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Military Aviation A forum for the professionals who fly military hardware. Also for the backroom boys and girls who support the flying and maintain the equipment, and without whom nothing would ever leave the ground. All armies, navies and air forces of the world equally welcome here.


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Old 12th Nov 2010, 04:56   #9981 (permalink)
Drain Bamaged
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Canada
Age: 47
Posts: 293
Aaaaaahhh....Busting my umbrella again with your fart Marge!
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Old 12th Nov 2010, 07:29   #9982 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: West Africa
Posts: 664


"Mission accompli.......oh gawd dang"

P1
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Old 13th Nov 2010, 09:27   #9983 (permalink)

Evertonian
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Ppruner of the Year Nominee 2005
Posts: 6,737
I think we can wind this one up...

3rd place: Toptobottom
Whooaaa Laura!! I know that beef stroganoff was a bit rich, but really..!

2nd place: Finely chopped
Vladimir: "If he thinks that's an anti-ballistic missile shield, there's nothing to worry about."

1st place: Rather be Gardening
Although Putin's staffers had persuaded President Bush to venture outside without his tinfoil helmet, they hadn't been able to wrestle the 'alien-deflector umbrella' from him.

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Old 13th Nov 2010, 10:16   #9984 (permalink)
Stargazing
 
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Location: West
Posts: 413
Thanks, Buster!

Let's see, how about this one?

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Old 13th Nov 2010, 11:56   #9985 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne
Age: 45
Posts: 794
Imagine how badly it would fit if your tits were THIS big!
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Old 13th Nov 2010, 12:10   #9986 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Somewhere near Oxford
Posts: 834
Boris Johnson's new Equality and Diversity Roadshow hits the streets for the first time.
Unfortunately PC Norton was still trying to re-schedule his stylist appointment.
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Old 13th Nov 2010, 14:40   #9987 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: these mist covered mountains are a home now for me.
Posts: 1,505
"WPC Smith, you still haven't quite come to grips with being an Undercover Police Officer."
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Old 13th Nov 2010, 14:58   #9988 (permalink)

Evertonian
 
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Location: Ppruner of the Year Nominee 2005
Posts: 6,737
"I meant no disrespect Ma'am...Slapper is a term of endearment down here."
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Old 13th Nov 2010, 15:58   #9989 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: West Africa
Posts: 664
"No Ma'am, we're much better off here than at Millbank House"

P1
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Old 13th Nov 2010, 16:04   #9990 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: West Africa
Posts: 664
"....and so when I saw the fire extinguisher, I just stretched out my arms, and caught it without a second thought, but I don't want any fuss"

P1
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Old 13th Nov 2010, 18:19   #9991 (permalink)

Avoid imitations
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Wandering in hyperspace and the FIR
Posts: 9,359
"PC Smith to control....the two escapees from the asylum...yes, the one pretending to be a government minister and the one impersonating a police officer carrying a large invisible goldfish bowl... we're right behind them now; standby!"
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Old 13th Nov 2010, 20:16   #9992 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: EGCC
Posts: 13
"Yes Ma'am, it IS true what they say about black men... that's why we asked you to wear the vest and leave your handbag behind"
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Old 13th Nov 2010, 20:51   #9993 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: One Three Seven, Disco Heaven.
Age: 55
Posts: 622
With a smirk on his face, Special Constable William Hague approaches Harriet, to give her the bad news. Yes your arse does look big in that.
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Old 13th Nov 2010, 22:22   #9994 (permalink)

Evertonian
 
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Location: Ppruner of the Year Nominee 2005
Posts: 6,737
"Spot on Ma'am. It is all about the width. I find this usually suffices..."
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Old 14th Nov 2010, 05:48   #9995 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: The Land of Beer and Chocolate
Age: 46
Posts: 766
"Well, ma'am, we gave you the stab-proof vest even though there's no chance of anyone attacking you with a knife because it's lighter, more flexible, and we paid "Wee Jimmy the Nutter" to shoot you"............
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Old 14th Nov 2010, 09:54   #9996 (permalink)
 
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Location: UK
Posts: 485
How big does my bum look iin this outfit?
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Old 14th Nov 2010, 10:06   #9997 (permalink)
Red On, Green On
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Between the woods and the water
Age: 15
Posts: 6,425
We've been particularly successful in working with Environmental Services to eradicate all the ginger rodents. One of them was this big.
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Old 14th Nov 2010, 12:05   #9998 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Alton Hants
Age: 80
Posts: 75
Harpie

Not meant to be funny , just an observation.
I thought it was illegal for a civilian to wear police uniform and so impersonate a police officer. A lawyer should know better.
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Old 14th Nov 2010, 12:08   #9999 (permalink)

Evertonian
 
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Posts: 6,737
This imaginary box of morale is getting heavy Ma'am...
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Old 14th Nov 2010, 15:47   #10000 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Where the wild things are
Age: 43
Posts: 25
"I am sorry madam Home Secretary but as part of your Government's cost cutting measures, your new security detail will be cut down to one Superintendent and two PCs - but on the bright side you do get to wear one of our fetching new stab vests!"
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