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Old 7th Aug 2003, 18:05   #1 (permalink)
High Flying Bird
 
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Exclamation Caught Short?

Since most of us are against the idea of a Girly Forum, I'm going to have to pose my question here...

What do you women do when you're caught short in a light aircraft?

I quote from my post in Private Flying:
Quote:
Anyone ever tried one of those 'Lady Jane Adapters'? Look pretty undignified if you ask me. Can you imagine... flying along in your PA28 or whatever, you turn to the person in the RHS and say "Can you take control for a while please?" You then proceed to remove your harness and umpteen layers of clothing before politely asking everyone to avert their gaze...

I guess the easy answer is to fly an aircraft that needs pit stops more often than you do. Like a Chipmunk for example?
Any ideas?

SW
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Old 7th Aug 2003, 18:22   #2 (permalink)

 
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Nappy
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Old 7th Aug 2003, 18:25   #3 (permalink)
Anthony Carn
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I thought you liked being upside down AB ? ( I mean in an aeroplane, but you can share any other situations with us if you like ).

That should help keep it in.
 
Old 7th Aug 2003, 20:20   #4 (permalink)
 
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Can't be too comfortable for us guys either. I mean come on, just look at that thing we are supposed to use. Imagine hitting a thermal in mid stream.

F F F Fetch a cloth Granville.

Man or woman how the hell do you hold it in place, with strong thighs ?
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Old 7th Aug 2003, 20:25   #5 (permalink)

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AB

May I suggest that you do a Google search on the rec.aviation.soaring newsgroup. I remember seeing some threads on the subject.

Glider pilots (both genders) going cross-country had to develop techniques to overcome these problems (not being seen by the rest of the crew, but removing clothing)

At least, with the current heat wave going on, you sweat so much that it keeps bladder pressure at a fairly manageable level.
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Old 7th Aug 2003, 22:40   #6 (permalink)
Evo
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What do you women do when you're caught short in a light aircraft?
Man or woman, just don't pull G! An instructor of mine managed to blag a jolly in an Extra 300 ... and realized he really needed a dump just as the wheels left the ground...
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Old 7th Aug 2003, 23:35   #7 (permalink)

I am a figment of my own imagination
 
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Cool

A nightmare scenario Evo which was highlighted by an unfortunate F18 pilot, the situation recorded and posted for posterity on PPRuNe's Mil pilot forum.

AB I would amagine Janner Yeager must have faced the problem in Voyager and somehow survived, but then she had a companion in similar circumstances and I gues it was a case of you and me both.

I did have a pretty ambarrasing episode in a Lear 25 where the 'loo' is in the front of the cabin and ones modesty preserved by a very flimsy curtain, not one of my more exciting Lear moments.

The 'Human Range Extender' is of course uniquely suitable for the male, I had a chief pilot who suggested I buy one rather than leaving the flight deck on long legs, but I simply cut down on the liquids when flying with him.
I would hazard a guess that there may possibly be a female version but cannot say I have ever come across it.
I doubt that the portable relief tubes available to female soldiers would be suitable as they are for field use as opposed to the cockpit.
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Old 8th Aug 2003, 00:25   #8 (permalink)

I'matightbastard
 
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How about the Stadium Pal?

Davis Sedaris wrote a very funny piece about having a "pipping hot bag of urine" strapped to his leg.
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Old 8th Aug 2003, 00:28   #9 (permalink)
Anthony Carn
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there may possibly be a female version but cannot say I have ever come across it.
Want to rephrase that ?
 
Old 8th Aug 2003, 00:42   #10 (permalink)

I'matightbastard
 
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Here you go... The Stadium Pal (and Stadium Gal)

And a review by Dave Barry (that I heven't read yet)
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Old 8th Aug 2003, 00:58   #11 (permalink)

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Brings to mind the sketch Billy Connelly did on T.V. about wearing incontinence pants and going out for the evening drinking and dancing.
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Old 8th Aug 2003, 01:09   #12 (permalink)
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Is that the one when he undoes the ties at the bottom of the trousers to let it out?
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Old 8th Aug 2003, 01:13   #13 (permalink)

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That's the one. Also, before emptying them, trying to dance, and having to lift each leg because they're full!
Very funny. (Original too.)
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Old 8th Aug 2003, 01:32   #14 (permalink)
 
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How about getting a friendly nurse to catheterise you, then you can have the tap hanging out if you need to empty the bag, for fear of explosions!
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Old 8th Aug 2003, 01:35   #15 (permalink)

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Depends on how friendly the nurse is!
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Old 8th Aug 2003, 02:33   #16 (permalink)
 
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A "friend" of mine flew a Jaguar to Nellis for RED FLAG. He tells of the condom/tube/bag in lower leg pocket system in use by RAF chaps. Only problem is (takes deep breath) u need a "stiffy" to roll the afore mentioned thing on.
Cue VC10 tanker, top up tanks mid atlantic, hold echelon port post tank and need a pee. Pilot was filmed by VC10 crew "getting wood" to roll thing on and the film was shown at the Nellis bash after RED FLAG was over.
Anyone care to confirm this?
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Old 8th Aug 2003, 02:43   #17 (permalink)

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Shouldn't that be "getting aluminium"?
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Old 8th Aug 2003, 02:46   #18 (permalink)

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Aluminum
.
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Old 8th Aug 2003, 04:50   #19 (permalink)
 
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Brings to mind the tale about the relief tube fitted to the P51. Some bright chap in the design office thought that putting the outlet in an area of low pressure would be a desirable thing. No not for that reason! but to prevent back flow into the cockpit. Seems that they got the position ever so slightly wrong. The poor sod that tried it out had to make a very delicate landing before he could disengage his tackle from the offending tube.
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Old 8th Aug 2003, 05:42   #20 (permalink)
 
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Paterbrat, those Lears have given more than one guy an embarassing moment. Once on the ramp at Washington National the pilot of a Lear 30 series was sitting on the potty when the bottom half of the door fell down. He attempted to grab it, and fell headfirst onto the ramp with his pants around his ankles and his bare arse in the air. The spectators applauded.
I won't comment on the dirty sob who turned the drain of the relief tube in our C-46 around, so everything blew back in your face if you used it.
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