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Old 14th Dec 2001, 13:19   #1 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
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Smile Christmas Songs - alternative words

OK - let's get this Xmas show on the road...

We need Christmas songs with their alternative words. Feel free to consult yuong siblings or offspring, or even to make them up yourself.

Best of the bunch will be recorded by S Club 7 (no, not really) and broadcast after the Queen's Speech (also a fib).

I wish I could remember more of a previously sung version of the old Christmas classic:

Jingle Bells,
Batmans smells,
Robin flew away...

Anyone know the rest?

Hersh
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Old 14th Dec 2001, 13:58   #2 (permalink)
 
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If you fancy something a little more "colourful" then you may wish to pay this site a visit and look for "Kev's Christmas" - Guaranteed to make you laugh, but best not played to near to your Granny! http://kevin.bloody.wilson.com.au/

Just check out "Roo Dog The Wet Nosed Cross Breed" - a classic in the making


Ho! Ho! F***ing Ho!



[ 14 December 2001: Message edited by: DROGNA ]
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Old 14th Dec 2001, 19:46   #3 (permalink)
 
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Hersham Boy.

Sounded familiar so I phoned my six year old daughter.

Apparently the version she uses

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robins run away
Its no fun
When the smelly bum
Keeps farting every day.

Hope that helps.

[ 14 December 2001: Message edited by: Axerock ]
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Old 14th Dec 2001, 21:24   #4 (permalink)
 
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In the Show Me State it goes as follows:

Jingle bells
Batman smells,
Robin laid an egg.
The Batmobile lost a wheel
And Joker broke his leg.


I think my kids got this one from Bart Simpson:

Joy to the World
Our teacher's dead
We barbecued her head.
What happened to her body?
We flushed it down the potty.
And round and round it went
And round and round it went.
And round, and round, and round it went.

I heard three kids sing this on a TV show (Jay Leno or David Letterman) a few years ago:

We three kings of Orient are
Smo-o-king a rubber cigar
It was loaded, it exploded
BANG (king #3 falls down)

We two kings of Orient are
Smo-o-king a rubber cigar
It was loaded, it exploded
BANG (king #2 falls down)

I a king of Orient am
Smo-o-king a rubber cigar
It was loaded, it exploded
BANG (king #1 falls down and sings)

Silent night, ...

Does anyone remember the continuation of

Randolph the rowdy cowboy
Had a pair of shiny guns
?
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Old 14th Dec 2001, 23:12   #5 (permalink)
 
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Our version of the old classic was...

Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin flew away
The Batmobile lost a wheel
and came off the motorway

anyone remember the words to

While shepherds washed there socks by night??
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Old 15th Dec 2001, 00:48   #6 (permalink)
 
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Smile

We had a slightly dodgy version of "We three Kings..." at my primary school... it went something like this...

We three kings of Orient are,
One in a Taxi and one in a Car,
One on a scooter, blowing his hooter,
Eating a milky bar.

Bex
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Old 15th Dec 2001, 03:20   #7 (permalink)
 
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Gash: While shepherds washed their socks by night all seated round the tub
A bar of Sunlight soap came down and they began to scrub.
I've got some others somewhere I'll have to dig them out. There is a good aussie version of The Twelve Days of Christmas - involves koalas, galahs, snakes, emus etc. Must go and see if I can find it!

Edited because I forgot about the soap!

[ 15 December 2001: Message edited by: DX Wombat ]
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Old 15th Dec 2001, 04:49   #8 (permalink)
 
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While shepherds washed their socks by night all watching ITV, the angel of the lord came down and switched to BBC.
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Old 15th Dec 2001, 06:02   #9 (permalink)
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Through the mists:

Hark! The herald angels sing,
Beecham's Pills are just the thing!
Move ye gently! Move ye mild!
Two for an adult, one for a child.
Regular administration
's just the thing for constipation.
How can man to art aspire
If his soul is not on fire?
(crescendo)
How can man to art aspire
If his soul is not on fire?
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Old 15th Dec 2001, 07:16   #10 (permalink)
 
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Cool

Santy baby
I need a new guitar pick... and how,
I've used a toenail up 'till now,
Santy baby
So hurry down the chimney tonight.
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Old 15th Dec 2001, 07:25   #11 (permalink)
 
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Arrow

Frosty the cokehead was a crazed neurotic soul,
With a big glass pipe and a vial of crack,
And no sense of self control.
There must have been some poison
in that last dime bag he got,
For when he took his first big hit
he dropped dead on the spot.
Frosty the cokehead doesn't worry anymore,
Coz when all is said, and your cold and dead,
Then you never have to score.

