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Old 29th Dec 2012, 14:47   #21 (permalink)
 
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Outside of the 'celebrity' adoptions, I have utmost respect for any parents who adopt, care for, and raise children. They are angels.
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Old 29th Dec 2012, 18:50   #22 (permalink)
 
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I applaud anyone whom adopt and love a child regardless of celebrity status or not. Though I have my doubts about Madonnaís moral integrity as expressed in her filthy art, she may indeed be capable of raising her children into healthy adults.
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 03:25   #23 (permalink)
 
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I live in Asia and often fly American couples into China where they meet their children for the first time. I take my hat off to them. It is not easy and Americans adopt children with special needs who have been abandoned by their own country and institutionalized into the saddest of circumstances.

Incidentally, my daughter has a friend who was adopted by American parents and she still has the physical scars of where she was tied to her cot as a baby along with hundreds of others babies in Chinese orphanages.

A big thumbs up to these people who open their hearts to children who have no hope.

And Putin, you are a f&^%& mug. Instead of pathetic photo opportunities trying to show yourself as a tough guy hunting or horse riding, I'd like to see you hold a baby from a Russian orphanage. Just to remind you where your society is at!
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 04:13   #24 (permalink)
 
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There are a few video's that purport to be of the treatment of some Russian children adopted in the US of A. If it is proven, and this would appear to have been done, that these video's are indeed factual then the action taken by Putin is well justified. Once again it would appear to be the actions of a very few who spoil it for the many genuine people who are wishing to help.
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 04:30   #25 (permalink)
 
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No the action is NOT justified. The United States adopts more Russian children than any other nation including Russia. Putin did this to spite America's human rights mandate. In doing so he committed tens of thousands of Russian children to deplorable Russian orphanages where children are far more mistreated by horrible conditions.

Putin is an ass.
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 06:46   #26 (permalink)
 
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I disagree, if it is proven that some of these children are being mistreated then he has no option. Once again, a few idiots spoil it for the majority. the Russians cannot properly intervene on American soil so the only alternative is to stop all adoptions by Americans.
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 07:57   #27 (permalink)
 
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I would have thought if the USA is anything like the rest of the Western world there would be enough homegrown sprogs to adopt without going to foreign parts.
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 08:04   #28 (permalink)
 
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I know an English couple in California - knew them before they went there. Once their own two kids grew up, they started fostering, and fostered 24 kids. They're now 66, and have adopted 4 kids since babies, who are now 12, 11, 10 and 9. The 12 year old is of Mexican origin: the 11 year old is part coloured and not even her birth mother has any idea who the father is: the other two are white, the youngest one being taken from her birth mother at birth and testing positive for heroin. All of them are designated as 'special needs children' by the state.

The kids are lively, loved, well behaved and heavily into activities such as cycling, swimming, Girl Scouts and doing well at school. I was there cooking dinner, and the eldest who was seven at the time, - he was being home schooled - was told he could watch a video while waiting for dinner. His response was 'I don't want to watch a video, I want to read a book', which shows a lively mind.

There must be a lot of American kids needing adoption so where's the need to go abroad? In the UK, my friends would have been turned down for being 'too old' and 'wrong ethnic background' for the two oldest kids.

They do need a lot of energy to keep up with the kids, though!
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 08:15   #29 (permalink)
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Paradoxically, it's easier to jump through the hoops of adoption for an American couple to go overseas.

Fostering has fewer obstacles, but it doesn't convey the familial bonds.
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 12:05   #30 (permalink)
 
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I was adopted, but back in those days, there was something called a "private adoption".

All legal and overseen by the relevant authorities, but this was stopped in 1977/1978 time. In fact I'm lead to believe I was one of the last private adoptions to go through in my area.

My parents tried to adopt again, but were turned down. Only reason given. Not suitable. Going through a process that lasts 18 months with numerous visits from social workers, and each family member interviewed Alone and together as a group it's a very daunting process.

My parents appealed the decision, but that failed too and the same reason was given. The ironic thing is, my mum worked for social services and our house was used so children with disabilities would come and stay for respite care, so the parents could have a break.
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 12:27   #31 (permalink)
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dazdaz1 wrote:
Quote:
Being a (UK) single man, I'm in the process of adopting two 18 year old Russian sisters, do you think this ban may have consequences for UK adoptions?

Daz
But why stop fantasising at 2 x 18 year old (sisters)?

Why not just consider 1 x 36 year old (if one is at least 36 years old)? Or even 3 x 12 year olds = 36, 4 x 9 year olds = 36 (all adds up).

