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Freight Dogs Finally a forum for those midnight prowler types who utilise the unglamorous parts of airports that many of us never get to see. Freight Dogs is for pilots and crew who operate mostly without SLF.

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Old 4th Oct 2012, 04:52   #1 (permalink)
Nemo Me Impune Lacessit
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Victoria, Australia.
Posts: 3,557
You Might Be A Freight Dog if.........................

Apologise if this has been here recently, some really 'on the money' ones and probably a lot more to add!

You might be a freight dog if…
• Your airplane was getting old when you wereborn.
• You have not done a daylight landing in the past six months.
• ATC advises you of smoother air at a different altitude, and you don’t give ashit.
• When you taxi up to an FBO they roll out the red carpet, but quickly take itback when they recognize you.
• You call the hotel van to pick you up and they don’t understand where you areon the airport.
• Centre asks you to "keep the chickens down" so they can hear youtalk.
• Your airplane has more than 75,000 cycles.
• Your company call sign is "Oil Can".
• The lady at the FBO locks up the popcorn machine because you plan on"making a meal of it".
• Your airplane has more than eight faded logos on it.
• You wear the same shirt for a week, and no one complains.
• Centre mispronounces your call sign more than three times in one flight.
• Your Director of Operations mysteriously changes your max. take-off weightduring the holiday season.
• Every FBO makes you park out of sight of their building.
• You have ever walked barefoot through the FBO,.................................... because you just woke up.
• You mark every ramp with engine oil.
• Everything you own is in you flight bag and suitcase.
• All the other pilots wait for you to "test the squall line" first.
• All the other airlines hold to see if you get in.
• You request the visual approach with 300’ overcast and ½ SM vis.
• You make no attempt to deviate around weather.

Last edited by parabellum; 4th Oct 2012 at 04:56. Reason: Can't spell
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Old 4th Oct 2012, 08:39   #2 (permalink)
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: on the edge
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Everything you own is in your flight bag and suitcase - with caveat: happening several different times in your 'career'..........
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Old 10th Oct 2012, 01:24   #3 (permalink)
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Sad for some, but hopefully not for you. If you ever need anything, you know how to reach us. It is never that bad. Difficult right now, but never that bad
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Old 12th Oct 2012, 03:32   #4 (permalink)
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Texas
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My first professional gig was F/O on a DC-3 freighter, According to the data plate the airplane was built one year before I was born.
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Old 31st Oct 2012, 14:25   #5 (permalink)
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 30
Angel Just a few more..

If you have lost 45%of your hearing because the aircraft soundproofing was removed to save weight.
If real airlines wait for you to land first to test the braking action.
If you have the sleep habits of a vampire.
If you call for transport and the operations officer has never heard of that parking stand.
If you think TCAS might be an internet expression.
If other airlines post guards on their aircraft whenever your maintenance teams are on the ramp.
If your aircraft has more than 30 collared circuit breakers.
If the "differences" section of the AFM is larger than the "systems" section.
If you hear of an aircraft with an integral drinking water system and you say, "Wow what will they think of next?"
If you walk along the ramp and a GA pilot asks you to clean his windscreen.
If you are always the last to cleared to taxy or take off no matter who called first.
If you think a terminal area with 3 food vending machines is a "food court".
If you think BALPA is an Austrian breakfast cereal.
If you go to bed when your wife wakes up.
If pilots from real companies look at your aircraft and say, "I flew them when I was young"
If your maps show Gaul and The Holy Roman Empire.
If 10% of your basic weight is paint and repair patches.
If the freight bay fire extinguishers have been removed to let you carry more flammable D/G.
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Old 31st Oct 2012, 17:57   #6 (permalink)
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Cumbria
Posts: 170
Just adding one from the groundstaff

You're a freight dog CAPTAIN if you have that special extra sense that enables you to ALWAYS offload exactly the one and only pallet that is 110% "must ride"

Last edited by G&T ice n slice; 31st Oct 2012 at 17:57.
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Old 4th Nov 2012, 00:29   #7 (permalink)
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You daughter just graduated from college, your wife just graduated from high school and your kids are age 1, 14, and 23 yrs.......
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Old 4th Nov 2012, 05:31   #8 (permalink)
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Warwickshire
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Your minimum descent speed is 6000fpm
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Old 4th Nov 2012, 18:05   #9 (permalink)
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Newquay
Age: 55
Posts: 34
As a Non-Pilot, just a Lonely Old Refueller at a Little Known Airport i Read this with a wry smile as i was also an Ex Movements Controller in the Airforce and moved a Lot of Freight in my time, can still Picture the Heavylift Belfast Rolling in to Brize for a Quickish Turnaround and then back to Ascension.
Personally, i think you Freight Guys are the Unsung Heroes of the Aviation World and had i been a Little bit more Intelligent upstairs and managed to become a Commercial Pilot i certainly would have Preferred Freight...............................................I think, Possibly.

Last edited by MADTASS; 4th Nov 2012 at 18:08.
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Old 4th Nov 2012, 19:28   #10 (permalink)
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Brilliant. Brings back a lot of memories.
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Old 5th Nov 2012, 06:36   #11 (permalink)
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If you don't dare removing old DMI- and security stickers - as they might be holding the plane together---
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Old 5th Nov 2012, 14:42   #12 (permalink)
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Location: Somewhere in time
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.....if you think you could fly one of these shinny new B787 or A350 just before you retire in 25-30 years.
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Old 5th Nov 2012, 21:09   #13 (permalink)
Join Date: May 2000
Location: USA
Posts: 126
.....if you can't fly one of those shiny new B787
BUT you can fly the box it came in !!!!
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Old 10th Nov 2012, 15:52   #14 (permalink)
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You do not care when the sun rises or sets.
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Old 12th Nov 2012, 04:16   #15 (permalink)
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...if you have only an AOG when the Cargo loading system is inop
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Old 13th Nov 2012, 09:02   #16 (permalink)
Join Date: Sep 2010
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Posts: 141
When you know people younger than you who flew DC8s in their last company.

You make your own tea and cook your own dinner.

When every flight is dress down Friday in the cruise.

The India maps are creased and torn to buggery.

The main deck smells like a zoo. And sometimes resembles one.

The cargo is worth more than the aircraft. Even a new one.

Don't miss pax flying though!
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Old 13th Nov 2012, 09:39   #17 (permalink)
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.....colleagues close to retirement are impressed by the fact that you flew DC-10 or DC-8
....you never have to worry if you are able to go to saturdays football match, because weekends are always off
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Old 15th Nov 2012, 09:33   #18 (permalink)
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Your boss is screaming down the phone at you something about "get out there and get the #@!!?*%# load in!!"

Last edited by Not Nightowl; 15th Nov 2012 at 09:33.
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Old 15th Nov 2012, 10:05   #19 (permalink)
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Krug departure, Merlot transition
Posts: 456
You're still thinking of the battered twenty-year-old B744F that you just upgraded to as "my shiny new toy", and barely notice when VNAV fails because all you ever use is V/S and FLCH anyway...

You still say things like "that's the way we did it on the Classic"...
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Old 15th Nov 2012, 12:07   #20 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by main_dog View Post
You're still thinking of the battered twenty-year-old B744F that you just upgraded to as "my shiny new toy", and barely notice when VNAV fails because all you ever use is V/S and FLCH anyway...

You still say things like "that's the way we did it on the Classic"...

I'm afraid that is exactly true. Along with a bunch of the other stuff. 7th type that is used as all freight.

Last edited by JammedStab; 15th Nov 2012 at 12:08.
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