Most Disgusting/Interesting Thing You've Seen Or Heard Of Happening On An Aircraft
Didnt really see it myself but one of our pilots had a passenger who was sitting up the front (this in a C206 mind you) that managed to projectile vomit all over the instrument panel starting from the left hand side and working his way right. Our guy had to wipe some of it off the instrument panel to finish the flight. I'm told the stink was awful!!!
Another one of our guys had a nice trickle of sick down the back of his shirt one day as a pax was leaning forward to grab a sick bag.
I'm sure you long haul drivers or cabin crew and pax out there must have others needing to be told.
First of all, it's great to see you again. During my absence from PPRuNe for a while I haven't had the chance to have a chat with you. If I can 'communicate' with you and the others in another form, please find below an account of a quite horrific, uncomfortable and rather humorous event which occured in a former company with which I commited 'Aviation' on a very regular basis ... here goes...
A female passenger ( poor woman) , which apparently had some sort of problem had fallen asleep on a flight. Okay - so what's the punchline, you ask ? Well, during her sleep, she could not control her bowels and 'accidentally' let go of what seemed like breakfast and lunch. It was first noticed by a passenger on the aircraft sitting beside her, then VERY shortly afterwards on detection of the lovely aroma by all passengers on board.
The situation quickly arose to the attention of the Captain of that flight, to which he positively and assuringly approached the woman to see if she required any assistance ( no Flight Attendant aboard this aircraft). On confrontation, the passenger explained her situation ( again, poor woman ) to which the Captain again offered as much support advising her not to worry about it ( Yes, the Captain is a TOP bloke ). The exact details which followed are unbeknownst to me...
The above details were made available, in as humble a way by the Captain to the pilots in the crew room at the time, on completion of that flight. You can imagine the sh*t word came up in conversation many a time. The Captain proceeded to tell us the story as follows :
"..... then I asked the poor woman if she was okay..."
To which my Skipper on the day, overhearing the ordeal during our flight planning giggled , " NO SH*T !" loud enough for all to hear. And yes, the entire crew room was in hysterics for about 3-4 minutes.... things we do
Sitting for 10 mins in 33 deg heat at the R11 holding point at DN, in a PA-31 up to its arse in native Australian pax. Overwhelming stench eventualy got to me and I chundered all over the panel as I couldnt get my mouth quick enough to the storm window. Disgusting.
Yeah, know the feeling quite well Slasher, but I can say that I didn't actually chunder; close but no follow through. You weren't working for Ozzie O at the time by any chance?
I have had the Top End locals both p*ss*ing and sh*tt*ng in the aircraft and as far as projectile vomit by the pax goes; I had a guy (white tourist type who'd eaten eggs and Bundy for breakfast) throw up from the backseat of a C206 and who managed to cover all the other pax (his mates) in the aircraft with the vile mix; fortunately I didn't get splattered but he did hit the instrument panel infront of me; it took about 3 hours to clean the aircraft and about 3 days for the smell to go.
RAF Transport. The old piston propellor kind that wallows and bounces through the sky, unpressurised. Yes, a Handley Page Hastings [motto - Per Ardua Ad Nauseam]. Pax load of Pongos. [Infantry for those unfamiliar with RAFspeak] Flight Engineer and Load Master in cahoots. The Engineer has a sick bag into which has been poured a can of Bachelors Vegetable Soup. Shortly after lunch, the Engineer staggers down the middle of the aircraft headed for the bog while retching and chundering into the sick bag. In full view of the pax load, [who sit facing the tail in RAF aircraft] he hands the bag to the Loady who opens it, peers inside, tips his head back and pours the contents into his mouth, letting plenty dribble down his chin while he chomped it all down. Whole aircraft turns into a fair imitation of a Roman Vomitorium. Disgusting!
Not as disgusting as the air rage incident in which an enraged passenger expressed his opinion of the service by jumping onto the First Class meal service trolley, dropping his trousers and crapping all over the food though...
