We get paid at beginning of the month, by week 2/3 maximum, she completely runs out of money, leaving me to pay for everything again, including getting to and from work, food, and EVERY little tiny thing.
Cant remember a single month in the past 2 years where this hasn't happened. When I tell her to watch her spending, all she says is
"I Wont run out of money OK, I've got loads left", and she runs out 2 weeks later
Couple of things are not clear here ... when you say "we" get paid, I assume you are both employed and earning money is that correct?
Then you say that she has run out of money leaving you to pay for everything ... am I right in assuming that up to the point where she runs out of money, she is paying for everything and you are paying for nothing?
If that is the case then, as I see it for three weeks out of every four, your wife is paying for everything and for ONE week, perhaps a bit more, you pay.
Seems to me she is paying the lions share of the expenses and you are a miserable git who should get off his arse and pay his fair share.
Unless you haven't explained the situation very well and it's not the way you make it seem ... ?
Bluey has it in one. We can either offer you serious advice, or mercilessly take the piss, but either way, we need more information.
Nature of relationship, living arrangements, little people if any, division of financial responsibilities, relative incomes, etc.
Hold nothing back.
I believe the fault lies in your perception that you actually ever have any money. From the moment you married all money became hers, you just get to carry it around for a while so it makes you feel better....
Couple of things are not clear here ... when you say "we" get paid, I assume you are both employed and earning money is that correct?
Then you say that she has run out of money leaving you to pay for everything ... am I right in assuming that up to the point where she runs out of money, she is paying for everything and you are paying for nothing?
If that is the case then, as I see it for three weeks out of every four, your wife is paying for everything and for ONE week, perhaps a bit more, you pay.
Seems to me she is paying the lions share of the expenses and you are a miserable git who should get off his arse and pay his fair share.
?
Errrr ok, you obviously like to make assumptions, not knowing all the facts. Why would I tell her to watch her spending if she were spending it on me and the house?
Well if it makes things any clearer, her money goes on things like clothes, buying her mates drinks and meals, giving tenners to the homeless,buying presents for other people and I honestly cannot remember the last time she has paid for any household things such as bogroll, milk, food.
All groceries, catfood, anyhting the house needs are bought my myself, so if this is called being a miserable git who doesnt pay for his fair share then so be it.
That's what you get when you don't TELL people the facts, mate. You think everyone here is a mind-reader? You're happy enough to let others (Sallyann1234, ArthurR) make the assumption that the money she spent was given to her by you ... I chose a different line of thought. So don't whine about any of the assumptions that have been made because that wouldn't have happened if you had bothered to give us some actual information to go on. Or ... sorry, did you want everyone to pat you on the back and say "poor thing" without asking any questions and expressing opinions.
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All groceries, catfood, anyhting the house needs are bought my myself, so if this is called being a miserable git who doesnt pay for his fair share then so be it.
Yet by your own admission, this happens only in the last week or so of every month. (... by week 2/3 maximum, she completely runs out of money, leaving me to pay for everything again ...) Something doesn't add up here.
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... leaving me to pay for everything again, including getting to and from work ...
She normally pays your bus/train fares or fuel or whatever and you then have to pay that yourself in the last week or so?? Or are you saying that you pay for her travelling expenses? That really isn't very clear.
And I didn't say you were a miserable git, I said that IF what I suggested was the case, THEN you were a miserable git. Obviously it was not ... which means that you're not. (Re-read the last line of my first post.)
Location: Where the singing aardvarks told me I should be but when they stop singing I'm gonna escape
Posts: 1,053
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buying her mates drinks and meals
Well that's enough for a birching for a start.
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giving tenners to the homeless
Tenners!!?? It's one thing buying 'The Big Issue' or throwing a few coins to someone in genuine need, but f**king tenners!?!?
Forget the birching FFS, hire a hitman!
I am very lucky with Mr. ATS being in charge of everything i.e. he pays all the bills, the massive every 2 weeks food shopping and so on. I tried to convince him to let me contribute but no luck (which made me feel a bit "useless" shall i say). He always says "I earn enough so don't you worry about expenses, what you earn is yours and do whatever you want with the money you earn" He even suggested i stop working as we don't need me to work; i passed
What i am trying to say is that i am so lucky to have a man who worships the ground i'm walking on; and he's looking after me and sees that i am happy. And no, it's not about the money, it's how he treats me (and nice treatment sometimes involves money too). Call me old fashioned (ok, i am old fashioned) but isn't it true now a days that "the man looks after the woman as best he can?".
The missus in cause seems to believe that too. I agree that giving a tenner to beggers is too much, as is paying for her friends drinks and meals. I would suggest to sit her down and have a chat about the above issues. Don't use the "i ALWAYS pay for everything" line or "YOU always spend money on useless things" as it'll probably cause an argument. Just simply say to her that you struggle with the payments at times and ask her why does she feel she has to pay for "friends" meals or buy them presents?
As for these so called "friends" well i don't believe they are real friends if they keep letting her to take care of the bills; my friends go bananas if i even suggest to take care of the bill and if i do pay that time, they will pay next time. Simple as, common sense and nothing else.
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