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15th June 2005, 18:12
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#1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: UK/New Zealand
Posts: 1,669
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The Best put downs.....
Read this one a year or two ago...but age has not dimmed its effect.
With the ashes series soon to begin..this is quite topical......
Ed O'Brandis (a zimbabwe cricketer) walks to the crease to replace a teamate who has just been dismissed by no one other than Shane Warne...
Warne says.."Jeez Ed youv'e put on a bit of weight since I saw you last..."
O'Brandis replies..."Thats cos everytime I F*** you missus warnie...she gives me a biscuit!"
Further put-downs greatly appreciated...
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15th June 2005, 18:22
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#2 (permalink)
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I'matightbastard
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,756
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maybe he is confusing himself with the family's Alsation
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15th June 2005, 18:24
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#3 (permalink)
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Planet Tharg
Posts: 2,178
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That would be Edo Brandis.
Good bloke....  |
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15th June 2005, 18:27
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#4 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: UK/New Zealand
Posts: 1,669
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Thanks Mr twotter...Im suitably impressed...mayby I should have added the disclaimer..
"the names have been changed to protect the innocent"  |
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15th June 2005, 18:32
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#5 (permalink)
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Under the clag EGKA
Posts: 722
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Heard in the days when female personel didn't have the option of the courts.
"Ooh just like a penis - only smaller."
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15th June 2005, 18:37
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#6 (permalink)
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Planet Tharg
Posts: 2,178
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.........................  |
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15th June 2005, 18:43
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#7 (permalink)
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I'll mak siccar
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Tir nan Og
Posts: 244
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Atlanta, Ga. Lad of the village discusses terms with lady of the evening. Tells her: Na, too much.
Departs down street.
Voice follows: "Y'all go to He' yo whaht boy, wid yo liddle pencil peter".
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15th June 2005, 19:05
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#8 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: the real deal
Posts: 144
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Well said Ford Fairlane........  |
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15th June 2005, 19:15
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#9 (permalink)
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Tabs please !
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Biffins Bridge
Posts: 308
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A great put down is....
"you appear to have an inferiority complex....... and a rather poor one at that !"
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15th June 2005, 19:23
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#10 (permalink)
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Newcastle/UK
Posts: 1,124
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Churchill come across a Labour MP fumbling in his pockets outside a public phone box.
"Ah Mr Churchill, could you lend me thrupence to phone a friend?"
"Certainly, heres sixpence, phone all of them"
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15th June 2005, 20:33
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#11 (permalink)
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Manchester
Age: 39
Posts: 276
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Winston Churchill would appear to be the master of the put-down.
Especially when engaged in debate with his sparring partner, Lady Astor.
"Sir, you are drunk!"
"Madam, you are ugly, but in the morning I shall be sober!"
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15th June 2005, 20:55
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#12 (permalink)
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Ohcirrej
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: This is the internet FFS.........
Posts: 2,934
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"You suck more than Plazbot"
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15th June 2005, 21:08
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#13 (permalink)
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Avoid imitations
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Wandering in hyperspace and the FIR.
Posts: 5,334
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"Were you born that stupid - or did you go to a special school?"
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15th June 2005, 21:12
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#14 (permalink)
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Banned... Persona Non Grata
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Europe
Posts: 352
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"You're so ugly that when you enter a room the flowers go out"
Or
"You're so fat that when you go out the tide comes in"
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15th June 2005, 21:42
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#15 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 21
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Pedantic mode on
Actually, it's Eddo Brandes.
Pedantic mode off
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15th June 2005, 21:51
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#16 (permalink)
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Plastic PPRuNer
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Cape Town
Posts: 1,395
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'Ow was it?
To tell you the truth darlin', I had better sex when I was in prison...
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15th June 2005, 21:52
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#17 (permalink)
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I was suitabily amussed by some leaked (or so they say) Army officer assessment reports. One in particular:
"His men will follow him anywhere. If only out of curiosity."
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15th June 2005, 22:25
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#18 (permalink)
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Greetings From Hell's Dark Heart
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The Emerald City
Age: 56
Posts: 121
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Lady Astor:
"Sir, if you were my husband, I would put poison in your coffee"
Winston:
"And if you were my wife, I would drink it."
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16th June 2005, 00:26
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#19 (permalink)
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Markham, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 159
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See Job 8:2 King James version.
After an excellent landing you can use the airplane again!
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16th June 2005, 00:42
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#20 (permalink)
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Newcastle/UK
Posts: 1,124
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Angry husband to Groucho Marks,.
"You swine I just saw you kissing my wife"
Groucho
"No I wasn't, I was just whispering something in her mouth"
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