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There was of course the table sawing Oktoberfest at Wildenrath when somebody lost a finger.
Then there was the occasion at Gutersloh when somebody deflated the bouncy castle at a Summer Ball - unfortunately the airborne officer leaping off the Feuhrer Balkon hit the ground hard.
We also had the 'pod' chopping incident on exercise at Marham. A 'disillusioned' Chief was detailed for ex purposes to do something dramatic. He took an axe to a pod on a Victor and tried to chop it in half! SEngO went apoplectic - the Chief had had a u/s end of life pod fitted before the ex, but SEngO was the last to know!
With regards to bang seats - no V-force rear crew had them. The only time I was involved in a real Mayday I was sitting on a 'whoopee' cushion in a Victor. The last few hundred feet were the most worrying - as said above, you need a fair bit of height to get out of the back of a V aircraft (1500' rings a bell).
Then there was the occasion at Gutersloh when somebody deflated the bouncy castle at a Summer Ball - unfortunately the airborne officer leaping off the Feuhrer Balkon hit the ground hard.
We also had the 'pod' chopping incident on exercise at Marham. A 'disillusioned' Chief was detailed for ex purposes to do something dramatic. He took an axe to a pod on a Victor and tried to chop it in half! SEngO went apoplectic - the Chief had had a u/s end of life pod fitted before the ex, but SEngO was the last to know!
With regards to bang seats - no V-force rear crew had them. The only time I was involved in a real Mayday I was sitting on a 'whoopee' cushion in a Victor. The last few hundred feet were the most worrying - as said above, you need a fair bit of height to get out of the back of a V aircraft (1500' rings a bell).
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I wasn’t there, so any witnesses correct me if I’m incorrect, but this dining-in was at Marham during the ‘80s, when the resident units were 27 Sqn, 55 Sqn and 617 Sqn. You can imagine the constant rivalry/banter between the younger Tornado boys and the older and wiser Victor crews; rivalry which came to the fore at dining-in nights. On this occasion, as was usual, each sqn occupied its own leg to the top table, with the blunties occupying a 4th leg. As the evening went on, the banter and insults flew as they always did. Inevitably, the Tornado boys started shouting that all Victor crews were old/weak/knackered/past-it etc. In response 55 Sqn replied that anything the Tornado sqns could do, they could do better. Out of nowhere, 55 Sqn produced a lumberjack’s saw. This was one of the huge old-fashioned saws – the one’s that are 10 feet long, and need a person at each end. 55 Sqn cleared the mess table that they had been sitting around until a few seconds before, and started sawing the mess table in half!! With a couple of sweating Victor aircrew at each end of the saw, it was still hard work to saw through the big table, but with the rest of 55 Sqn behind them, and the astonished Tornado crews looking on, eventually the formerly-gleaming mess table fell to the floor in two pieces. After a short stunned silence, one of the Tornado sqns decided that it had to prove that it was of course still younger/stronger/quicker than 55 Sqn. So a couple of Tornado aircrew picked up the saw, and attacked their own mess table. By now the dining-room was in uproar. After a huge effort, they managed to cut up their own table in slightly less time than it had taken 55 Sqn. Next, the second Tornado sqn took the saw and cut its own table in half, again, in only a few seconds. So now the dining-room furniture had been almost demolished, with three of the finest mess tables lying on the carpet in pieces.
Of course, the next morning, the senior representative from the three sqns were summoned before the Stn Cdr, where inevitably they would each be presented with a large mess bill for one replacement table. Fair cop. Once inside the CO’s office, the 27 Sqn and 617 Sqn representatives looked at each other, and then they looked at the CO, and said “Why isn’t 55 Sqn here?” The CO replied “55 Sqn isn’t here because the table they destroyed last night didn’t belong to the Mess, it was a second-hand table that they had bought the week before.”
Of course, the next morning, the senior representative from the three sqns were summoned before the Stn Cdr, where inevitably they would each be presented with a large mess bill for one replacement table. Fair cop. Once inside the CO’s office, the 27 Sqn and 617 Sqn representatives looked at each other, and then they looked at the CO, and said “Why isn’t 55 Sqn here?” The CO replied “55 Sqn isn’t here because the table they destroyed last night didn’t belong to the Mess, it was a second-hand table that they had bought the week before.”
