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Old 8th Dec 2009, 19:07   #21 (permalink)
 
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Geez con, a bit on edge are we? Decaf might be in order. Since you seem to be in Oklahoma I guess it's, what, 13:00 by you now? Well, that's past the noon hour so perhaps a single-malt might be on order?

Just sayin'!
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Old 8th Dec 2009, 19:08   #22 (permalink)
 
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c-p, did the ATCO give you a bad clearance last night?
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Old 8th Dec 2009, 19:17   #23 (permalink)

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Naw you two, de devil made me do it. Somebody has to take the other side.

This is Jet Blast after all.

And my post was not directed to proper Air Traffic Controllers. However, I have to tell you that I have flown in parts of the world that where all the reasons the original poster claimed that prevented him from answering the radio are valid reasons to them as well.

One of the best.

"XXXX Control, N1234, over." repeated five times coming up on a FIR boundary.

"N1234, we are praying down here, we call you back."

So we hit the fix on the FIR boundary and hold for fifteen minutes before they called us back and gave us our clearence.
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Old 8th Dec 2009, 19:19   #24 (permalink)

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Con....

There are many, many reasons why an ATCO may not be able reply immediately...

Apart from the usual, co-ordination with other units - that kind of thing - even more important are those essentials in life that keep your ATCO a healthy, happy person.

Namely:
1) If, as an ATCO, you are interrupted mid-chocolate biscuit, it is NEVER acceptable to put it down and go back to it later. To do so will mean crumbs on the FPS display. That's messy.

2) If an ATCO's tea is cooling, and is *almost* too cold, the ATCO makes a split-second decision. If, by replying to the transmission immediately the aforementioned tea will drop to an undrinkable temperature, then the priority is to down the tea. The ATCO is then better equipped, by simple virtue of being happy, to take the call.

Those two points, as well as others are published in MATS Pt. 1.*


I hope that answers some of your queries.











* In invisible ink
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Old 8th Dec 2009, 19:29   #25 (permalink)

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Foxy, please read my second post. My first post in no way was directed toward real Air Traffic Controllers. In my wildest imagination I could not ever believe that a proper ATC would say that they only occasionally fell fast asleep.

After over 40 years of flying all over this old globe we live on I realize that there are many reasons that that my initial call is not answered and I never give it a second thought. I have missed a few call in my career as well, but never because I was making tea.

But I do understand the old 'on the land line' trick, used it myself I have.
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Old 8th Dec 2009, 19:36   #26 (permalink)

Luvverley!
 
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Con, my dear, we cross-posted

Quote:
But I do understand the old 'on the land line' trick, used it myself I have.
Quite often it's actually true!

In all seriousness, I have flown commercially as pilot's assistant many times. I do know what life is like the other side of the office. Tepid coffee and stale sarnies, I know we live in the lap of (relative) luxury down here in our glass towers!

Oh and,
Quote:
I could not ever believe that a proper ATC would say that they only occasionally fell fast asleep.
Always alert, always ready.
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Old 8th Dec 2009, 20:18   #27 (permalink)
 
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How about "Stanby"
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Old 8th Dec 2009, 21:32   #28 (permalink)
 
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With respect, and as a dispasionate outsider who will, I hope, never fly helicopters over the North Sea:

The last two major "At Sea" helicopter disasters the pilots have had remarkably little time to pass the message. Maybe he's the nervous type and likes to be sure someone is actually listening.

Smart Alec answers are wonderful on PPRuNe but maybe reassurance is more suitable.
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Old 8th Dec 2009, 21:38   #29 (permalink)

More than just an ATCO
 
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"Calling Maastricht, go away" always worked for me.
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Old 8th Dec 2009, 22:53   #30 (permalink)

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Helicopter XYZ, were you looking for a landing clearance today?
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Old 8th Dec 2009, 23:01   #31 (permalink)

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"Was looking for tin of biccies for our tea". Tell me you're awake!"
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Old 8th Dec 2009, 23:09   #32 (permalink)
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You know, I hate to agree with con-pilot (not kidding).

I think he's got this one right, tho'.

In my experience, things I thought would be funny things to say on the radio tend to fall flat.

Later, I usually wished I'd not said them. (for example, when asked at DUS if we could go from the intersection, 'Jawohl!')

Whatever comeback you're seeking here, to redress the terrible affliction of a teensy windup that happens every 18 months or so, I suggest you overlook.


After all, if you offend him, he might not come back. And if his mates take the huff too, you might lose your job, and have to seek work as a rent boy.

And we don't want that to happen, do we?

Tail. Dog.
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Old 9th Dec 2009, 06:29   #33 (permalink)
 
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Thanks guys, for all the useful ammunition in here...

To those (mostly from across the Atlantic) who seem to have taken this seriously, may I point out that this has been posted in "Jet Blast" and not the ATC or Rotorheads forum.

And to Con-Pilot who is worried about the helicopter pilot's tea - yes we do arrange tea, coffee, full breakfasts and lunches for them. Worryingly enough, many of them ask for "Sticky Buns" at the same time.

No wonder our helicopters are always flying along nose-down...

Time for another nap, 78A is not due for another 10 minutes...
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Old 9th Dec 2009, 07:55   #34 (permalink)
RJM
 
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I know it's not usual to praise fellow PPRuNers outright, but that post (preceding, re ATCO's) of con-pilot's is Vintage PPRuNe and should be bottled. I've read it three times and spilled my drink each time. Cheers, con-pilot!
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Old 9th Dec 2009, 09:21   #35 (permalink)
 
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or : " This is Bombay, Bombay - shut up Delhi."

( where's Mumbai ? and why ? )
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Old 9th Dec 2009, 11:41   #36 (permalink)
 
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Angel

Quote:
There is one particular helicopter pilot working in the North Sea who, if he doesn't get an immediate answer on his first radio call to an offshore installation, will say "Sorry to have woken you up"
The largest balloon is easily woken.....

by a little PRICK
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Old 9th Dec 2009, 18:33   #37 (permalink)

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Make your pilot read this. Should numb the smart humour right out of him.
Should numb everything out of him come to that. It did me.
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Old 9th Dec 2009, 19:31   #38 (permalink)

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Quote:
And to Con-Pilot who is worried about the helicopter pilot's tea - yes we do arrange tea, coffee, full breakfasts and lunches for them. Worryingly enough, many of them ask for "Sticky Buns" at the same time.
You do, well that changes everything. Next time tell him to bugger off and be nice or they'll get no tea, tell them I said so.
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Old 9th Dec 2009, 19:42   #39 (permalink)
 
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Or you can continue giving them their sticky buns. (What are sticky buns anyway? Inquiring Yank minds wanna know!) But they just might be sticky for an entirely different reason!!!!!
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Old 9th Dec 2009, 20:49   #40 (permalink)
 
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Or give them burnt sticky buns and cold tea, and when they complain tell them sorry, we were too busy manning the radio to pay attention to baking your sticky buns

Perhaps not the cold tea, that might just be too much below the belt
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