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Old 15th Dec 2001, 07:56   #12 (permalink)
 
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Wink

And one for all you Trekkies out there:

From Jean-Luc Picard (to the tune of Let it Snow):

Oh, the vacuum outside is endless,
unforgiving, cold, and friendless,
but still we must boldly go --
make it so, make it so, make it so.
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Old 15th Dec 2001, 16:07   #13 (permalink)
 
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Found it! Trust the Aussies to need their own version.
On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me - A kookaburra in a gum tree
2nd day: Two snakes on skis
3rd day: Three wet galahs
4th day: Four lyre birds
5th day Five kangaroos
6th day: Six sharks a-surfing
7th day: Seven emus laying
8th day: Eight dingos dancing
9th day: Nine crocs a-snoozing
10th day: Ten wombats washing
11th day: Eleven lizards leaping
12th day: Twelve possums playing


Somewhere in the archives I have some alternative NHS carols. If I remember rightly they are just as relevant today as they were about 20 years ago. I'll have a look for them but don't hold your breath.
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Old 15th Dec 2001, 18:08   #14 (permalink)
widgeon
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**** the whores
and steal their lolly
falalalalalala
tony draper stole my brolly
falalalalalalalala
 
Old 15th Dec 2001, 20:27   #15 (permalink)

Yes, Him
 
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Widgeon, if you're missing a fur hat with ear flaps, Drapers got that too.
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Old 15th Dec 2001, 21:20   #16 (permalink)
 
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well i have another one that comes to mind

Down in Fragile rock
grab a fragile by the cock
swing im round your head
now the fragiles dead......


merry xmas and happy nude year to you all anyway
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Old 16th Dec 2001, 00:12   #17 (permalink)
widgeon
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Ive got one we can wotk on together
He is first stanza .
Oh little clown name Beckenham
Where did you get that hair ?
 
Old 16th Dec 2001, 01:08   #18 (permalink)
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Newcastle/UK
Posts: 80
Unhappy

The Holly was in blossom, an' the year was ending soon,
When Widgeon hit the town, likewise the bash of PPRuNe .
The frost was on the fodder an' the wind was growin' keen,
When Widgeon , got to seein' snakes, in Sullivan's shebeen.

Then in meandered Capt'n Prune, once comrade of the cup:
"Oh Widgeon, for the love of Mike, why don't ye sober up?
I've got the gorgus recipay, 'tis smooth an' slick as silk --
Jest quit yer strangle-holt on hooch, an' irrigate with milk.

Deepest apologies to Mr Service.

[ 16 December 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]
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Old 16th Dec 2001, 08:33   #19 (permalink)
 
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Location: UK
Age: 43
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Unhappy

Santa Claus Is Wielding A Gun

Oh, you better watch out
You better not pry
You better stay back
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is wielding a gun

He's making a list
And checking it twice
Gonna find out who
He's gonna ice
Santa Claus is wielding a gun

Don't give him any trouble
He'll blow you right away
Don't give him any cause to shoot
Or you'll make his Christmas Day

Oh, you better believe
He's packing a rod
No coal in your stocking
Just lead in your bod
Santa Claus is wielding a gun

He doesn't want cookies
Or none of that crud
He doesn't want milk
What he wants is your blood
Santa Claus is wielding a gun

(Music Bridge, with automatic arms fire)

He doesn't trust nobody
Shot all his reindeer dead
Thought Dancer was a sissy
And thought Rudoulph was red

Oh, you better watch out
You better not pry
You better stay back
I'm telling you why

Santa Claus is wielding a gun
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Old 16th Dec 2001, 13:09   #20 (permalink)
 
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Angel

i like the songs by weird al yankovic:

the night santa went crazy
christmas at ground zero
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