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Reminds me of the story of an Oktoberfest in the 1980's at Gutersloh when a log-sawing contest was arranged in advance. The Harrier boys (3 & 4 sqns) were determined to win and so their teams were practising for days before. Come the night, they were raring to go except 230 sqn who appeared not to have organised a team at all. The moment came and suddenly over the sounds of the grunting and groaning of the jet jocks came the strident note of a high speed 2 stroke engined chainsaw....
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Always wear a seat belt!
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Always wear a seat belt!
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Possibly apocryphal - the junior officers who painted a scrap Mini to look like the Sqn boss' Mini.
At dining-in night the 'men' removed the Wg Co's Mini and winched the scrap one on to the Mess roof. At an appropriate moment Wg Co was summoned by panicked Mess staff who took him outside to witness his Mini being thrown from the Mess roof by his drunken subordinates.
Flattered/disturbed by above 'sawing' stories as I served on both 55 and 230 Sqns. I, of course, would never get involved in such things. Did you hear about when 230 Sqn painted 18 Sqns 'jeep' in Tiger stripes? Or did you hear about the 230 Sqn dining night when the Mess manager presented the outgoing Wg Co's wife with a silver soup tureen which contained a coiled sleeping boa constrictor (her biggest fear was snakes)?
At dining-in night the 'men' removed the Wg Co's Mini and winched the scrap one on to the Mess roof. At an appropriate moment Wg Co was summoned by panicked Mess staff who took him outside to witness his Mini being thrown from the Mess roof by his drunken subordinates.
Flattered/disturbed by above 'sawing' stories as I served on both 55 and 230 Sqns. I, of course, would never get involved in such things. Did you hear about when 230 Sqn painted 18 Sqns 'jeep' in Tiger stripes? Or did you hear about the 230 Sqn dining night when the Mess manager presented the outgoing Wg Co's wife with a silver soup tureen which contained a coiled sleeping boa constrictor (her biggest fear was snakes)?
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Reminds me of a story an old (and bold) flying instructor told me ...
Following a dining in night, an officer ended up in hospital. The medical report read -
"I was standing on the mantle piece in the ante-room, enjoying a beer, when I fell off, and was hit by a motorbike, which broke my leg ...'
Don't get them like that now (except for the 48 hour Oktoberfest at RAF Bruggen in 1989 ...)
Following a dining in night, an officer ended up in hospital. The medical report read -
"I was standing on the mantle piece in the ante-room, enjoying a beer, when I fell off, and was hit by a motorbike, which broke my leg ...'
Don't get them like that now (except for the 48 hour Oktoberfest at RAF Bruggen in 1989 ...)
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It's nice to hear of accounts of old, when antics were seemingly encouraged.
These days, it is deemed foolhardy and unbelievable that someone would go as far as drilling a hole in a wine glass etc etc
P1ssed myself laughing at an Aldergrove DI when a remote controlled water canon soaked the never regions of OC Blunties' groin during his speech:-)
Remember, in the modern air force,
A pat on the back is a recce for a stab!
These days, it is deemed foolhardy and unbelievable that someone would go as far as drilling a hole in a wine glass etc etc
P1ssed myself laughing at an Aldergrove DI when a remote controlled water canon soaked the never regions of OC Blunties' groin during his speech:-)
Remember, in the modern air force,
A pat on the back is a recce for a stab!
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Dining in many years ago.
Chap called Dai *******-***** spent hours drilling tiny holes in dining room tables. Emptied flower vases. Filled flower vases with small detonators, explosive charges and pounds of self-raising flower. Replaced flowers. Ran tiny wires through holes in dining room tables to a battery under the table where he was sitting.
"Gentlemen - the Queen"
"The Queen"
KA-BOOM
Whole room IMC with 2 yards vis in flower.
Outstanding.
Chances of getting away with that now???
Answers on a postage stamp please.
Chap called Dai *******-***** spent hours drilling tiny holes in dining room tables. Emptied flower vases. Filled flower vases with small detonators, explosive charges and pounds of self-raising flower. Replaced flowers. Ran tiny wires through holes in dining room tables to a battery under the table where he was sitting.
"Gentlemen - the Queen"
"The Queen"
KA-BOOM
Whole room IMC with 2 yards vis in flower.
Outstanding.
Chances of getting away with that now???
Answers on a postage stamp please.
Guest
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Or a couple of car stories then..?
