Astrodome

Six of the seven dwarfs are sitting around the house one day when
Sleepy rushes in and says, "Guess what guys, I've won a trip to see the Pope!"

Everyone gets all excited and chants, "We finally get to ask him, we finally get to ask him."

The next day, they are standing in front of the Pope, Dopey out in front of the other six. All the other six start pushing Dopey and saying, "Go ahead, Dopey, ask him, ask him!"

The Pope looks at Dopey and asks, "Do you have a question to ask me, young man?"
Dopey looks up shyly and says, "Well, yes."
The Pope tells him to go ahead and ask.
Dopey asks, "Well, do....do they have nuns in Alaska?"
The Pope replies, "Well, yes, I'm sure we have nuns in Alaska."

The others all keep nudging Dopey and chanting, "Ask him the rest, Dopey, ask him the rest!"

The Pope asks Dopey if there's more to his question, and Dopey continues, "Well, uh, do they have, uh, black nuns in Alaska?"
To which the Pope replies, "Well, my son, I think there must be a few black nuns in Alaska, yes."

Still not satisfied, the others keep saying, "Ask him the last part, Dopey, ask him the last part!"
The Pope asks Dopey, "Is there still more to your question?"
To which Dopey replies, "Well, uh, yeah.....are there, uh, are there any midget black nuns in Alaska?"
The startled Pope replies, "Well, no, my son, I really don't think there are any midget black nuns in Alaska."

At this, Dopey turns all kinds of colors, and the others start laughing, and yelling...


"Dopey screwed a penguin, Dopey screwed a penguin!"

Jelly Baby Freak

The Three Mechanics

Three mechanics decided to pop down to their local pub for a beer.
One of the guys says to the other two, “Have you seen the new barman, Maurice? He has a really great trick with car keys!”
“Really?” replies one mechanic, “What’s the trick then?”
“Well, he drops his trousers and you insert your car keys up his a***e and he can tell you the year and model of your car!”

Off they go to the ‘Fudge Packers Arms’ and sure enough there’s Maurice behind the bar, buffing up his finger nails.

“So, we hear that you have an interesting trick to impress us with.” Says the first mechanic.
“Oooh yes, I certainly do!” replied Maurice, at which he turned around, dropped his trousers and said, “Come on then boys, who’s first?”

The first mechanic gets out his car keys and inserts them in the required orifice. “Push it in further!” shouts Maurice, “Turn it left a bit!” “Now right a bit!” and then he states “Ford Escort 1992 model”

“Amazing!” exclaims the first mechanic, removes his keys, wipes them on his greasy overalls and puts them back into his pocket.

“Next!” invites Maurice. The second mechanic gets his keys out and inserts it.
“Push it in further!” exclaims Maurice, “Turn it to the right a bit!” “Now to the left a bit.” And then he chimes “Long Wheel Based Trabant, 1988!”
“Spot on!” exclaims the second mechanic and removes his keys.

“Next!” shouts Maurice. The third mechanic gets out his keys, then thinks he’ll beat Maurice at his little trick, so he puts them back and gets out a sparkplug.
He inserts this and Maurice hollers, “Push it in further!” “No, further still!” “Now turn it a bit to the left.” “Now to the right!” “Oohh a bit more to the right!”
And then he shouts…
.
.
.
.
.
.”Eeeeeeh CHAMPION!”

sprocket

I dont think Dopey would have been to Alaska then.