PPRuNe Forums


Jet Blast Topics that don't fit the other forums. Rules of Engagement apply.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10th Aug 2017, 16:07   #10701 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: San Jose
Posts: 681
Quote:
Originally Posted by sitigeltfel View Post
After the outbreak of Norovirus at the World Athletics Championships, the baton in the 4x100 metres relay is to be replaced with a toilet roll.
Added incentive for the 100m - 8 runners, 7 toilet stalls positioned at the finish line.
llondel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th Aug 2017, 17:11   #10702 (permalink)
Stargazing
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: West
Posts: 421
Old Mrs Cohen was walking home through the park after a hard day's work sewing in her son's tailoring emporium. Suddenly, a flasher stepped out in front of her and opened his coat. Mrs C looked at him scornfully and said,

"You call that a lining?"
Rather be Gardening is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th Aug 2017, 18:53   #10703 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Coasting South
Age: 62
Posts: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by llondel View Post
Added incentive for the 100m - 8 runners, 7 toilet stalls positioned at the finish line.
Why 7 when 1 would do?
hiflymk3 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10th Aug 2017, 19:37   #10704 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: The Luberon
Age: 65
Posts: 820
Quote:
Originally Posted by hiflymk3 View Post
Why 7 when 1 would do?
Less work for the stadium cleaning staff?
sitigeltfel is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10th Aug 2017, 20:50   #10705 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: N. Spain
Age: 73
Posts: 1,257
Quote:
After the outbreak of Norovirus at the World Athletics Championships, the baton in the 4x100 metres relay is to be replaced with a toilet roll.

I guess you saw Mattīs cartoon in yesterdays Daily Telegraph.
Shack37 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th Aug 2017, 20:50   #10706 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 59°09N 002°38W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 74
Posts: 664
ricardian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th Aug 2017, 22:37   #10707 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: San Jose
Posts: 681
Quote:
Originally Posted by sitigeltfel View Post
Less work for the stadium cleaning staff?
That was my thought, too.
llondel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th Aug 2017, 15:26   #10708 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: The Luberon
Age: 65
Posts: 820
sitigeltfel is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11th Aug 2017, 21:56   #10709 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 59°09N 002°38W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 74
Posts: 664
ricardian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th Aug 2017, 08:12   #10710 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: UK
Age: 79
Posts: 634
Quote:
After the outbreak of Norovirus at the World Athletics Championships,
When you gotta run, you gotts run.
funfly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th Aug 2017, 09:35   #10711 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 59°09N 002°38W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 74
Posts: 664
ricardian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th Aug 2017, 13:04   #10712 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 59
What, ricardian doesn't work weekends???
axefurabz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th Aug 2017, 22:51   #10713 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Canada/Malaysia
Age: 77
Posts: 80
BlankBox is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th Aug 2017, 03:14   #10714 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: PA
Age: 52
Posts: 1,355
Checklist training.



Did you notice the section map taped to the windscreen?

Last edited by underfire; 14th Aug 2017 at 03:28.
underfire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th Aug 2017, 04:29   #10715 (permalink)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: QLD - where drivers are yet to realise that the left lane goes to their destination too.
Posts: 1,164
There's a windscreen?
Traffic_Is_Er_Was is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th Aug 2017, 05:38   #10716 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Great South East, tired and retired
Posts: 1,450
Which one is the captain, the one with 3 bars, or the one with half a bar?
Ascend Charlie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th Aug 2017, 06:08   #10717 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: The Luberon
Age: 65
Posts: 820
A father texts his son:

"My Dear Son,

Today is a day you will treasure for all the days of your life.
My best love and good wishes.
Your Father."

His Son texts back:

"Thanks Dad. But the wedding isn't actually until tomorrow!"

His Father replies:

"I know."
sitigeltfel is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 14th Aug 2017, 06:09   #10718 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: 57 North
Posts: 36
Re. post #10714
FO to Captain, who's this creepy guy with the camera at my side window?
Chuck Glider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th Aug 2017, 07:07   #10719 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 59°09N 002°38W (IATA: SOY, ICAO: EGER)
Age: 74
Posts: 664
A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his 5-year-old son standing pie-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event.
The farmer thought "Great - he's 5 and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and the bees. No need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer."
When everything was over, Dad strolled over to his son and said, "Well Willie, do you have any questions?"
"Just one," gasped the pie-eyed lad.
"How fast was that calf travelling when he hit the cow?"
ricardian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th Aug 2017, 08:29   #10720 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: France
Age: 64
Posts: 38
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Aldi's.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you
what's wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. A lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Aldi's.

He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.
He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.
It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Aldi's."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began

wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his
wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Aldi's, eager to check the results.
He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at Aldi.
expatfrance is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT. The time now is 09:43.


Đ 1996-2012 The Professional Pilots Rumour Network

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.1