1.) Get rid of ASBOs they are useless, instead if a yob throws a brick through your window, you get to throw the brick at their head. If they set fire to your car, you get to set fire to them, etc. Lets see how long they last! 2.) Get rid of the dole, you only get to claim it for proper reasons and only for six months. None of this nonsense about I can't work 'cause I got lumbago. 3.) Get rid of road tax, what is the point of it? Because apparently it is not spent on the roads it is supposed to pay for. We pay enough for fuel and that can cover it. 4.) Cyclists must have insurance. 5.) All drivers must have insurance, we'll have a sticker for this. Any scroat without will be shot on sight. 6.) You must take a test to prove you will be a good parent before you are allowed to breed. 7.) Fat yorkshire men with two jags who don't pay council tax will be shot. (Mr Draper can have this job.) 8.) Fat Scottish miserable gits who live on Downing street will be shot. (see 7.) 9.) Smiley, gesticulating tossers who deny their roots and whose wife has a really annoying smile, will be shot. (Mr D, better make sure you've loaded that gun) 10.) See Whirls point re: crap driving. 11.) Easy subjects at university will be allowed to stay, but you have to fund it yourself, no loans. The money will be spent on proper subjects like medicine. Doctors we need, media luvies....(Mr D) 12.) Stop paying footballers inordinate amounts of money, spend the money on hospitals and schools. 13.) Cut ties with Europe. 14.) Chavvy little 1.1 cars, with bean can exhausts, will be blown up and the drivers shot. 15.) If you are going to wear a baseball cap, you must wear it properly, if it is on backwards, sideways or tilted on the back of your head you will be shot on sight.
I think that's it for now.
16.) You must pass an exam before you are allowed to travel and you absolutely must read the terms and conditions. Ignorance is not an excuse.
My ideal parliament so far would be headed by Monsieur Draper,VFR and Lady Lex!
I would whole heartedly agree with an annual cull on any chavs wearing hoodies who congregate outside SPAR shops and try to bum ciggies.We should be allowed a hunting license for them-perhaps it would aid their fantasies about being 'gangstas' if the risk of a 5.56 to the head was there!
People must be trained how to wash up properly and giving sympathy to someone with man flu will be banned...it's a cold, get over it. Tts that smarmily tell me 'excuse me, this is is first class' when I get on the train will be thrown off..'only if you'll excuse me thumping you.' This could be contentious, but I would ban Craig David and all the girls at high schools across the country who adore him, they made my life a misery, it's my turn. Deal Or No Deal would be removed from the airwaves effective immediately. Sanitary products would be free on the NHS. I could go on for days...
Im telling you, we need a party starting, "Pprune power" (ok im sh t with names) and get into government. Solid Rust Twotter, you have got it right, take over the world, thats what i say. Get rid of the tw ts that are in power.