TACEVAL stories
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TACEVAL stories
During the Cold War a solid air defence backed by a superior QRA was the universal holy grail for the RAF; closely followed by a good TACEVAL result.
TACEVAL was a serious business, run by ultimately powerful guys up at Group HQ, but a lot of funny, outrageous and just plain weird stuff happened during TACEVALs; both pre and post the HAS era.
I was in a hangar (pre-HAS) when the hangar was reported (exercise only) to have taken 2 mortar round hits. The IRT were informed and the station emergency response (including medics) swung into action.
A Cpl medic knelt down next to one of the"casualties", pinched his ear lobe and said "can you hear me". Casualty (overacting) groaned and tried to sit up, medic leant over to restrain him.
Medics heavy steel helmet (before we had plastic ones)fell off his head as it was going down and collided with casualty's head as it was coming up.
Resulted in a proper (NODUFF) concussion. NODUFF ambulance summoned and (now real) casualty whisked off to nearest NHS A&E dept.
His treatment was confused, at first, because the A&E found a piece of paper in his hand which said " broken leg and multiple contusions".
Happily he was back at work within a fortnight.
Any TACEVAL stories welcome.
Rgds SOS
TACEVAL was a serious business, run by ultimately powerful guys up at Group HQ, but a lot of funny, outrageous and just plain weird stuff happened during TACEVALs; both pre and post the HAS era.
I was in a hangar (pre-HAS) when the hangar was reported (exercise only) to have taken 2 mortar round hits. The IRT were informed and the station emergency response (including medics) swung into action.
A Cpl medic knelt down next to one of the"casualties", pinched his ear lobe and said "can you hear me". Casualty (overacting) groaned and tried to sit up, medic leant over to restrain him.
Medics heavy steel helmet (before we had plastic ones)fell off his head as it was going down and collided with casualty's head as it was coming up.
Resulted in a proper (NODUFF) concussion. NODUFF ambulance summoned and (now real) casualty whisked off to nearest NHS A&E dept.
His treatment was confused, at first, because the A&E found a piece of paper in his hand which said " broken leg and multiple contusions".
Happily he was back at work within a fortnight.
Any TACEVAL stories welcome.
Rgds SOS
Last edited by SOSL; 2nd Aug 2013 at 11:33. Reason: Spaces
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At a certain F3 base (no names), first hour of TACEVAL, one of the 'umpires' in the WOC was in a bit of a flap. He'd left some paperwork behind. He'd borrowed a copy of one of his fellow 'umpires' and collared one of my SAC's to photocopy the lot.
Usual paperwork dross, then pure gold. A complete breakdown of every 'inject' and 'stunt' the TACEVAL Team planned. When, where, timings, the lot. Pure gold.
I'd like to say my SAC didn't decide to make an extra copy. But .........
Forewarned is forearmed, as the saying goes.
We passed with flying colours.
We also passed the next couple of TACEVAL's when we didn't have prior knowledge.
Usual paperwork dross, then pure gold. A complete breakdown of every 'inject' and 'stunt' the TACEVAL Team planned. When, where, timings, the lot. Pure gold.
I'd like to say my SAC didn't decide to make an extra copy. But .........
Forewarned is forearmed, as the saying goes.
We passed with flying colours.
We also passed the next couple of TACEVAL's when we didn't have prior knowledge.
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By the 4th morning of a TACEVAL at Marham the fleet had been generated to strike missions, when the signal came to the Ops room to launch. Tensions rose and people started opening blisters. A moment before the strike controller started hit set piece of releasing and authenticating, a Chief from Eng Ops got up from his seat at the front and noticeably caught everybody's eye when he walked from left to right across the very front of the tote boards. Odd timing to go for a wander was the general opinion.
Ten minutes later the finale still hadn't started; enter Chief again, following reverse route, only this time carrying a large paper plate stacked with food. Watched by the Stn Cdr and his senior battle staff, he sits down and starts tucking in, until fellow Eng WO is seen to lean towards him and says something like 'wtf are you doing'? Slight pause, then situation dawns on Chief, who says out loudly, "I thought he said it was a mass lunch!"
