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Old 14th Aug 2012, 21:37   #81 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 736
Dandy and Beano wee OK but you couldn't beat

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Old 14th Aug 2012, 22:03   #82 (permalink)
 
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Apologies for the length but I could not resist this!

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this: COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of [COLOR=#009900 !important][COLOR=#009900 !important]course[/COLOR][/COLOR].
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1".
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START".......
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 05:34   #83 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: EGNX country
Age: 58
Posts: 164
Nice one BH

Morning peeps
Pleasant Wx here at present but the rain radar does not look good for later.
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 07:02   #84 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: The Land of Beer and Chocolate
Age: 46
Posts: 770
Morning all

Day off today, yet another public holiday here and the sun is making sure we don't forget to put the sunblock on today (26C at 0900).

One can't remember the last time one suffered from CDS as badly as today.......
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 07:03   #85 (permalink)

ThRedBearOne
 
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Location: Where my heart is.
Posts: 366
I used to exchange my Dandy and Beano for Pauline's School Friend and Bunty. Which might explain a lot!

That first sentence might seem, to some, euphemistic. It isn't.

Did bob johns go overboard from XIX or this fair vessel?
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 07:04   #86 (permalink)
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Newcastle/UK
Posts: 80
Morning peeps,sleepless night last night for no apparent reason,reckon I caught that insomnia orf some of you lot.
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 07:06   #87 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: The Land of Beer and Chocolate
Age: 46
Posts: 770
See post 76, TB, he had a rather large dummy spit in the Aus politics thread which kinda tipped him overboard....
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 07:13   #88 (permalink)
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Newcastle/UK
Posts: 80
Nobody spat dummies further than me in me early proonin career but fings were easier going int olden days when Danny was the Sheriff.
Here be some good colour pickies of RAF life during our last scuffle wi the Hun.
The RAF, 1939-1945 | Retronaut

Last edited by tony draper; 15th Aug 2012 at 07:20.
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 07:20   #89 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: The Land of Beer and Chocolate
Age: 46
Posts: 770
Nahh, Mr. D, going by comments in the Aus thread I reckon this is a dummy spit even Danny would have had to ban Bob over.
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 07:25   #90 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: EGNX country
Age: 58
Posts: 164
Quote:
reckon I caught that insomnia orf some of you lot.
Not guilty Mr D. My insomnia fairies were busy keeping me staring at the ceiling last night. Oh for a decent bit of

On this day in 1939 The Cunard liner Queen Mary recaptured the Blue Riband from the SS Normandie, crossing the Atlantic in 3 days, 22 hours and 40 minutes.

That showed those furriners how it's done.
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 07:28   #91 (permalink)
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Newcastle/UK
Posts: 80
Hmmm, for some reason that website wi the RAF photos keeps crashing me browser which is a pity because there are some great photos on it and some good advice for PPRuNe ladies.
Tips for Single Women, 1938 | Retronaut

Last edited by tony draper; 15th Aug 2012 at 07:29.
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 07:28   #92 (permalink)

OLD RED DAMASK
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Lancashire born and bred
Age: 60
Posts: 310
Good morning all. Dull here as well.

Insomnia fairies had me as well. Still awake at about 3 and dozed til 4. Just lay there.
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 07:31   #93 (permalink)
 
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Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 77
Posts: 1,039

Morning all. This brought a smile me face
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 07:35   #94 (permalink)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: dormerset
Age: 56
Posts: 32
Morning all, grey skys abound here. No insomnia fairys here but was awoken by a long stream of invectives coming from the wet room at wtf o clock. Seems dad had forgotten how the temperature control on the shower worked. Oh well, busy day ahead, not sure how we are going to fit everything in.
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 07:58   #95 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alderney
Age: 52
Posts: 33
Morning all, rain and thunder hereabouts this morning.
We've friends flying up from Guernsey this weekend and SWMBO says we have to go 'shopping'.
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 08:37   #96 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 87
great, Goudie - reminds me of my daughter explaining Grandpa things about his laptop. They've developed a language on their own, I'd say (extra complication being Grandpa's learned German at school, so all the commands are read out as written). Like: you click on the minus, and then it goes into hiding... etc.
Mornin'!
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 09:08   #97 (permalink)

OLD RED DAMASK
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Lancashire born and bred
Age: 60
Posts: 310
Wind getting stronger here is this the start of the servere weather warning??

Sunny at the moment.
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 10:29   #98 (permalink)

FX Guru
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Greenwich
Age: 57
Posts: 850
Rain on the way here.

How does one go shopping on Alderney? How many shops are there?
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 10:36   #99 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: EGNX country
Age: 58
Posts: 164
The rain has reached here.
It all came in one big lump.
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Old 15th Aug 2012, 10:40   #100 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: The Land of Beer and Chocolate
Age: 46
Posts: 770
How lucky you are, handsfree.

Over here we have to suffer glorious sunshine and 30C (one thermometer thing at a nearby store, which is in direct sunlight, is recording a "live" temp of 36+, and the one across the street from me which is now in partial shade says 32).

How unlucky we are to not have that wonderful summer weather you have.....



(Beer in the sun later, methinks)
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