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Old 29th Dec 2012, 11:24   #1 (permalink)
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School reunion: turn up or wuss out?

So the dreaded school reunion invite has shown up on Facebook.

Go or no go?

I didn't enjoy high school much; I remember it as five years of bullying, oneupmanship and all round nastiness. That said, I had friends, made a sporting team (we lost all the time but it was still a school team ) and still keep in contact with a few mates from the dark years. A couple of those people are strongly pressuring us all (bullying, even ) to turn up because it will allegedly be 'fun'.

So, for those of you who failed to become managing directors, millionaires or movie stars, did you go? Was it in fact 'fun'? While I'm not an all out failure (degree, job, mortgage, not obese, not on the Wanted Pereson list ) the first thought I had was, do I pass? Am I successful? What will they think of me? Suddenly I'm sixteen again, measuring self worth against the expectations of a bunch of insecure teenagers.

Is that what happens at the event, or is it more adult?

Last edited by Worrals in the wilds; 29th Dec 2012 at 11:28.
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 11:29   #2 (permalink)
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I wouldn't go but then I haven't kept in touch with anyone from my Secondary school, so even if there was I wouldn't know about it!

I didn't enjoy my time there and couldn't wait to leave! I have been back once since I left, just to show my wife where I went to school and used to live.

Not something I ever need to repeat.
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 11:30   #3 (permalink)

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I have missed every single reunion. However, I plan to be at the 30 year leaving Year 12 one in November.
From others who've been to recent ones their reaction was mixed.
On the one hand it was great to see old friends and see who's succeeded, who hasn't, who ended up with who etc. On the other, some just never grew up from the playground and kept their bitchiness going. Those people were generally ignored and laughed at.

I can't wait to go.
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 11:31   #4 (permalink)

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Bin it.

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Old 29th Dec 2012, 11:37   #5 (permalink)
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Last year the class of 81 ( all girls boarding school, very bitchy environment) had a reunion. I decided not to travel the 12,000 miles but was in theUK a couple of weeks later and caught up with some old school friends who had gone to it...one summed it up " everyone was so much nicer than we remembered and all the people we thought were popular thought that everyone else had hated them, and all the people who we thought hated us actually thought we were really popular" so...take away the teenage angst, priorities and misunderstandings and you may be pleasantly surprised and have a good chuckle over silly things ( ie boys and clothes and being in the netball team) that seemed so important then.....Apparently it was great fun and I wish I'd made the effort to go. Farcebook makes these things so much easier now!
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 11:38   #6 (permalink)
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Interesting, thanks. I guess there's a bit of curiosity in it but more dread. Steering towards being Away For Work at this stage.
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 11:44   #7 (permalink)
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If you do go to these things please start all sentences as follows:

"I apologise for denying you the opportunity of finding out for yourself but I..."
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 11:46   #8 (permalink)
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Apparently it can be very satisfying to see the bitchy pretty "in" crowd now fat and ugly sporting various plastic surgery disasters and lumbered with a string of ex husbands and delinquent children

Last edited by Clare Prop; 29th Dec 2012 at 11:47.
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 11:53   #9 (permalink)
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They have them every year at my old school. Usually don't go as it is always around our anniversary and we tend to be away somewhere nice.

The ones I went to I found pretty difficult. Everybody recognised and remembered me, and of the few I recognised I struggled to remember their names or anything at all about them. Boring and a bit embarassing.

Mind you, it has been half a century...

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Old 29th Dec 2012, 12:05   #10 (permalink)
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I got in touch with my old school to find out something and they plagued me with invitations to reunions and requests for bequests.

They especially wanted donations to support them in educating underprivileged children. But where would my money go? To pay the teachers, those lying cheating who plagued my early life.

The School, The School, they cry, we must all support The School. Self-centred money grabbers. It's a free market. I was forced to go there, didn't like it, and was glad to leave. They can earn their keep without pilfering my bank account.
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 12:25   #11 (permalink)
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The skool wot I went to is average with organising all these re-union thingies.
They talk about "leavers in the 60s" or "70s.".
That's not exactly personalised, is it? Haven't they heard of technology?
So I don't go to the organised ones.
However, a bunch of us have stayed in touch and meet twice a year for too much food and booze, with our partners.
The weird stat is that of those that married, all are still together. Must be some kind of record.
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 12:33   #12 (permalink)
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Worralls, are you a size 10? if so, you must go! The better question is, are you happy? That's the 'success' to be willy-waving, not job or money.

Go- you will either genuinely enjoy it, or will be genuinely bouyed by how well you've done.

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Old 29th Dec 2012, 12:39   #13 (permalink)
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It's not a question of 'wussing out'. My old school has a very active 'old boys' society in which I have absolutely no interest. I am regularly invited to attend, even though I'm not a member and even though most of the time I am hundreds if not thousands of miles away from where they take place.

I have kept in touch with the small number of my old school buddies with whom I want to maintain contact by normal means, telephone, meeting, and writing. No Faecesbook, no Twatter, etc.
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 12:59   #14 (permalink)
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Worrals, thats what you get for looking at Facebook; an invitation to an institution that you thought you had seen the back of ages ago.

Personally I have never been invited to any school reunion, never been invited to join any old scholars association and if I ever have the misfortune to set foot inside that Victorian era day penitentiary again I would not be happy until it was a smoking ruin. A pox on it.
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 13:10   #15 (permalink)
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I have been to a few of my senior school reunions, all boys, and they were fun. I think that was because I went with a couple of mates and between us we knew a few people. If you went on your own and didn't,t recognise anyone it could be boring because year cliques quickly developed. I went to a junior school reunion, mixed school, and that was a one time experience. The only real thing that stood out was that all the pretty young things who everyone fancied had turned into old dogs and all the plain janes looked very fanciable in their sixties!
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 13:18   #16 (permalink)
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I'd been to our Ten year and was apprehensive. When I turned up and started talking to a few familiar faces I was so pleased to have made the effort.
The Five year reunion was the classic room full of wankers (probably myself included), everyone in their naive youth was trying to extol how successful they were.
The Ten year was a completely different kettle of fish(no it was a boys school),everyone had gotten over trying to be successful and was there for the beer,laughs and company of each other.
Will I go again, absolutely. Did I enjoy the last one, absolutely.
Give it a go, you'll soon realise that no matter the success or failure most of us have travelled the same road.

Good Luck
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 13:26   #17 (permalink)
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Last year the class of 81 ( all girls boarding school, very bitchy environment) had a reunion. I decided not to travel...
I can think of a few Ppruners who might have been able to go in your place....
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 13:35   #18 (permalink)

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You know not of what you speak, Hobo. I've had six years in all-girls' boarding schools - as a teacher. Girls' reunions can be quite an intricate dance unless everyone is able to relax, when they are marvelous.

Having helped host a few, I'm not able to predict whether it will be fun or not Worrals. Give it a go once. If it works this time, it'll work next time. I agree that one shouldn't go until age 30.
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 13:48   #19 (permalink)

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Went to one a few years ago. I think it was arranged to separate me from my money so they could build yet another new sports facility. They didn't do enough research - I wasn't a sporting type then, and certainly am not now.

There was nobody there I knew - my lot are too long in the tooth to go to those things, I think.

"How about a bequest in your will?" "Sorry, it's all already planned and pledged."
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 16:52   #20 (permalink)

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Why would you?
Don't, if you have doubts. Unless there's a good friend to keep the company - but then you can ask about the event later and save the trouble of smiling and small talk.
And unless you want to make a statement with not being obese . Such events are generally pointless, it seems to me.
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