Military AircrewA forum for the professionals who fly the non-civilian hardware, and the backroom boys and girls without whom nothing would leave the ground. Army, Navy and Airforces of the World, all equally welcome here.
It did talk back (if it judders, use the rudders) but some numpties still ignored it. I did witness a rapid, oscillating, rotating descent (also known as a spin) due to some aileron input at high AoA and low speed. Said jet eventually made a recovery without popping the 'chute. Said driver received a very hard kick up the arse on dismount.
Words written by staff nav Jim McRoberts, I think about 1971. Original music was written by Joan Collins and called "Both sides now."
One of Jim's sage Scottish sayings was:
"Flying's perfectly safe as long as you remember it's dangerous."
I think there is a misprint in your post. Joni Mitchel wrote the words and music, Judi Collins had a hit with it initially, and Joan Collins sufffered from Leonard Rossiter-induced CAT when flying.....
Does anybody have any good examples of Phantom songs worth posting? It was great fun taking the p!** at H-hour.
There was one particuler series of events at Leuchars: a wheels up roller (spectacular - I was 100 yards away), accidental CL tank jettison, mid-air heavy petting with a canberra (night ECM) resulting in loss of tip tank. All of these were included in a song penned (I think) by Simpo and put to the tune of Four Wheels on My Wagon (no wheels on my Phantom, when there ought to be 3 etc). We ended up in a bit of a scuffle when some felt it was a bit too cutting.
Shame the F 4-1 culture is so dull - they can't even remember general banter stuff like "If I was a Jag Mate", "Don't Bend Down.." etc.
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The Jag mate saga started, so rumour hath it, during a 31 Sqn Cyprus det. It seems that someone with a bit too much Kokkinelli aboard swayed back to the blocks, mis-ID'd his pit and climbed into the wrong bed. Which was already occupied by the rightful snoozer...
This was before Pink Wednesday when poovery was most definitely a chucking-out offence in the mil. So the saga became more and more colourful as time went by and the 'Jag mate' rumour became more and more exaggerated. No opportunity was lost - the roof of the old Troodos OM bar which always had signed handprints in soot on it acquired a neat little pair of footprints in 'close line astern' captioned '31 (Fudge packing) Sqn', there was a 6 sqn reunion notice up in the OM foyer in Leuchars to which someone had added a new paragraph: "8. Gays welcome" - it went unnoticed for quite a while! Even tanker mates got in on the act, "Clear astern the centre" was often called in a somewhat camp voice to 31 sqn mates during AAR...
No doubt these days such banter would be pounced upon by the PC nazis as being discriminatory and likely to be construed as causing harassment to those of a particular bent.......sorry, 'persuasion'.
Location: Quite near 'An aerodrome somewhere in England'
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I've no idea who the apocryphal 'Jag Mate' actually was - but if he was KIA in GW1, then of course my commiserations to his family and friends.
Never believed all the rumours - I thought it was all just heavy banter after mis-ID'ing his pit when under the affluence of incohol. It didn't really go to CM, did it??
Rolling down the runway,
Throttles open wide,
See the mighty Phantom -
It sways from side to side.
Airborne again, without a blip -
It's just one more aborted trip
But we're pressing on regardless
For the Wing Commander's AFC
OR
F-4Ms are rocket ships,
They are flown by red-hot shits
And they make a mighty noise
RROOAARR!! [Sung with deep masculine voices]
Jaguars are Dinky toys,
They are flown by little boys
And they make a funny noise
Wheeeeeeee! [Sung with somewhat weedy high-pitched, preferably effeminate voices]
Seem to remember composing another verse to the above:
Flying over Yorkshire at just 250 feet,
In our fighting battle four we know we're hard to beat,
The leader is lost without a doubt,
And the number three has his INAS out,
But we're pressing on regardless
for the WingCo's AFC.
Also remember (Appolgies to 1(F) Sqn)
(to the Beatles tune of 'When we are 64')
Today we saw them high in the sky,
Over Wainfleet range,
Rockets they were throwing high and wide,
Bombs were going way down the side
Nobody heeds them, nobody needs them
Poor old 54
Ref the pit mis-ID I think we should ask a Goldstar guy for the story (the driver who was allegedly involved was KIA in GW1).
Another "words of one song to the tune of another" as Humphrey Littleton would say is Puff the Magic Dragon:
Puff the Canberra pilot
Wanted for to fly
He rolled off down the runway
And climbed into the sky
But just as he got airborne
He crashed back to the floor
He's just another victim
Of a Treble One F4.
Showing a bit of heritage there.
At the risk of telling boring warries perhaps we should start a "great/stupid things I have done/seen in a Phantom" line.
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There was a story going around when I was doing the OCU at Coningsby about some daft USMC dare concerning writing your initials on the outside of your F4 windscreen at some stage between take-off and landing....
To do that would mean getting the a/c down below the canopy limiting speed (was it something like 90 kts?), unstrapping, opening the canopy, scribbling your initials, clsoing the canopy again and strapping back in before the a/c departed......
Don't forget to depressurize first, BEagle. I thought the canopy limit was 80kts but my F-4E manual says 'Canopy open, Ground Operation 60kts; Load Factor Not Applicable'!!! I don't have an RAF one. 60kts was, as you know, off the bottom of the clock by some 20kts! I'm sure some RAF types had emulated this feat in the early Coningsby days, presumably off a very low speed bunt. I don't think one needed to unstrap to do it, either, as I could certainly reach the front of the windshield .............. on the ground, of course.
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Lincolnshire
Age: 66
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F4-Jag shoot down - more
Heard a GAF pilot in either and Alpha Jet or Fiat was lining up for a shot on another Jag when he saw the 'winder leave the F4.
He broke off saying "Ah, ze RAF are playing for real today best I go home."
Impinger, you are right when you say the F4 was bought as a fighter not a bomber. It was the reason why I didn\'t finish the OCU. I couldn\'t hack 90s.
B*tard Bill (I quite liked him actually) and Super Nav were on the OCU at the time. The CGI was the infamous, and Bryant.
The OCU was aiming balls out at AD aircrew in contrast to the bombers down at Honnington. That I could have had two tours mud moving didn\'t count for shit.
I was visiting SHAPE before Christmas, the Scottish Group Captain was there getting his Christmas duty free (NEVER, what in an RAF Staff car)?
Anyway, we were taken hostage by a mad lothario with a gun. Quite exciting. Anyway we persuaded the Belgique police to detain us in the bar in case they needed to take a statement. Hours later, shit faced, we staggered next door to the motel. The Bwords\'s ADC was as shit-faced as the rest of us and missed her bosses start time the next morning. He gave her a right bollocks but we eventually managed to get word to him what a star she had been.
Services to Stella Artois and all that.
I think it was Jim McRoberts, and apologeies for adding a Canberry staory to this thread BUT . . .during confrontation in Malaysia, in a PR Canberra, they were tasked to do a low level run across an Indonesian airfield. The airfield was disused - oh yeah, why were they doing a recce - and there was no threat.
It was also at max range. The plan, a hi-lo-hi with about 20 miles low level and a climb as soon as they got the pics.
450k, 50 miles later, he was still calling Climb you bastard, climb.
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