Ten minutes later the finale still hadn't started; enter Chief again, following reverse route, only this time carrying a large paper plate stacked with food. Watched by the Stn Cdr and his senior battle staff, he sits down and starts tucking in, until fellow Eng WO is seen to lean towards him and says something like 'wtf are you doing'? Slight pause, then situation dawns on Chief, who says out loudly, "I thought he said it was a mass lunch!"
Bruggen late 70's middle of TACEVAL.
Erstwhile Sqn Ldr Ops (no names but had just become a grandfather) on station tannoy:
Hoots from our PBF.
Erstwhile Sqn Ldr Ops (no names but had just become a grandfather) on station tannoy:
"This is a no duff message - I am a grandfather"
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Bruggen, early Eighties, at the end of a TACEVAL and on broadcaster's retirement:
"Standby for broadcast. This is the COC ......... and this is the sound of Champagne (sound of Champers being poured into glass follows). End of broadcast"!
"Standby for broadcast. This is the COC ......... and this is the sound of Champagne (sound of Champers being poured into glass follows). End of broadcast"!
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I hope the Statute of Limitations has run out on this one.
Scottish Buccaneer base. 20 minutes into TACEVAL, self and oppo 'hit' by IED outside ATC. Carted off to Casualty Clearing where we are pronounced DOA.
Told by Umpire to 'Bugger off' and keep out of the way. None of this 'you're dead but alive again in 12 hours' nonsense.
Now, not wanting to hang around the mess (we both lived in) for the next 4 days with all the nause of being stopped and searched everytime we ventured out (plus the fact the bar was closed), my oppo had a plan.
We sort of knew where the Team were staying, a Hotel about 10 miles away, so we chanced it and booked ourselves in as part of the 'RAF Booking'. 'No problem' says the Receptionist. So for the next 3 nights we shared a twin room, ate and drank quite well and disappeared on the morning of the 4th day leaving the Taceval Team Leader to settle the bill.
Scottish Buccaneer base. 20 minutes into TACEVAL, self and oppo 'hit' by IED outside ATC. Carted off to Casualty Clearing where we are pronounced DOA.
Told by Umpire to 'Bugger off' and keep out of the way. None of this 'you're dead but alive again in 12 hours' nonsense.
Now, not wanting to hang around the mess (we both lived in) for the next 4 days with all the nause of being stopped and searched everytime we ventured out (plus the fact the bar was closed), my oppo had a plan.
We sort of knew where the Team were staying, a Hotel about 10 miles away, so we chanced it and booked ourselves in as part of the 'RAF Booking'. 'No problem' says the Receptionist. So for the next 3 nights we shared a twin room, ate and drank quite well and disappeared on the morning of the 4th day leaving the Taceval Team Leader to settle the bill.
Last edited by taxydual; 2nd Aug 2013 at 16:53. Reason: Spelling Statute, not Stature
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TD, Brilliant!
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Suffolk Buccaneer base and first TACEVAL after we got the fleet back airborne again and the rusty bits were definitely showing.
The rusty bits were pointed out by the TACEVAL team at the debrief at which point the Staish (Good on yer Mike) said something along the lines of "Yeah, well if it was real war we'd do OK so don't worry about this stuff".
It was probably a career shortener but boy oh boy did we appreciate it.
The rusty bits were pointed out by the TACEVAL team at the debrief at which point the Staish (Good on yer Mike) said something along the lines of "Yeah, well if it was real war we'd do OK so don't worry about this stuff".
It was probably a career shortener but boy oh boy did we appreciate it.
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Gutersloh sometime in the 80s. The inject was that an air traffic controller had lost his marbles, had taken a hostage and was gibbering ENDEX on the station tannoy. The ATC supervisor went upstairs to notionally talk to the controller. In classic Indiana Jones fashion, the ATC supervisor got to the top of the stairs pulled-out his pistol and shot the controller without stopping for a single breath. The TACEVAL man was most un-amused.
Gen Shan Hackett (he of Arnhem fame) wrote a book called ISTR "World War Three". Middle of a station exercise, Duty Exec was looking a bit lost, and asked generally "Well, where are we then?" Someone threw him copy of Shan Hackett's book and quoted a page number - "We are about there" said the thrower of the book.
