Onan the Clumsy

I got this from Wikipedia:

The male dog has a bulbus glandis at the base of the penis, a spherical erectile tissue which traps the penis inside the female's vagina during copulation as it becomes engorged with blood. Once the penis is locked into the vagina by the bulbus glandis, the male lifts a leg and swings it over the female's back while turning around. The two stand with their hind ends touching and the penis locked inside the vagina while ejaculation occurs, decreasing leakage of semen from the vagina. Then the bulbus glandis disengorges, allowing the mates to separate.

They added the perhaps unnecessary note:

Virgin dogs can become quite distressed at finding themselves unable to separate during their first copulation.

I was unaware that this was the reason and, when I had considered it at all, had assumed it was due to incorrect target acquisition.

Still, you have to think it's preferable to a certain species of bee where the male's penis explodes after copulation, thus sealing whatever they call the bees female organs so that no other DNA can compete. It seems a bit of a high price to pay for both genders.

airship

This sounds like the classic defensive stance when there are just the 2 of you and you're surrounded by a horde of axe-weilding Norsemen...

Is there any connection?

G-CPTN

Is that what is meant by "Get knotted!"
?

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/get_knotted

Speedpig

There is an urban myth about a human couple who got dog knotted and died from exposure up against aome park gates during WWII. Allegedly too embarrassed to call for help. Who knew they were too embarrassed? Could they not offer assistance due to apoplexy?

Lon More

.... but, Onan, what were you looking for? Especially for that bit about the bees?
And why did I read it?

acbus1

Trismus can also be a problem during certain activities.

Lon More

Is that Abby Trismus?

SLFguy

"Is that what is meant by "Get knotted!" "


I er..um...once ..er...um..'got knotted'...

T'was an acute tortion of the teste (sp) where I had rolled over a couple of time in my sleep wherein one of said fellows rotated around the rigging of the other a couple of times and began to strangulate it.

(Trust me on the crying smilies)

Having got to the docs a couple of doors down, writhing in agony I found I had pitched up in what appeared to be a Sanatogen stampede, (well shuffle leastwise), bloody surgery looked like the 'We'll be calling the numbers very s-l-o-w-l-y' night at the bingo - all blue rinse wiv eau-de-cabbage.

Anyway to much tutting and gnashing of gums I was allowed to jump, ( ), the queue and see the doc... Immediate ambulance.

Arrived at Kings (?) in Dulwich only to find anaeth, (**** it), the gas geezer was off duty and would be 3 hours before they could unknacker me knackers.
No probs they say, we've got morphine...well I dunno if you've had it but it's the gear you need when you've got an imploding plum! Trouble is it don't just take the pain away, it banks it for you - sweet mother Mary when I thought it was safe to move - wallop!....felt like 27 Turkish wrestlers were pulling on me.

Just when I thought this can't get any worse I opened my eyes to find the sheet lifted from off the cage thingy I was laying under and I could hear voices...

Slowly the sheet went down...to reveal about 15 trainee docs, (many with the chest appendage bits. .

I have to say tho...it was very, very, very cold in that ward.

G-CPTN

Great stuff is morphine. Whilst in ICU (they called it ITU - treatment), I was allotted my own applicator. When you need a little something, just press this button, press this button, press this button, press this button. A 'shot' of morphine was injected directly into the bloodstream. THAT'S the way to take it. It should be available free from chemists (though I'd happily pay for it). Nirvana is another word for it.
I had to pretend to be in pain in order to get a couple of extra days on it.

G-CPTN

They were probably having a larf . . .


MY experience of trainee doctors was in Queen's Medical, Nottingham. The Consultant (who admitted he hadn't a clue what was wrong with me) asked whether I'd mind if he brought along his students. No problem. The Consultant explained to his class that I would answer honestly and truthfully any questions that they asked me, and they were then to decide on a diagnosis (after they'd all finished). HE and I were the only ones who knew that 'he didn't have a clue' and he was just fishing for ideas