BUMPFF

There was a young girl from Baroda
Who lived in a golden pagoda
The walls of her halls
Were lined with the b@lls
And the p****s of the men that bestrode her

maninblack

There was a young girl of Pitlochry
Had sex with a man in a rockery.
She said to her chum.
"These stones hurt my bum,
This isn't a f#)k it's a mockery."



I'll get me coat.

pigboat

I have a good one, but I'm missing a line. What rhymes with Nantucket?

Dead_Heading

There once was a girl from Westham,
Who went for a ride on a tram
She kissed the conductor
Who turned round and f**** her
and now shes pushing a pram

Techchick

There was a young man from Nantucket,
Who got hit on the head with a bucket,
He fell onto a sheep,
In an unconcious heap,
When he woke, he proceeded to f**k it......

Jerricho

There was a young man from Nambalah,
Who was caught f**king an old dead Koala.
He said "You gotta take care,
When you hump a live bear,
Cause sometimes you get a real snarler!"

surely not

There was a young girl from Devizes
Had breasts of differing sizes
one was small
won nothing at all
the other was large and won prizes

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There was a young girl from Australia
who painted her *rse like a dahlia
a penny a sniff was all very well
but tuppence a lick was a failure!

-------------------------------------------------

A strange bird the cuckoo
as it sits in the grass
with its wings neatly folded
and its beak up it's *rse
In this position it can only say twit
coz it's hard to say cuckoo with a beak full of $hit!

BUMPFF

There was a young man from the Niger
Who had sex with an Indian tiger
The result of the f**k
Was a bow-legged duck
Two cats and a circumcised spider

Hilico

There was a young man from Rangoon
Whose f*rts could be heard on the moon.
When you'd least expect 'em,
They'd burst from his rectum
With the force of a raging typhoon.

There was a young lady called Psyche
Who was heard to ejaculate 'Pcryche!'
For while riding her pbych
She ran over a ptych
And fell on some rails that were pspyche.

maninblack

How about a blank verse Limerick?

There was a young man from Dundee,
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp.
When asked, "Did it hurt?"
He replied, "Not a bit,
He can do it again of he likes."


or, back on theme.


There was a young lady of Wantage,
Of whom the Lord mayor took advantage.
Said the Borough Surveyor.
"I think you should pay her;
You've substantially altered her frontage."

Unwell_Raptor

There was a young lady from Wantage,
Of whom the town clerk took advantage,
Said the Borough Surveyor,
"I'm afraid you must pay her,
You've totally altered her frontage".

Bu9ger! Two more minutes and I'd have won!

There was an old monk in Siberia
Whose existence grew steadily drearier,
Till he ran from his cell
With a hell of a yell,
And rogered the Mother Superior.

There was a young girl in Madras
Who had a magnificent ass,
Not rounded and pink,
As Pruners would think,
But grey with long ears, and chewed grass.

maninblack

Christ! there's an echo!

None of the above

There was a gay man of Khartoum,
Who took a lesbian up to his room,
As they lay on his bed,
He suddenly said:
Who does what and with what and to whom?

Ascend Charlie

A young masturb@tor named Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her v@gina
In North Carolina
And part of her @nus in Dallas.

handysnaks

There was a young gaucho called Bruno
Who said there is one thing I do know
A woman is fine
A young boy is divine
but a Llama is numero uno

Miserlou

There was an old woman named mandy,
Whose favourite tipple was brandy,
She had one or two,
And then she, "Phew.
Doesn't it make you feel rotten!"

jack and Jill when up the hill,
Some water they went to get.
Jack fell down on a razor blade,
-Slash sound effect-
Jill ate!

Capt.KAOS

A gallant young Frenchman named Grandhomme
Was attempting a girl on a tandem.
At the height of the make
She slammed on the brake,
And scattered his semen at random

There was an old Scot named McTavish
Who attempted an anthropoid ravish.
The object of rape
Was the wrong sex of ape,
And the anthropoid ravished McTavish

There was a young girl who begat
Three brats, by name Nat, Pat, and Tat.
It was fun in the breeding
But hell in the feeding,
When she found there was no tit for Tat.

Corporate Yank

There mas a young lady named Kate
Who used a stick of dynamite for a fake
It blew her vagina
to North Carolina
and her asshole to Michigan state.

Um., wait another one's coming, YEA

There was a young fellow from Kent
whose member was so long that is was bent,
to save himself trouble
he put in in double
and instead of coming, he went.

Oh wait, the gray matter is really working now...

There was a young man from Boston
who drove a shiny new Austin
he had room for his ass
and a gallon of gas
so he dragged his balls and he lost' em.

Oh god it just keeps coming.....

There was a fellow from Nantucket
whose c$ck was so long he could suckit
he said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin
"If my ear was a c$nt, I would f$ck it".

OK, one more before I collapse in a sea of debauchery...

There was an old hermit named Dave
who kept a dead whore in his cave
he said' " I'll admit
I'm a bit of a shit
but look at the money I save".



Totally spent and now retreating to the refig for a spot of fortified grapejuice...CY

Smeagol

To expand on maninblack's blank verse theme

There was a young girl from Bude
Who went for a swim in a pond
A man in a punt
Put his pole in the water
And said "You can't swim here it's private"


And to return to rhyme


The jolly old Bishop of Birmingham
F***ked three girls whilst confirming them
As they knelt seeking God
He excited his rod
And pumped his episcopal sperm in 'em


and one more

An elderly pervert from NIce
Who was long past wanting a piece
Would jack off his hogs
His pigs and his dogs
'Till his parrot called in the police


I could go on but it is probably best to stop now.....

BUMPFF

There was a young woman from Horton
Who had a long t!t and a short 'un
To make up for that
She had a big tw@t
And a fart like a 500 Norton