The closing ceremony should involve The Olympic Flame being used to set light to all the unsold 'London 2012' quality merchandise, piled high in the centre of the running track.
Here in Surrey it's only going to hit Egham a glancing blow on the outskirts and not going down the High Street - see Link. Still, if you're in the chippy near the bypass at the right time....but it'll need split second timing to coincide with one of the 21 minutes in every hour that the station level crossing barriers are actually up. Along the "Home of Democracy" at Runnymede Common it's in "convoy mode" presumably on the back of a lorry - still with Coubertin the father of the modern Olympics, what have the French ever done for us? Interestingly, if you look at the bottom of the map in the link, it seems to be going through the Proctor & Gamble factory in Whitehall Lane! I wonder how many boxes of products P&G slipped Seb "smug f^%ker" Coe? - I suspect his missus won't be needing to buy any Head and Shoulders or Always panty liners for a while!
You think we'd be safe down here as we're not even a part of the UK. No such luck, the damned thing is being flown in so they can close the sea front and disrupt things as much as possible.
The closing ceremony should involve The Olympic Flame being used to set light to all the unsold 'London 2012' quality merchandise, piled high in the centre of the running track.
A very wise poster on ARRSE has suggested the organisers and their acolytes be herded into the main stadium for a fight to the death during the closing ceremony. The last man standing will be despatched by HRH Phil from the royal box with a shotgun.
A very wise poster on ARRSE has suggested the organisers and their acolytes be herded into the main stadium for a fight to the death during the closing ceremony.
And the starting signal be Boris dropped from a chopper 500 feet above the Stadium
Further proof of the general UK Insanity, Glasgow are trying to get the 2018 Youth Olymics.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don't drop Boris out of a helicopter. I have such a good laugh every time he appears on the telly. The man's a raving loony, but well worth his wages.
Whats with this flipping "convoy" mode? When I first saw the torch route a while back I was chuffed to see it was going right past my house out in the country. I'd selected my spot to get a shot of the torch with the house in the background - one for the grandkids. Now I see that half of the time its going to be on some sort of vehicle being driven from town to town, which will be the case where I live.
There is so much faffing around, changing runners every 200 metres or so etc that the thing is still going to take 12 hours to cover the 80 odd miles from Lands End to Saltash - the first day of the journey. Instead of giving the job to teams of reasonable fit athletes who could easily have run the whole distance in that time they are getting a motley assortment of people, some of whom have confessed they may have to walk part of their allotted section! FFS! I thought the Olympics was all about excellence, but apparently it's something called "inclusion".
Well include me out - now that the torch is going to be driven past my gaff I have no further interest in the proceedings. Wake me up when they are over and the inevitable recriminations start!
Controversy in the local press because those chosen to run the torch aren't going to be doing it in their home territory, but elsewhere in the region.
As I've previously mentioned, our village has been denied the opportunity to cheer on the runners as they pass by - maybe because it's going to be whisked past 'in convoy'?
Ladies Beach Volleyball tickets are now on ebay at half face value, since the dress code has been changed and there is no requirement to wear a bikini.
Instead of dropping Boris from a helicopter, can we build a big cage in the stadium and drop Boris and Ken both in it armed with combat knives, in a "two men enter, one man leaves" sort of way. Beat having an election, I think.
Yes, that is Andy Murray standing next to Jessica Ennis.
