Good RAF Army Banter/Jokes
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BL beat me to it - a fine publication to while away those hours at the Gateway:
LAUGH WITH THE AIR FORCE £1.50 book
G
LAUGH WITH THE AIR FORCE £1.50 book
G
"Sir" to sergeants?
Foot Guards colour-sergeants are thus addressed by their juniors.
Foot Guards colour-sergeants are thus addressed by their juniors.
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The RAF never ever ever flew the Wessex in Brunei or Borneo.??
Perhaps it was Hong Kong? Or was it Singapore? No, I got it it was Cyprus? Or was it, let me think....
If we're taking this seriously, I'm outa here.
Before I go, All the people telling pompous army officer stories? Is all your experience from 1950's war films.....
Perhaps it was Hong Kong? Or was it Singapore? No, I got it it was Cyprus? Or was it, let me think....
If we're taking this seriously, I'm outa here.
Before I go, All the people telling pompous army officer stories? Is all your experience from 1950's war films.....
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I seem to remember a RAF Wessex tasked to lift a Portacabin up a hill in Ireland for the Army, having worked it all out they figured with a reduced fuel load the lift was on, just.
Portacabin was all rigged and ready to go, on the day off the lift they tried and couldn't shift it, landing on they found the RSM or whatever, had thought.... hmmm if the RAF are shifting this for us, they could also take this this and this, so had filled the said Portacabin to the roof with furniture....
Remember the 72 Sqn Christmas Tree incident?
Boslandew ignore it...
Portacabin was all rigged and ready to go, on the day off the lift they tried and couldn't shift it, landing on they found the RSM or whatever, had thought.... hmmm if the RAF are shifting this for us, they could also take this this and this, so had filled the said Portacabin to the roof with furniture....
Remember the 72 Sqn Christmas Tree incident?
Boslandew ignore it...
Red On, Green On
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Pere Artist was at the time of this story working in the dark blue bit of MoD with the rank of Commander. He went to a meeting with some green jobs in the green bit and left behind his fountain pen at the end of the meeting.
A day or so later a green job WO rang him. "You left your pen behind after your meeting with Colonel Green, Sir, so I brought it to your office earlier today. You were out, so I left it with your assistant Captain Smith."
A day or so later a green job WO rang him. "You left your pen behind after your meeting with Colonel Green, Sir, so I brought it to your office earlier today. You were out, so I left it with your assistant Captain Smith."
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Mate of mine (pilot in the AAC) attended our Summer Ball, he was spotted by harry stash who bounded over and bantered 'if you wanted to be a proper pilot you should've joined the RAF'
Quick as a flash he replied 'you're right sir but I'd rather be a proper officer'.
Quick as a flash he replied 'you're right sir but I'd rather be a proper officer'.
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
Given the French joke above here is a variation:
An aircraft was carrying three golfers, comprising an Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Algerian. An hour into the trip the pilot comes into the cabin and says that the aircraft is losing height and all loose articles etc must be thrown overboard.
After a moment the Englishman opens the door and throws out his golf clubs and says God Save the Queen. but the pilot returns and says that an engine has failed and somebody will have to make the ultimate sacrifice the Algerian opens the door, throws out his clubs and says Allah be praised.
but the pilot returns and says the aircraft is still descending and more weight must be saved. The Frenchman stands up, goes to the door, turns and says: “Viva La France”, and throws the Algerian out.
After a moment the Englishman opens the door and throws out his golf clubs and says God Save the Queen. but the pilot returns and says that an engine has failed and somebody will have to make the ultimate sacrifice the Algerian opens the door, throws out his clubs and says Allah be praised.
but the pilot returns and says the aircraft is still descending and more weight must be saved. The Frenchman stands up, goes to the door, turns and says: “Viva La France”, and throws the Algerian out.
I have a copy of 'LAUGH WITH THE AIR FORCE' which I purchased at the Fleet Air Arm Museum . . .
Hers is a true Army story with an aeronautical bent
An Uncle of mine was CO of the 9th Bn The Parachute Regiment sometime in the 1950's. At that time the Regimental Mascot was a Chimpanzee. Some bright spark decided that, being the Parachute Regiment, the Ape has best earn his Red Beret by joining the troops on a jump.
The plan duly agreed said ape was trussed into a parachute harness and taken airborne in (I think) a Dakota. The ape was duly thrown out on a static line - followed by his keeper. The assembled audience on the landing ground watch expectantly as the parachute deployed and the ape assumed the perfect position - legs astride and arms holding the rigging whilst he scanned around. Problem solved! Down came the ape with all going very well until . . .