************************** Through difficulties to the cinema
I heard a story a while ago of a guy who'd bought himself rather a nice Stampe. In his enthusiasm, he had matching helmets made for himself and whoever he took up, in blue leather.
Took his wife up. Tried a few aeros. She felt an irresistible urge to re-examine the contents of her lunch. Nowhere to put it for said examination. In desperation she removed her helmet and deposited said lunch in it.
On return to the airfield, he got out and stalked off, completely ignoring her. She, somewhat crestfallen and shamefaced, trotted behind carrying the offending (or offended?) helmet. It was never quite the same again...
In the job which I am leaving tomorrow, Friday 3rd May, I have to repair IFE equipment. The seat boxes often get "spillage" induced damage and I have seen some very nasty substances therein. Coffee, tea, etc I can accept but some of the other contamination is a challenge to one's own guts and not lightly of men to be enterprised after a very good Festive Board following Lodge the previous night. It wrecks the circuit boards so is an expensive repair for the airline. I always wear rubber gloves and give the item a good spray with a cleaner before opening it when I get one like this.
Hosties, FAs, Ground Crew, and Flight Deck Crew when they have to deal with this , you have my total sympathy.
A guy on my course threw up during spin training. Took 6 hours to clean and three days out in all weathers with the doors open before anyone would fly it. First guy brave enough to do so reached for the flap handle and got a palm full of dried carrots. Yuk!
Domestic flight from Nanking to Hangzhou around 1990, and this bloke in a window seat gets up and begins to press himself against the window - further investigation revealed he was having a slash into the sick bag.
My first ever flight was, as an ATC cadet, in an RAF Chipmunk. When the aircraft taxied up I was bundled out to it, tightly trussed in a parachute, and waited for the previous passenger to get out. For some reason he didn't get out so I tapped him on the shoulder to ask him what it was like.
As he turned his face towards me I saw why he hadn't got out. He had icked into his oxygen mask and it gone everywhere, especially into his hair.
After they cleaned the cockpit up I got my turn, but at least I got it in the bag.
An ATC friend of mine was sick into his mask while at 30,000' in the back of a Meteor 7. When he had recovered from the rapid descent he had to clean it all up himself.
The worst I heard was from a friend who was a wrench jockey for a northern outfit. It went that a transport Canada type course came up in the nearest "big city", and to which the company's pilots had to attend. My buddy snagged the last available seat in the Beaver for the trip "out" since there would be no flying for a couple days while the course was on. As generally happens with such courses, the aftermath was terrible. Much beer swilling and carousing was had by all, except for the poor guy who had to drive the Beaver home the next day. It being a long flight and hoping to avoid any turbulence induced up-chucking, the pilot flying crawled the poor beast up several thousand feet higher than Beavers usually go in the summer, and on floats. This of course took about a half an hour. 20 min after level off, one of the boys in the back wakes up from his stupor and says to the PIC, "Take her down, I gotta cr@p!" The PIC of course responds that after missing all the drinking, followed by babysitting drunks, followed by a half hour of wallowing the Beaver up to that ungodly altitude, he will be maintaining present altitude until the planned destination. (Actually the language used was much more colourful than that and involved references to all of the members of the holy trinity, fornicating, sodomy, bodily functions, and the marital state of the parents of all onboard) It was soon apparent to the sufferer, that descent couldn't be made fast enough anyways, so alternate accomodations had to be found. Fortunately, one of the boys had purchased a fine new pair of running shoes in the big city and they were still in the box. Since everybody was sleeping he just crawled in the back and borrowed the box. Needless to say everybody was awake in short order, and not happy about it! The PIC was now in a real state. In his usual colourful language, he asked for the offending box to be handed over for disposal, and all available windows were opened for ventilation. Since he was the only person with the prescence of mind (or the dexterity) for the job, the PIC sort of folded in the sides a bit and forcefully committed the box to the forest below. Unfortunately the slipstream effect, combined with the open windows resulted in a very huge load of "morning after a three day drunk poop" to re-enter and very evenly coat a crew of extremely hung over people..... The ensuing group cookie-toss was unprecedented in the history of Canadian aviation.