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The most surreal TACEVAL I was part of was at Northolt in the late '80s. Clearly an attempt to 'get in on the act' the base decided to have a Stn Exercise utilising one of the worst 'ops rooms' I'd ever witnessed. Sat inside, no windows, if you turned the lights out you could see daylight through the myriad of holes. NBC proof it was not! The bizzare dreamlike world that was Northolt continued with the entire command chain having regular 'NAAFI breaks' over at the Officers Mess (just behind the 'COC') thus leaving the entire station 'headless'. Still, at least we had an over enthusiastic first tour baby Plod who would deal with each and every incident single handedly. Phone rings....handset snatched by said Plod.....brief discussion resulting in Fed leaping to his feet, drawing his Browning, cocking it whilst shouting 'I'll deal with this!' and then rushing from the room....
My Teceval/Minival stories are either of Aunty Joan at that Norfolk radar station, and of DC of B......k, for whom a certain record was requested on Radio Lincolnshire by the Lineys.
Aunty Joan first -
Ordered by my new station commander to appear 3v weeks before posting, with my new but unentitled at that stage rank badges, for a station exercise (she had of course cleared it with Robby Robson) in which I was to be Ground Defence Commander. My predecessor gave me a 10 minute brief and disappeared not to return that day, and I was "in the chair". An hour later a call came in for an exercise fire at the Tx station (near Stalham about 5 miles away Putting all I had learned "on the hill" into effect, I reckoned CPX fire, off site, CPX civilian fire brigade. Five minutes later I met my new station commander - she swept into the GDCC, fag going, hair streaming - "Squadron Leader, when there is a fire on my station, it has flames coming from it. Send a real fire engine - NOW".
I got a gentle revenge later - 1800 briefing - fighter controllers had spoken of thing of which I knew nothing, then I was up for the Ground Defence brief. "Station Commander, ladies and gentlemen,. So far I have not understood a word. I hope I can do better". Roar of laughter, led by CO. I knew this was going to be a "good" tour.
Aunty Joan first -
Ordered by my new station commander to appear 3v weeks before posting, with my new but unentitled at that stage rank badges, for a station exercise (she had of course cleared it with Robby Robson) in which I was to be Ground Defence Commander. My predecessor gave me a 10 minute brief and disappeared not to return that day, and I was "in the chair". An hour later a call came in for an exercise fire at the Tx station (near Stalham about 5 miles away Putting all I had learned "on the hill" into effect, I reckoned CPX fire, off site, CPX civilian fire brigade. Five minutes later I met my new station commander - she swept into the GDCC, fag going, hair streaming - "Squadron Leader, when there is a fire on my station, it has flames coming from it. Send a real fire engine - NOW".
I got a gentle revenge later - 1800 briefing - fighter controllers had spoken of thing of which I knew nothing, then I was up for the Ground Defence brief. "Station Commander, ladies and gentlemen,. So far I have not understood a word. I hope I can do better". Roar of laughter, led by CO. I knew this was going to be a "good" tour.
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TACEVAL Bruggen, seeing off a Jag TBird with an evaluator in the rear seat, for some reason there was only a couple of us in the HAS and I was sitting on the ducting in view and on intercom, but with full NBC kit on during NBC black I had fallen asleep.... The call comes through to go and I'm fast asleep sitting with my respirator on you couldn't tell, pilot is going frantic trying to wave at me and shouting down the intercom without letting the evaluator in the back realise anything is amiss..... Then for some reason I nod and the weight of the helmet wakes me... Afterwards pilot tells me he was considering throwing the contents of the cockpit at me when the rear seater was looking the other way 
Pre Christmas joint party with ATC just down the A1 from Wittering. All the controllers start leaving at about 11pm. Boring old farts we thought and 'partied on'. Then back to the MQ for a wee dram. About an hour after we called it a night the hooter went off... Not good.
When I was at N......head, in MQ that had once been RAF Horsham St Faith, guy across the road had a 3 year old who whenever the hooter went was out there to see daddy off, wearing his camo PJs, plastic helmet and armed to the teeth. Can see him now. Would be about 30 now, wonder if he joined up.
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