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Old 9th Apr 2017, 11:58   #1 (permalink)
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Old jokes.

This Arrogant Woman Refused To Listen To The Flight Attendant. But His Response Is Gold.

An oldie but a goody.

It reminds me of a story from my days working in UK Air Traffic.

The Biggin hold for Heathrow was full, due fog, and only the zero vis landers had been able to get in.

Inevitably the vis increased and the controller started pulling them off the hold to get the flow going again.

Up piped a Queens Flight BA146 pilot stating his flight should go first as he had "a Princess in the back". (Diana, RIP.)

Immediately a Speedbird Capt got in on the RT (before the London Terminal Controller could reply...wow...some feat, for those aware of how busy London Terminal Control frequencies can get) and stated,

"No, I should go first as I've got two Queens in the back".

The story never went on to state which flight was actually first off Biggin!

And before any body has a pop at me, I am NOT homophobic!

Just two excellent stories IMO.

ENJOY!
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Old 9th Apr 2017, 19:22   #2 (permalink)
 
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Gong back a few years - A male cabin crew member was collecting in meal trays and when he could carry no more he made his way back to the galley. As he passed a certain lady she held out her finished tray to be taken. She didn't care that he was not able to carry, but as far as she was concerned he was going to take it. "Madam" he said. "I"m a man not an octopus. I've got testicles not tentacles!" Yes she did complain.

PM
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Old 11th Apr 2017, 22:02   #3 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Howto communicate View Post
This Arrogant Woman Refused To Listen To The Flight Attendant. But His Response Is Gold.

An oldie but a goody.

It reminds me of a story from my days working in UK Air Traffic.

The Biggin hold for Heathrow was full, due fog, and only the zero vis landers had been able to get in.

Inevitably the vis increased and the controller started pulling them off the hold to get the flow going again.

Up piped a Queens Flight BA146 pilot stating his flight should go first as he had "a Princess in the back". (Diana, RIP.)

Immediately a Speedbird Capt got in on the RT (before the London Terminal Controller could reply...wow...some feat, for those aware of how busy London Terminal Control frequencies can get) and stated,

"No, I should go first as I've got two Queens in the back".

The story never went on to state which flight was actually first off Biggin!

And before any body has a pop at me, I am NOT homophobic!

Just two excellent stories IMO.

ENJOY!
I guess two queens beats a princess.
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Old 25th Apr 2017, 20:47   #4 (permalink)
 
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You clearly don't know the whole story. It would appear that all you know is what can be gleaned from the brief cell-phone video. There is significantly more to the incident. Also, what does his height have to do with anything? What if he was a large flight attendant? What difference would it make? It is interesting that you think that the passenger who tried to intervene was a Good Samaritan. He only succeeded in escalating the incident. Another passenger may actually have threatened the flight attendant as well, which is an offence. There is a more complete description of the incident on facebook posted by a passenger on the flight.

Last edited by Kewbick; 25th Apr 2017 at 21:09.
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Old 26th Apr 2017, 05:28   #5 (permalink)
 
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So this comes under the heading of old jokes? Clearly you need to relocate your post before it gets offloaded by the mods.
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Old 26th Apr 2017, 12:59   #6 (permalink)
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Where has the PPRUNE Aviation thread gone?

Hi folks.

Both stories have been knocking around for years. They are simply another telling of them.

I'm pretty certain that Kewbick may be referring to a different vid from the one I have posted above.

My aviation life has been around being an experienced PPLer, and working in Air Traffic for many years. I would not be at all surprised to read recycled jokes/anecdotes about those disciplines in the PPL and ATC PPRuNe forums!

There does not seem to be an aviation humour thread on PPRuNe any more. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Last edited by Howto communicate; 26th Apr 2017 at 18:14. Reason: Incorrect title
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Old 26th Apr 2017, 18:19   #7 (permalink)
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Title should have read;

Where has the Aviation Humour thread gone?

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Old 3rd May 2017, 09:56   #8 (permalink)
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A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.

SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL
HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."

HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.

"I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO."


PS I'm still not homophobic, or 'Blondist' either!
Howto.
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Old 5th May 2017, 09:13   #9 (permalink)
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18222297_1177678549008967_3086219928455940423_n.jpg

This is a NEW joke for me!
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Old 12th May 2017, 08:51   #10 (permalink)


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On a BAH-LHR daytime, L1011 flight, I was standing behind the bar in 1st Class.

There was one elderly, male in a rear-facing seat, port-side, quietly reading,when an Irish stewardess, who shall be name-less, came rushing through the cabin, from the pointed end, arms flailing, and scooped this poor fellow's 'rug' off his head!!!

What to do? She tried to replace it, which made it worse! I thought it would be better if I pretended I hadn't seen anything, to spare the poor man's embarrassment, whilst trying to suppress the giggles! It was like something out of 'Morecambe and Wise'!

I had been advising this hostie NOT to rush around! So much for that!

I have only good memories about GF and the Big Budgie (1976 -1985)!
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Old 17th May 2017, 14:41   #11 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Piltdown Man View Post
"Madam" he said. "I"m a man not an octopus. I've got testicles not tentacles!"
I am definitely stealing this for the next time people want to think I have 3 arms
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Old 12th Jun 2017, 18:43   #12 (permalink)
 
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Arnie Hartshorn
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Old 13th Jun 2017, 05:25   #13 (permalink)
 
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Arnie Hartshorn
A wonderful asset to BOAC, Arnie was a wonderful CSD (CSO). I flew with him many times. He was a fun guy to be with especially on 3 week trips.
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Old 16th Jun 2017, 14:10   #14 (permalink)
 
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Who was it back in the old days (Britannias?) who hailed a taxi in New York? When the Yellow Cab drew up, the driver in a broad Brooklyn accent took one look at him and said, "I don't take no fairies in my cab."

Was it Arnie? drew himself up to his full height and, waving his furled umbrella like a wand, replied in his best Noel Coward voice, "Turn to sh*t!"

Last edited by Bergerie1; 18th Jun 2017 at 10:10.
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Old 16th Jun 2017, 14:51   #15 (permalink)
 
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Yes the one and only Arnie Hartshorn. He was an accomplished concert pianist and took a dummy keyboard on trips often giving silent renditions at room parties!
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Old 16th Jun 2017, 21:31   #16 (permalink)
 
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When GF went International in the '70s, with ex BA VC10s, a lot of ex BA staff were recruited, including cabin staff.

It happened that I was spending a night in the crew hotel in Sharjah. In the evening I went to the bar (yes I know, this was a long time ago) where the only other drinker was a short, dapper chap, in his 50's with a bouffant hairdo. We got talking and it transpired that he was ex BA, VC 10 fleet. I seem to remember that his name was Arthur, but that could very easily be wrong.

"Oh yes," he said" I served the Silver Service across the Atlantic for more years than I can remember."

"What are doing now" I asked. He drew himself up. "I", he said, "I am No 2 on a Fokker Friendship".

So naturally I questioned how that came about.

"BA made me redundant along with most of the VC10 fleet, and Gulf Air offered me a job, so I accepted it", he said.

He went on; "But when I got to Bahrain, I was told I must undergo a training course. Me, a British Airways Silver Service Steward. it was an insult."

"Anyway, I had to attend the course. It was run by a chit of a girl from some private airline, who was in nappies when I started serving the Silver Service. I had to put her right about many things, so that the others on the course would learn something useful."

He paused, and I asked him what happened next.

"Well," he hissed, "what happened next is, I'm No 2 on a Fokker F*****g Friendship".
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