> This is a home course that can be practiced at home for all those who > aspire to become "long haul" Pilots. > > For those aspiring to become "ultra long haul" Pilots, increase the > time prescribed below by at least 60%!!!! > > > > Here is a home study simulator course for those who still hunger for > the romance and adventure of long-haul flying. > > It will all come to you if you practice the following at home: > > 1. Stay out of bed all night > > 2. Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, in a closet, for nine or ten > hours facing a four foot wide panoramic photo of a flight deck. > > 3. Have two or three noisy vacuum cleaners on high, out of sight but > within hearing distance and operating throughout the night. If a > vacuum cleaner fails, do the appropriate restart checklist. > > 4. Halfway through your nocturnal simulator course, arrange for a > bright spotlight to shine directly into your face for tw or three > hours, simulating flying an eastbound flight into the sunrise. > > 5. Have bland overcooked food served on a tray midway through the night. > > 6. Have cold cups of coffee delivered from time to time. Ask your > spouse to slam the door frequently. > > 7. At the time when you must heed nature's call, force yourself to > stand outside the bathroom door for at least ten minutes, > transferring your weight from leg to leg, easing the discomfort.Don't > forget to wear your hat. > > 8. Leave the closet after the prescribed nine or ten hours, turn on > your sprinklers and stand out in the cold and 'rain' for twenty > minutes, simulating the wait for the crew car. > > 9. Head for your bedroom, wet and with your suitcase and flight bag. > Stand outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves, > simulating the wait while the maid makes up the hotel room. > > 10. When your spouse inquires, 'Just what in the hell have you been > doing?' just say, 'Recalling the allure of all night flying to > romantic places.' as you collapse into bed. > > 11. If you are a purist, do this two nights in a row. > > > 12. To make this "flight' more realistic find a stranger with gas, > body odour ,who you dislike, is boring and keeps falling asleep to be > your Captain.
It is just a dimensions issue ... someone would say.
But for sure I belive is the same shitty lenght... Would you prefer : 13h duty 8h flying 4 or 5 legs which means 4/5 boarding problems, 4/5 take offs, 4/5 landings and everything else 4/5 times more problems... Finnaly at the end of the day you have carried (on a small A320)more than 600 people (almost an A 380) every one with his own small problem to solve. And as icing on the cake , after your 4 legs at your last daily landing you divert due a few crosswind knots and get another scenario for the next 2 hours with your 200 diverted pax without assistance and threathen your flight attendants that if they dont have any assistance they wont leave the aircraft. And oh yes I woke up at 4.30 am and ended up at 8.30 pm ... maybe just like my ultra long collegue...
To further enhance the long haul simulation, take 4 or 5 de-humidifiers with you in the closet so it can suck out all the natural moisture out of the air. When you start to feel like a prune inside then your getting close. The only thing missing now will be the effect of time zones.
12. To make this "flight' more realistic find a stranger with gas, > body odour ,who you dislike, is boring and keeps falling asleep to be > your Captain.
May I add.......someone who sleeps with his dog; you find dog hair on his head, uniform and " good morning ' towel. And growls like a bulldog whenever you correct as to the SOPs.
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