Many thanks for your own humourous input Daz, and opportunity for my own response.

Point is that very few politicians of any country, political party etc. have any 1st hand experience of the issues involved. It all just becomes a political play-field. Without any true considerations for those directly involved. Points-scoring etc., pleasing their commercial sponsors and reinforcing their own positions naturally come first. And not forgetting all the "job's worths" who turn a process which should take a few days or weeks into months and even years to come to fruition.
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 13:41   #32 (permalink)
 
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Mr D

The social relationships in the USA are very different, with frequent divorces and remarriages.

Children move like a browsing herd from current parents to previous ones, Mum and husband, Dad and Dad's wife, Dad's ex and her husband, Mum's ex and husband, getting preferential treatment from all. Grandparents by the dozen.

The most plaintive letter I ever saw in the paper was from a poor deprived little girl whose parents hadn't divorced yet so she only had two sets of grandparents to visit at Christmas.

No need for adoptions, so very many backup homes available.
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 14:44   #33 (permalink)
 
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In the late 50's and early 60's (and apparently the practice had been going for many, many years) in the small mining villages on the Notts/Derbys border, it was quite common for there to be what was known as 'swoppin ooer'. The father would move in with another woman, and another man would move in. He would be introduced to the children as 'this 'ere's yer new dad', and people carried on with their lives. It could happen several times: there was generally not a lot of, if any, rancour involved, and kids would visit the father - sometimes, visit several of their various dads! Some claimed because it had been the practice when that part of the country was the Danelaw.....
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 19:13   #34 (permalink)
 
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radeng, that is absolutely disgusting behavior and no way to raise children.
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 19:43   #35 (permalink)
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Quote:
The father would move in with another woman, and another man would move in.
That seems to be standard procedure among some households around here.
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 19:54   #36 (permalink)
 
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Having commenced the process of adoption, and then been totally turned off the idea, I can understand people looking elsewhere for someone to adopt.

I think it's natural to look to adopt someone as young as possible so that the start can be as much like a 'birth' as possible.

However the number of children put up for adoption (in the UK at least) of less than 18 months old is few in comparison to those being fostered for onward adoption.

In certain circumstances the 'Church' is involved making secular adoption well nigh impossible. So an easy course is to circumvent domestic restrictions, pay some fees and come home with a small bundle of joy who doesn't drag a load of political clap trap garbage with them.

Ultimately, we didn't adopt because of the (at the time) insurmountable obstacles in our path.

SGC
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 20:02   #37 (permalink)
 
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C-GPTN

Yes it does appear that Social morays have fallen off the edge of the earth, right along with business ethic, or any ethic, one might observe.
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 21:50   #38 (permalink)
 
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And what role does an ever-growing government play in crowding out the smaller neighborhood civic and religious organizations?

One third of all children in the US are born out of wedlock to a single parent. Where are the fathers? Simple, they have been supplanted by government checks, relieved of any responsibility to support and nurture their children.

De Toqueville was amazed at the volunteerism in America. The same spirit does not exist in Europe, where government is an increasing presence in every part of life. Governments grow, social responsibility and charity shrink. We are losing this spirit of social order, and the big government champions have no clue why.
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 22:03   #39 (permalink)
 
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Matari Iíve seen plenty of volunteerism in Europe Specifically during the Yugoslavian national disintegration years when the Catholic Church placed refugees in homes all across Austria, Germany, Switzerland, and, Italy. Imagine putting total strangers up inside your own home! We had a Croatian mother and three kids while the father fought for freedom.

They were Muslim.

Last edited by Temp Spike; 30th Dec 2012 at 22:03.
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Old 30th Dec 2012, 22:18   #40 (permalink)
 
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Of course, opening your home to strangers is indeed a very noble gesture. Not sure why their religion matters, but you bring it up.

I'll never forget when I went to work in the Netherlands I tried to introduce my US based company's charity program to our workforce there. I had our admin organize a Sinterklauus celebration for the local disability home. The locals were incredulous. Why in the world do this, they said? It is the government's job. But of course, the government didn't go above and beyond, and we did. The kids loved it, by the way, but it was a very uphill climb.

You might want to pour yourself a cuppa, sit down and watch this interesting (but lengthy) lecture. You might find your iron-clad belief in big government challenged. Or probably not, as these things tend to take on the qualities of religious beliefs.


Last edited by Matari; 30th Dec 2012 at 22:18.
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