Said ape looked down and saw the ground rising up to meet him . . . Clearly thinking with the most basic parts of the monkey brain said ape chose the obvious way out of the situation - and climbed back up the rigging !
Hers is a true Army story with an aeronautical bent
An Uncle of mine was CO of the 9th Bn The Parachute Regiment sometime in the 1950's. At that time the Regimental Mascot was a Chimpanzee. Some bright spark decided that, being the Parachute Regiment, the Ape has best earn his Red Beret by joining the troops on a jump.
The plan duly agreed said ape was trussed into a parachute harness and taken airborne in (I think) a Dakota. The ape was duly thrown out on a static line - followed by his keeper. The assembled audience on the landing ground watch expectantly as the parachute deployed and the ape assumed the perfect position - legs astride and arms holding the rigging whilst he scanned around. Problem solved! Down came the ape with all going very well until . . .
Said ape looked down and saw the ground rising up to meet him . . . Clearly thinking with the most basic parts of the monkey brain said ape chose the obvious way out of the situation - and climbed back up the rigging !
Last edited by Spartacan; 8th Oct 2011 at 19:36.
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The army can't spell. They spell Joint: A-R-M-Y.
sad but true.
sad but true.
Meanwhile the other services continue to snigger at you.
Do carry on chaps...
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Not at all.
I'm sitting on a balcony overlooking the Gulf of Mexico reading this thread, beer in hand, reflecting on life in general, and the choices I made ealier in life (ie Army, paid attention at school).
Banter's all well and good, but there seems to be some line of thought here that the RAF has some kind of intellectual superiority, if I can call it that. Granted there's some real thick t**ts in the Army, and some prize d**ks in the officer corps, but it's the same in the air force, and probably worse in the Navy.
The fact is though, the RAF's been sold down the river by its frankly naive leadership and know-nothing politicians. It's now merely a third of the size of the Army, has a handful of bases and sod all equipment. Worse, over the years, lots of RAF airfields are now, or will be, Army barracks. Abingdon, Wattisham, Dishforth, Colerne, Waterbeach, Woodbridge, Leconfield, Brueggen, Gutersloh, Tern Hill, St Athan, Topcliffe, Leuchars, Kinloss, North Luffenham etc.
I'm just not seeing the intellectual superiority. No big deal, no nerve hit, but just a bit puzzling.
Back to the beer
I'm sitting on a balcony overlooking the Gulf of Mexico reading this thread, beer in hand, reflecting on life in general, and the choices I made ealier in life (ie Army, paid attention at school).
Banter's all well and good, but there seems to be some line of thought here that the RAF has some kind of intellectual superiority, if I can call it that. Granted there's some real thick t**ts in the Army, and some prize d**ks in the officer corps, but it's the same in the air force, and probably worse in the Navy.
The fact is though, the RAF's been sold down the river by its frankly naive leadership and know-nothing politicians. It's now merely a third of the size of the Army, has a handful of bases and sod all equipment. Worse, over the years, lots of RAF airfields are now, or will be, Army barracks. Abingdon, Wattisham, Dishforth, Colerne, Waterbeach, Woodbridge, Leconfield, Brueggen, Gutersloh, Tern Hill, St Athan, Topcliffe, Leuchars, Kinloss, North Luffenham etc.
I'm just not seeing the intellectual superiority. No big deal, no nerve hit, but just a bit puzzling.
Back to the beer
Originally Posted by mini
This is going to be good
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"An Uncle of mine was CO of the 9th Bn The Parachute Regiment sometime in the 1950'"
From Wikidpaedia:
"The 9th (Eastern and Home Counties) Parachute Battalion was an airborne infantry battalion of the Parachute Regiment, raised by the British Army during the Second World War. Formed by the conversion of the 10th Battalion, Essex Regiment to parachute duties.....
"After the war the battalion was sent to Palestine on internal security operations with the 6th Airborne Division. Post-war army reductions in 1948 saw the battalion being amalgamated with the 8th Parachute Battalion as the 8th/9th Parachute Battalion, but by the end of the year the new battalion had been disbanded"
Story sounds like Horlicks
From Wikidpaedia:
"The 9th (Eastern and Home Counties) Parachute Battalion was an airborne infantry battalion of the Parachute Regiment, raised by the British Army during the Second World War. Formed by the conversion of the 10th Battalion, Essex Regiment to parachute duties.....
"After the war the battalion was sent to Palestine on internal security operations with the 6th Airborne Division. Post-war army reductions in 1948 saw the battalion being amalgamated with the 8th Parachute Battalion as the 8th/9th Parachute Battalion, but by the end of the year the new battalion had been disbanded"
Story sounds like Horlicks