The Three Mechanics
Three mechanics decided to pop down to their local pub for a beer.
One of the guys says to the other two, “Have you seen the new barman, Maurice? He has a really great trick with car keys!”
“Really?” replies one mechanic, “What’s the trick then?”
“Well, he drops his trousers and you insert your car keys up his a***e and he can tell you the year and model of your car!”
Off they go to the ‘Fudge Packers Arms’ and sure enough there’s Maurice behind the bar, buffing up his finger nails.
“So, we hear that you have an interesting trick to impress us with.” Says the first mechanic.
“Oooh yes, I certainly do!” replied Maurice, at which he turned around, dropped his trousers and said, “Come on then boys, who’s first?”
The first mechanic gets out his car keys and inserts them in the required orifice. “Push it in further!” shouts Maurice, “Turn it left a bit!” “Now right a bit!” and then he states “Ford Escort 1992 model”
“Amazing!” exclaims the first mechanic, removes his keys, wipes them on his greasy overalls and puts them back into his pocket.
“Next!” invites Maurice. The second mechanic gets his keys out and inserts it.
“Push it in further!” exclaims Maurice, “Turn it to the right a bit!” “Now to the left a bit.” And then he chimes “Long Wheel Based Trabant, 1988!”
“Spot on!” exclaims the second mechanic and removes his keys.
“Next!” shouts Maurice. The third mechanic gets out his keys, then thinks he’ll beat Maurice at his little trick, so he puts them back and gets out a sparkplug.
He inserts this and Maurice hollers, “Push it in further!” “No, further still!” “Now turn it a bit to the left.” “Now to the right!” “Oohh a bit more to the right!”
And then he shouts…