A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears. A flying mate has shoulders soggy and smelly from your projectile vomiting.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book. A flying mate invites them round to his place to get pi**ed while you are away.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean. A flying mate denies responsibility for that "Map of Australia" on your duvet.
A simple friend hates it when you call after they have gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call. A flying mate simply gets up, gets the towrope and pulls your car out of the ditch
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems. A flying mate is usually there to assist you in creating them
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it. A flying mate would blackmail you with it, but doesn't due fear of reprisal
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself. A flying mate quaffs all your beer, scoffs all the curry, blocks the WC and leaves you a note saying "Cheers Sucker"
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight. Flying mates argue constantly, usually that your touchdown was actually NOT "Like a cat pi**ing on velvet" and it IS in fact now your round.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you A flying mate can at least discuss the heading, distance and time en route to "there."
A simple friend helps you move. A real friend helps you move a body. A flying mate helps as wingman, while you make a move on somebody.
No, a "friend" will do that. A "true friend" will bury the bodies for you...
But, to be serious, what is a "friend"? I mean, we all have "friends" but most of them are, realistically, "acquaintances" as, no matter how often you see them or how friendly they are, you know you wouldn't count on them when things go tutsip and, realistically, you don't know much about them. Then you have the ones who are *sometimes* there but then try to screw you out of *whatever* yet you still appreciate them and willingly help them when you can when they have problems.
Then you have the others, an EXTREMELY small number of the people you know, who you can trust 100% with anything, who will always be there for you and you will be there for them no matter what. These people are the ones you can call "friends", and they're the ones you will always keep in contact with no matter where you are in the world. They are the "true" friends.........
Oh, Airship. Your "utopian" idea is something that has been done here, but without the kitties. A "friend" of the PYT was facing being ripped off over a studio apartment or being on the street due to the 'orspital saying "your time is up". No questions asked, a third option was offered, and gratefully received, so she, and all her worldly goods, are residing in our spare room until she gets back on her feet again. Sure, it's an upheaval for us and it costs us a little more since she has money issues, but it was still the best option for her right now and the best option for her regarding her mental health because of the stress of facing being homeless or being ripped off (pay a deposit on an apartment of any kind in CASH, for that is what the "landlord" wanted? I THINK NOT!!). Do I say I'm a "friend" of hers? I guess now I do, but a couple of weeks ago I was just being a decent human being after the PYT said "can we" because I hardly knew her (saw her twice), but I would never turn someone I knew away if I had a chance to help them. One day, they might have to do the same for me.............