For those who listen to the 12th Man (probably only the Aussies) - I just want to say I love this stuff. Especially the new album - Boned!
For those not familiar with the 12th Man - it's a take off of the Australian Cricket commentary team at Channel 9. The guys name, who takes the piss, is Billy Birmingham - and does a smashing effort at taking the piss of every one of the guys that commentates.
In the new album he takes of John Howard.... there's a scene in parliament which is great... on the Golf Course... A poker game in heaven.
But my favorite part was the lunch. I'm going to recite it here because it's fantastic-
'Specials today are -
Soup of the day, a danks river bed moths broth, sprinkled with sundried blue/green algae
And we have 2 main course specials:
A chargrilled fillet of porpous, marinated in chilli-lime sharks blood, served on a bed of pureed sea horse,
Second, we've got a stuffed wallaby colon, (Thats the chefs specialty), thats served with rice, gum leaves, organic crushed and caramelized bull-ants, and thats lightly sauteed in butter and wombat urine.
Good onya Billy.... very smart, very witty... and very accurate!
Anyone else a fan? (Gee, he's been taking the piss for 22 years now...)
I'm a huge fan of Billy's stuff, but "Boned" certainly falls short of his normal standard and I was a little disappointed. To me it sounded like he was pissing in his own pocket a little, and re-hashed some of his old material ("Hey Richie.....how about an autograph?")
The re-release of "Marvelous" did kind of raise a chuckle, but overall I think Billy should hang up his piss taking hat.
Still, who of the Ozmates out there hasn't incorporated various Billy-isms into their life.
"GOTTIM! YES! PISS OFF! YOU'RE OUT!!! STICK THAT UP YER ASS TONY GREIG!" (or insert appropriate name here)
My personal fav is "gottim! yes, that'll fcuk his average!". Been overused of late with the English (ahem ahem) Cricket team out here, but have used it since i first heard it.
That and Tony Greig "I dont hold any grudges, to me a grudge is just somewhere to PARK YOUR CAR!", closely followed by Tony again "I'd say those little Sri Lankans are praying for the rain to get here and to get here FAAAAST".
Boned is a bit recycled and self indulgent, but ya gotta love Billy. Also very good on the Front Page Sports show too.
My favorite was Richie chatting to his french vineyard manager, Henrie Port, over the phone. 'Por le sake de fcuk' 'Remove votre digit and commencè le spray.' I've never heard the french language slaughtered in such a fine way...
My fave bits: from the first one, 'Tony Greig's' pitch ("putch"?) report and interview - 'ethnic' captain and 'Tony' are discussing one of the visiting team's batsmen who retired hurt: Captain: Coptone Indanatz Tony: Ooh, did he? Captain: No, you fcukwit, that's his name!
And on (I think) the second one - 'Richie's' recap of the previous day's play:
"Soon after the drinks break, he went for a slash outside the off stump and it just dribbled away down his leg side. The umpire had no hesitation in dismissing him for his little indiscretion, you can't get away with that sort of thing, not even here on the subcontinent."
Yeh - there was actually more to that one (on the 'wired world of sports') where an indian commentator said:
".... and he's just taking a slash outside off-stump, oooh, and he's mis-timed it completely and it just left trickling down his leg-side" (and in the background there's noises of a dude taking a piss!) some other greats from A.J Grieg
'Hord und Forst' - Hard and Fast
'Straight orf the meat orf the butt' (Straight off the meat of the bat) On 'The final dig' I loved the scene in the aeroplane where Tub's was sitting right next to the toilet..... "Oh geeze mate, ya might wanna see a doctor when ya get to perth".... and in the airport terminal they come across the 'Bankstown Fuglys'!! Some other of the great foreigners names: Wazee amad manrooter Halfa Dozen Marbars Wazee Acrim Whattaya MeanWazee On the new boned CD... Loved the scene in Parliament where the dude at the front "Mr Speaker" is just helplessly screaming..... "ORDER!.............ORDER!.................ORDER............ ....ORDER........... OR...... FKUCING...DER' !!! (Just like hows those clowns do it)..... It's also great how fast Tubby talks... and how they tell him to 'stick to ya fujitsu adds' ! Onya Billy!
Way past his use-by date now, I'm afraid, but lots of classics in the early days.
More names: Sleezy Winebarz Doubledeck Abbas Edrive Faskaz Areel Matafarkar
"Rubbish Binny was left out by the selectors, but no one collected him, so he came in at number eight... and a fcukin' lot of good he was, out for one"
"and for all you croquet fans out there, once again we've got fcukall for you on the show..."
"that very rootable darling of the ice Katarina Witt skates by..."
and my favourite one of all:
Gibbo: and we cross now to Bombay for an update on the one day international between Australia and India..... pause, crowd noises, then a perfect Richie Benaud voice.... " a typical stinkin' fcukin' hot day here in Bombay...."
It's not from "Boned" but my favourite clip is where Tony Greig is doing his pitch report having had a hair implant/transplant. Richie is muttering away and comes up with the description that cracks me up "........ it looks like f_cking road kill frisbied onto his head....". Classic.