Tableview

So we're back to A which stands for A-levels, a qualification apparently attained by a number of young ladies advertised on some dubious websites which I of course never look at, but I have this friend who ...........!

probes

Bullflowers.
Origin: when in the company of kids and don't want to use the other word (not to be a corrupting influence, that is ), or the other way round (they don't want to use the other one).
The boys coined it 2 days ago and it worked very well.

Edna Beverage

C - Cricket week, when one is well padded up and totally out of bounds.

david1300

C is for clever use of asterisk, as in cl*t, c*nt, c*ck, c*cks*ck*r

Slasher

D is for dick cheese - known as smegma. Can also be commercially obtained from Albanian goats.

Cumulogranite

F is for Firemans Burp. The exhaust of a noxious gas whilst releiving considreable pressure on ones bladder!!

B Fraser

oops, we missed one

E - Exorcist - one who has the ability to rid a place of spirits, especially on the gantry behind a bar.

right, it's on to G

G - Gammon flaps, the swing doors on a pig sty. I don't know what you were thinking of but I read an article in Farmers Weekly.

gingernut

Harry....as in, when Neil Kinnock was being shown round the factory, and he boss, Harry, asked how the job was going Bri, the answer was The F+cking F|+cker's F+cked Harry !

(Bri is my dad)

Alloa Akbar

I is for Iguana's chin.. as in "Piss flaps like an..."

B Fraser

J is for Jap's Eye (derivation unknown).

bnt

K is for Knuckle Shuffle : a handshake with the unemployed. Sometimes prefixed with the number four, but that is technically incorrect, given that the standard fully-digited human hand has fourteen knuckles. As Woody Allen said: "don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love".

Slasher

L is for......

Hobo

M is for... Map of Tasmania. A triangle covered in forest.




.

Low Flier

N is for Ni

as in the well known description of a mid-West sheriff

The sheriff is a Ni

unclenelli

O is for the Original Roger's Profanisaurus

Unfortunately no longer available online, but I have a 2003 copy as a word doc.

B Fraser

P - Poopernova. A visit to the loo where dark matter is suddenly converted into energy. An unexpected dose of the Ertha Kitts, the Aztec two-step, a poonami, an "Allied Carpets" i.e. everything must go, a huge clearance which renders the pan in a state similar to the grid at Brands Hatch, the flight deck of the Ark Royal or the entire length of 27L at Heathrow.

Slasher

Q is for Quench on the Bench. Oral sex performed by a lady while she kneels
and bobs her head up and down on her partner who's sitting on a park bench.

bnt

R is for Ride Me Sideways, a phrase immortalised by Father Ted's housekeeper Mrs. Doyle, after she read a "racy" book written by a visitor to Craggy Island and objected to the language contained therein ...

B Fraser

S - Scouse Cashpoint : An unlocked car. See also a Scouse key - a brick.

Alloa Akbar

T - is for "'Twernt" - or Biffins Bridge.. If it Twernt there a womans guts would fall out..