During the third hour of a five hour drive home on friday, I started to daydream about what i'd like to do to some of the idiotic drivers out there that make such a journey a misery.
I settled on some sort of remote control device that I could either inflict a light maiming with or even just a nasty skin disease for the lesser crimes of, say, cutting me up on a round-a-bout.
The reason I ask if this means I'm a bad person is that I would actually use it, and often, if given the opportunity. I would actually like to see these people in pain! The notion of this worried me slightly, although in hindsight it could have been the psychosis induced by taking nearly three hours to travel 6 miles talking.
If given the opportunity to have and use such a tool, would you?
Location: Hughes Point, where life is great! Was also resident on page 13, but now I'm lost in Cyberspace....
Age: 48
Posts: 3,289
I have often toyed with the idea of installing an LED message display across my rear window, I would pre programme certain road safety messages and flash them up as the need arises...
Howard, couldn't agree more. I have a desire for a similar system, things such as 'get off the phone you tw@t' and 'get off my ar$e' would be most immediately useful. Failing that, G-UNIT yes I'd love a device like this. It may well make you a bad person, I love the idea but then I'm a bit intolerant of people being idiots. Just don't daydream about it too much and crash
My better half works in the design department of a well known car manufacturer and I've been trying to convince her to include a remote controlled explosive charge somewhere in the engine block. If someone decides to be stupid on the road then just point the control in the car's general direction, press the button and..... Bang goes the engine
Edited to say that this should be a compulsory fitting for all white vans!!
Re the LED message suggestion, I had a slightly surreal experience of just that, only a few weeks ago. Driving my normal route home, very late one evening, I spotted a Police car in my rear view mirror. Naturally I was already travelling at the 40mph speed limit, which I maintained as the police vehicle very gently overtook me in lane two. Once well ahead, he then switched on a repeating "Thank You" message, before disappearing up a slip road! I'm still not sure if he was just being polite, or simply playing with a new toy.
You can buy the LED message display units for 40 quid, they can be an extra brake unit, a fog light or to display any message of your choice, they have a memory of 300 characters and can store 5 seperate messages...And yes, you can programme in swear words. I saw them at a bike show and asked the chap, they were on special at 29.99.....Resisted temptation as it would only end in tears
I am borderline psychotic according to my counsellors!
They did the LED thing on Top Gear during their caravaning holiday. They apologized to drivers stuck behind them and let them know that James May was driving.
I probably shouldn't get one of those because I'd be tempted to tell off every idiot I came across on the road and end up getting myself in a wee bit of trouble with messages like:
"The sun's out, turn off the fog lights moron!"
"Move over jackass, stop hogging the passing lane for no reason"
"Your brights are on, are you too stupid to realise this or seriously trying to blind me?"
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The reason I ask if this means I'm a bad person is that I would actually use it
G-UNIT if you're a bad person for thinking that, then I must be the devil. I spend countless hours stuck in Istanbul traffic every day, which is widely accepted to be among the worst in the world, and I think to myself that most of my fellow citizens haven't evolved beyond being monkeys and should be exterminated or released into the wild to make way for us humans... Perhaps I'm a psychopath, the traffic here does that to you. If they really had one of those remote control things, I'd buy 10, and then steal yours.
Mmm Problem is G-UNIT, if it was a universally available device, you may yourself end up with a light maiming, or nasty skin disease, Unless you really are as good a driver as you think.
Location: Hughes Point, where life is great! Was also resident on page 13, but now I'm lost in Cyberspace....
Age: 48
Posts: 3,289
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Howard, couldn't agree more. I have a desire for a similar system, things such as 'get off the phone you tw@t' and 'get off my ar$e' would be most immediately useful.
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I probably shouldn't get one of those because I'd be tempted to tell off every idiot I came across on the road and end up getting myself in a wee bit of trouble with messages like:
"The sun's out, turn off the fog lights moron!"
"Move over jackass, stop hogging the passing lane for no reason"
"Your brights are on, are you too stupid to realise this or seriously trying to blind me?"
The problem is the silly twats would be saying, "look at that guy, I wonder who he means"?
My old boss had a hundred watt amp in his boot and two horn speakers behind the radiator grill, a microphone on the dash allowed him to hurl abuse at other road users who annoyed him,this was a long time ago before cars had 1000 watt music systems installed,not sure if it was legal even then.
In a similar vein, many years ago I had a friend who owned a rather fast sporty saloon, and he used to delight in driving it to the limit, which made some of his passengers a tad nervous.
He mounted a small aircraft flap gauge low on the right side of his instrument panel, where it could not be seen by the front seat passenger. This gauge was connected via a thin plastic tube to a small pair of bellows under the carpet on the passengers side.
Approaching a corner fairly fast the flap gauge would operate and he would turn to the passenger and say "take your foot off that brake".
What about phone numbers being displayed on the plates?
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I have often toyed with the idea of installing an LED message display across my rear window, I would pre programme certain road safety messages and flash them up as the need arises...
So I am not the only one?
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During the third hour of a five hour drive home on friday, I started to daydream about what i'd like to do to some of the idiotic drivers out there that make such a journey a misery.
I've often thought there should be a penalty lane that good drivers (scored using a monitored point system) could send such morons that make our commute miserable. Another path to the 'slaw' lane would be an electronic court where your fellow drivers can drum you out of the group immediately. (works for the crows)
The system could involve police, computer monitoring or (my best idea) a high speed derailing mechanism that forces the offender off the main roadway onto a paved pergatory inhabited by like-minded morons.
During traffic tie-ups,I have noticed that no matter how good the driver in front of you may be, eventually you will hate them.
Last edited by vapilot2004; 27th Feb 2007 at 09:39.
What a bunch of boring, whinging, self congratulatory, old farts you lot are!!
Driving in the UK is becoming one of the most over-controlled and unenjoyable events in the world. You only have to be slightly out of the mundane ordinary on the road and you have loads of people rubbishing you and asking for extreme penalties to be inflicted on you
So none of you have ever forgotten your rear fog lamps are on, or driven over a speed limit, or in a way that might just get others upset? Yea right, pull the other one
Me, I'd like a weapon that zapped all the self righteous to@@ers who think they are the best drivers in the world
I was already travelling at the 40mph speed limit, which I maintained as the police vehicle very gently overtook me in lane two. Once well ahead, he then switched on a repeating "Thank You" message, before disappearing up a slip road! I'm still not sure if he was just being polite, or simply playing with a new toy.
