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Middle East Many expats still flying in Knoteetingham. Regional issues can be discussed here.

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Old 16th Aug 2008, 13:01   #1 (permalink)
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Hades.
Posts: 754
Bohemian UAE Rhapsody

Is this the check point?
Is this just Wadi B?
Caught in a sand slide,
No escape from the GCC.
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see...

It's Emirates Airlines, they need some sympathy, Because the pilots come, pilots go, little high, little low,
Any way the sand blows doesn't really matter to me, UAE.

Neighbour..., just killed a lamb, Put him underneath his coat, pulled a knife across his throat,
Bugger, lunch had just begun, But now I've gone and thrown it all away.
Bugger, oo,oooh, didn't mean to work so late,

And I'll be here again this time tomorrow, Carry on, carry on, as if appointments really matter.

Tuesday, my visa run,
Got a taxi just in time, now I'm standing in the line.
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and get the stamp.
Bugger, oo,ooh, I don't want to queue, I sometimes wish I'd never come here at all.

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
P.R.O., P.R.O., will you do this stuff for me?
Medical and eye test, then I've got the blood test, me. Cappuccino.
(Cappuccino). Cappuccino. (Cappuccino), Cappuccino Pajero

I'm just a sponsor and nobody loves me.
He's just a sponsor from a poor family, He's got two Mercs, and a white GMC

Visa come, Visa go, will you let me go.
Inshallah! No, we will not let you go.
(Let him go!) Inshallah! We will not let you go.
(Let him go!) Inshallah! We will not let you go.
(Let me go.) Will not let you go.
(Let me go.) Will not let you go. (Let me go.) No, no, no, no, no,
no, no.

Alhumdalillah, Bismillah, Humdallillah, let me go.
The Eat and Drink has a chicken put aside for me, for me, for me...........
So you think Mirdif's villas are well worth a try?
So you think Spinney's prices are really quite high?

Oh, Janey, can't do this to me
Janey, Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.

Nothing really matters, in the UAE,
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters, to me.

Any way the sand blows.......

Unknown artist
helen-damnation is offline  
Old 16th Aug 2008, 13:42   #2 (permalink)
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: any where that will have me.
Posts: 140
Indian Rhapsody

You have to sing to the song Bohemian Rhapsody all the way through
to get the full effect.

All together now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.


Naan, just killed a man
poppadom against his head
Had lime pickle now he's dead.
Naan, dinner's just begun
But now I'm gonna throw it all away.
Naan, ooh, ooh Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back from the loo by this time tomorrow
Curry on, curry on
Cause nothing really Madras.
Too late, my dinner's gone
Sends shivers down my spine
Bottom aching all the time
Goodbye onion bhaji, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.
Naan, ooh, ooh
This dopiaza is so mild
I sometimes wish we'd never come here at all.
[guitar solo]
I see a little chicken tikka on the side
Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh, pass the chutney made of mango
Vindaloo does nicely Very very spicy
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani and a naan
(A vindaloo loo loo loo)
I've eaten balti, somebody help me
He's eaten balti, get him to the lavatory
Stand you well back
'Case the loo is quarantined...
Here it comes
There it goes
Technicolor yawn
I chunder
It's coming up again
(There he goes)
I chunder, it's coming back again
(There he goes)
Coming back again
(up again)
Here it comes again.
(No no no no no no NO)
On my knees, I'm on my knees
On his knees, Oh, there he goes
This vindaloo
Is about to wreck my guts
Poor meee.. poor meeee...poor MEEEEEE!

[guitar solo]
So you think you can chunder and then feel alright?
So you try to eat curry and drink beer all night? Oh maybe,
but now you'll puke like a baby Just had to come out
It just had to come right out in here.

[guitar solo]
[slow bit]

Korma or dopiaza
bhaji, naan or saag
Nothing makes a difference
Nothing makes a difference
To meee....
(Any way the wind blows....shshshsh)

From an ole coffindodger and his trusted zimmer frame
coffindodger is offline  
Old 16th Aug 2008, 13:48   #3 (permalink)
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Sandpit
Posts: 1,353
A "Summer Classic" for the w***ers... Stuck here until at least after Ramadan, to cheer us up

EGGW is offline  
Old 16th Aug 2008, 15:06   #4 (permalink)
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Dubai - sand land.
Age: 47
Posts: 2,377
Bohemian UAE Rhapsody - brilliant...

Indian Rhapsody - I nearly died laughing, funniest thing I've read for ages
White Knight is online now  
Old 16th Aug 2008, 19:59   #5 (permalink)
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Dubai
Posts: 31
Not to be pedantic, but it is "Emirates Airline," not "Emirates Airlines."
Bandit FO is offline  
Old 17th Aug 2008, 08:04   #6 (permalink)

Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: on a cloud
Posts: 35
Wunderbar.... you neet some vacatzion.. zome frezh air..ya.!! Computer...verboten!!

