THE SPICE GIRL JOB APPLICATION
1. In the space provided, tell us why you wanna, why you really, really, wanna be a Spice Girl.
2. Do you have any detectable vestige of talent, besides your hooters?
3. Would it, like, bother you to be the target of unrelenting hatred?
4. How would you best describe yourself?
( ) An energetic self-starter.. .( ) A team player.. .( ) A tasty, albeit untalented, bit of crumpet.
5. True or false: A mosh pit is the seed of the mosh fruit.
6. "I am willing to trade sexual favours for a career in the music industry."
( )Yes ( )No
7. How many times have you been kicked out of a karaoke bar?
8. Does nudity bother you? If so, should I put my clothes back on?
9. Explain the difficulties in identifying the source of individual free will in light of the deterministic theories of neuro-chemical medicine and modern behaviouralist psychology. Just kidding!! Seriously, do you like leather mini-skirts?
10. Are you deceptively attractive in coloured or stroboscopic light?
11. Choose an appropriate nickname:
Sexy, Nasty, Sweetie, Chlamydia.
12. Have you ever been convicted of combining vertical and horizontal stripes?
13. If two trains leave Liverpool an hour apart at 90 , and 75 kilometres an hour, respectively, how would you look in spandex?
14. Does the term "force majeure in perpetuity" make you afraid or just giggly?
15. If required as part of your deal with Satan, would you be willing to help alleviate Prince Charles's loneliness?