con-pilot

If you saw me in the back of a police car, what would you think I had been arrested for?

Answer, then ask the question about yourself.

Cacophonix

At the risk of being inane, I don't know what you look like so I would never know it was you even if you were in the back. of police car and I saw you.

No_Speed_Restriction

I'd probably wonder if you'd been tazered to the extreme by the local trigger happy sheriff; kind of a fashionable trend these days.

tony draper

Been in the back of a few Police cars just in ones professional capacity of course, mostly being taken to the station to show em how to work the bloody multiplexer,,,again.

con-pilot

I'll have a ruddy giant name tag hung around my neck.

Paradise Lost

Ahhhh! Con P you've obviously been lifted for nicking someone else's "ruddy giant name tag".
Me, I've been pinched for planting tons of gelignite under the Houses of Parliament, London, England!

BlooMoo

You, in 2009 somewhere in the USA? - ThoughtCrime.

Me? - Doing 70.00001 mph on the A90 near Forfar.

west lakes

Er, cruelty to Brussels Sprouts!





I know thw way to the door

Solid Rust Twotter

You: Punching a politician.

Me: Putting the boot in once the barsteward's down. Probably have to take me away in an ambulance with a Faraday cage as I'll be lit up like a neon sign from all the tazering required to get me off the thing.

bnt

I suspect the former is one of those questions where the answer would say more about me than it would about you - especially since I don't know you or anything about you. For example, if I thought you'd be one of those pilots dragged from the cockpit with brandy breath, you'd turn that back on me and tell me I had either a strong aversion to drink or a drinking problem! So, I will not venture an answer to the first question - and no, the example I gave does not tell you anything about me, I just read it off the forum.

The latter question: some kind of false accusation or misunderstanding.

If I sound suspicious of the motives behind these questions, it's because I'm suspicious of any and all forms of psychoanalysis, professional or amateur. This kind of leading question can be filed under "amateur".

tinpis

Con
Drunk in charge of a marine vessel?

CityofFlight

Con-Pilot...arrested for serving alcohol to a male minor in his pub.


CofF, arrested for allowing said minor to drive her home.
(Mrs Robinson! )

galaxy flyer

C-P

Running a restaurant and bar without a license! 20kg of corned beef for St Paddy's Day, likely story.

GF

Dushan

Associating with shady characters. Giving them lifts all over the country, buying them cigarettes and MacDonald's hamburgers... Visiting Cuba, one too many times.

CityofFlight

Aaaah, yes, Dushan...the Cuban influence. How negligent of me....or him....or me.









(guess I'll be driving home alone from C-P's pub)

V2-OMG!

Well, since I'm not sure if that hillbillyism is an act or not, how about this:
Leaving your outside Christmas decorations up all year, in violation of township bylaw #78936?

I didn't know Oklahoma had such big trees......or is that what you get from spitting all those cherry pits off the front porch?

con-pilot

What's wrong with you woman, them thar be Pine trees!

By gum golly we ain't got no cherries round here. ( )

That there picture you done did show be a picture of Billy Boy Clinton's ol' double wide over thar in Arkansas, pronounced Are-kansas.

Naw, if I was ever in the back seat of a police car, it would because they would be giving me a ride home or to a bar where we could all get a drink.


Actually I have ridden in the back of a lot of Police cars, but I was on official duty when I did.

Buster Hyman

You: Impersonating a Pilot.

Me: Assault & Battery of one H. Hughes. ("He nicked my fishnets again!")

V2-OMG!

Quote:

Well, since I'm not sure if that hillbillyism is an act or not, how about this:

Questionaire for con-pilot.

1. Do you let your 12 year old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids?
o Yes
o No
o Sometimes

2. Does the Kelly Blue Book value on your truck go up and down, depending on how much gas is in it?
o Yes
o No
o Who is Kelly Blue Book?

3. Do you ever have to go outside to get something from the fridge?
o Yes
o No
o Not anymore

4. Do you have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard?
o Yes
o No

5. Have you ever lit a match in the bathroom and your trailer exploded right off its wheels?
o Yes
o No
o Once, but I can explain.

6. Did you have to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures?
o Yes
o No

7. Has your wife's hairdo ever been ruined by a ceiling fan?
o Yes
o No

8. Has your front porch ever collapsed, killing all of your dogs?
o Yes
o No

9. Does the Halloween pumpkin on your porch have more teeth than your spouse?
o Yes
o No
o That depends on how many teeth the pumpkin has.

10. Do you ever wonder how service stations keep their bathrooms so clean?
o Yes
o No

11. Has your property ever been mistaken for a recycling center?
o Yes
o No
o No, but sometimes people stop by thinking that I'm having a yard sale.

12. Do you think a "subdivision" is part of a math problem?
o Yes
o No

13. Do you have a working T.V. sitting on top of a non-working T.V.?
o Yes
o No
o Not anymore

14. If a tornado hit your neighborhood, would it do $100,000 worth of improvements?
o Yes
o No

15. Has the Salvation Army ever declined your mattress?
o Yes
o No
o Why would I give them my mattress?

16. Do you keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table?
o Yes
o No
o Not when we have company.

17. Do you have a complete set of salad bowls that all say "Cool Whip" on the side?
o Yes
o No

18. Have you ever asked the preacher, "How's it hangin'?"
o Yes
o No
o Just once

19. Have you ever used a rag for a gas cap?
o Yes
o No

20. Does it matter what type of material you use to "skirt" your trailer?
o Yes
o No

Spotlight

General demeaner Con. Are you pulling a jumper over your head, or straight and stony faced. Or are the cops sheilding you from the cameras to cover up the quiet chat they had with you?

Sincerly hope it never happens.