"Is that what is meant by "Get knotted!" "
I er..um...once ..er...um..'got knotted'...
T'was an acute tortion of the teste (sp) where I had rolled over a couple of time in my sleep wherein one of said fellows rotated around the rigging of the other a couple of times and began to strangulate it.
(Trust me on the crying smilies)
Having got to the docs a couple of doors down, writhing in agony I found I had pitched up in what appeared to be a Sanatogen stampede, (well shuffle leastwise), bloody surgery looked like the 'We'll be calling the numbers very s-l-o-w-l-y' night at the bingo - all blue rinse wiv eau-de-cabbage.
Anyway to much tutting and gnashing of gums I was allowed to jump, (
), the queue and see the doc... Immediate ambulance.
Arrived at Kings (?) in Dulwich only to find anaeth, (**** it), the gas geezer was off duty and would be 3 hours before they could unknacker me knackers.
No probs they say, we've got morphine...well I dunno if you've had it but it's the gear you need when you've got an imploding plum! Trouble is it don't just take the pain away, it banks it for you - sweet mother Mary when I thought it was safe to move - wallop!....felt like 27 Turkish wrestlers were pulling on me.
Just when I thought this can't get any worse I opened my eyes to find the sheet lifted from off the cage thingy I was laying under and I could hear voices...
Slowly the sheet went down...to reveal about 15 trainee docs, (many with the chest appendage bits.
I have to say tho...it was very, very, very cold in that ward.