NATO Tiger meet at USAF Bitburg in 1981. On the Saturday evening the hosts put on an excellent review on the raised stage of the Officers' Club (including a brilliantly funny rendition of Swan Lake with a talented cast of hairy aircrew dancers dressed in aircrew long underwear, tutus and flying boots).
After the finale, it was decided to put a Tiger striped VW Beetle on the stage and try to break the world record for the number of people in and upon it. Said vehicle was driven around to the double external doors at the end of the stage. Minor problem was that the stage was raised 4 feet above the road outside. A large number of well oiled aircrew lifted the car only to find that it was too wide to fit through the doors. Rolling the car through 90 right solved that problem and the record attempt was soon under way. Things were going well until there was a loud BANG and the car dropped through the wooden stage floor up to its axles. Attempt declared DPCO and we all went to bed.
Prior to departure the following afternoon, as we were loading our kit onto the aircraft a desperate Officers' Club manager (who had only just found the wreckage of the previous evening's fun) was seen running from aircraft to aircraft pleading for advice on how to extricate the car from his club. To this day, I have no idea how they removed it!
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A good few years ago the Puma had an ongoing problem with the sliding cabin doors falling off.
Various solutions had been tried and failed. Eventually OC Eng decided that enough was enough. One Friday, prior to "happy hour", he announced his new "fix". He decreed that all doors would be removed until further notice as the aircraft was cleared for flight with the doors removed!!
Winter was approaching and the station had a detachment in Norway...140 kts, minus 30 degrees and no doors - lovely.
To show him how much his engineering and human consideration was appreciated by the aircrew, during "happy hour" both doors of his station Mini mysteriously disappeared...
NATO Tiger meet at USAF Bitburg in 1981. On the Saturday evening the hosts put on an excellent review on the raised stage of the Officers' Club (including a brilliantly funny rendition of Swan Lake with a talented cast of hairy aircrew dancers dressed in aircrew long underwear, tutus and flying boots).
After the finale, it was decided to put a Tiger striped VW Beetle on the stage and try to break the world record for the number of people in and upon it. Said vehicle was driven around to the double external doors at the end of the stage. Minor problem was that the stage was raised 4 feet above the road outside. A large number of well oiled aircrew lifted the car only to find that it was too wide to fit through the doors. Rolling the car through 90 right solved that problem and the record attempt was soon under way. Things were going well until there was a loud BANG and the car dropped through the wooden stage floor up to its axles. Attempt declared DPCO and we all went to bed.
Prior to departure the following afternoon, as we were loading our kit onto the aircraft a desperate Officers' Club manager (who had only just found the wreckage of the previous evening's fun) was seen running from aircraft to aircraft pleading for advice on how to extricate the car from his club. To this day, I have no idea how they removed it!
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A good few years ago the Puma had an ongoing problem with the sliding cabin doors falling off.
Various solutions had been tried and failed. Eventually OC Eng decided that enough was enough. One Friday, prior to "happy hour", he announced his new "fix". He decreed that all doors would be removed until further notice as the aircraft was cleared for flight with the doors removed!!
Winter was approaching and the station had a detachment in Norway...140 kts, minus 30 degrees and no doors - lovely.
To show him how much his engineering and human consideration was appreciated by the aircrew, during "happy hour" both doors of his station Mini mysteriously disappeared...
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Samsonyte
An ex-girlfriend's father was a sqn/stn cmdr (I can't remember which) at a Vulcan base near Lincoln in the late 70's He certainly broke a leg whilst 'enjoying a beer on the ante room mantlepiece after a Dinner Night'. They were trying to circumnavigate the room without touching the floor, as you do.
I was staying with them at the time and I remember him being brought home in plaster. We didn't hear about a motorbike, but that certainly doesn't mean it wasn't there! He wasn't terribly forthcoming about what happened!
An ex-girlfriend's father was a sqn/stn cmdr (I can't remember which) at a Vulcan base near Lincoln in the late 70's He certainly broke a leg whilst 'enjoying a beer on the ante room mantlepiece after a Dinner Night'. They were trying to circumnavigate the room without touching the floor, as you do.
I was staying with them at the time and I remember him being brought home in plaster. We didn't hear about a motorbike, but that certainly doesn't mean it wasn't there! He wasn't terribly forthcoming about what happened!