Von Richtofen is offline  
Old 17th Aug 2008, 11:04   #7 (permalink)
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Down under land
Posts: 302
.. love it...and so true!
Watchdog is offline  
Old 17th Aug 2008, 11:25   #8 (permalink)
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: USA
Posts: 130
Now that's what you call talent...
Maybe they should have a show called, "UAE's Got Talent".

repapips is offline  
Old 17th Aug 2008, 22:14   #9 (permalink)
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: UAE
Posts: 3
Sad, sad, sad....

Matamaros needs to acquire a sense of humour, and its late so he is probably tired EGGW

Last edited by EGGW; 18th Aug 2008 at 07:06. Reason: Needs a sense of Humour
MataMoros is offline  
Old 17th Aug 2008, 22:31   #10 (permalink)
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Anywhere I want
Posts: 326
Dude ! The FCOM is where your sence of humor is, filed away somewhere....

Written on the floor as I fell of my chair laughing....
CT7 is offline  
Old 18th Aug 2008, 00:07   #11 (permalink)
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Waterworld
Posts: 82
EK FO Rhapsody

Is this the real life is this reality
caught in the right seat
with a DEC from blighty.
open your ties, roll both your eyes and screeeeeaaam

Im just a gear boy need loads of sympathy
because im easy come hard to go
fly so high paid so low
Anyway this plane goes
doesnt really matter toooo meee, toowho meeee

mama just killed a man,
the problem was you see,
he was a f****ng DEC,
Mama three years on the job
hope the w@nkers wont hire another knob

Emirates ooooooooo
Didnt think that you would lie
Im staying down route on my flight tomorrow
Carry on carry on
cos my roster doesnt matter

3 years my time has come,
gonna move to the left seat
or a dec will get beat
goodbye everybody all you bills and woes
if only
theyd stop hiring left seat hoes

Emirates ooooooooo
I dont want to cry
sometimes wish id never been hired at all



I see a little bleeding w@nker of a man
what a douche
what a douche
he cant read the ops manual
Thunderbolt and lightning very very frighten him

He just dont know,
he just dont know,
he just dont know,
an y thing
I wish hed go go go go

He just a poor sod from a poor company
hes just a plonker with a dodgy history
Hes such a c0ck and he patronises me
Easy come hard to go
will you let this hoe go.....

Insahallah no
they wont let this ****** go
let him gooo
let hom gooo

no no no no nono no
mama mia mama mia
mama mia will you go

Belezebub sent this tosser to frustrate me

To be continued its late

Last edited by williewalsh; 19th Aug 2008 at 11:53.
williewalsh is offline  
Old 18th Aug 2008, 00:14   #12 (permalink)
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 547
MataMoros, get a life and a sense of humor with it.

Guy's that was so funny, cheered me a treat.
puff m'call is offline  
Old 18th Aug 2008, 06:57   #13 (permalink)
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: The Dog House
Posts: 53
Excellent work guys Can anyone do a song for Goat Airways to a Leonard Cohen or Nick Cave tune
Two Dogs.... is offline  
Old 19th Aug 2008, 08:20   #14 (permalink)
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Toronto
Posts: 215
you dont know what you have started...even a cathay version on the fragrant harbour forum.
treboryelk is offline  
Old 19th Aug 2008, 20:17   #15 (permalink)
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: USA
Posts: 130
That's Even Better Williewalsh!!!
A Whole Lot!!!

:d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d
repapips is offline  
Old 20th Aug 2008, 19:23   #16 (permalink)
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Waterworld
Posts: 82
Its a god job I turned down the DEC job then
williewalsh is offline  
Old 15th Sep 2008, 04:47   #17 (permalink)
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Gagged in the back of a tinted 4x4
Posts: 6
I also dislike being pedantic (I don't, but it must be said), the legal entity is "Emirates airline" (lowercase 'a').

EK748 is offline  
Old 29th Sep 2008, 11:36   #18 (permalink)
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Tatooinee
Posts: 18
Angel on the bohemian and indian raphsodies...

Given the right time and moment, a pilot can be a poet.
hermione is offline  
Old 25th Aug 2009, 09:08   #19 (permalink)
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Sydney
Posts: 22
To all the gentleman above, you have missed your real calling in life.
Setright is offline  
Old 16th Sep 2009, 16:56   #20 (permalink)
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: World
Posts: 3
Indian Rhapsody

Just read the rhapsody for the first time. Experienced it many times!!!!!

airsnapper is offline  

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