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Old 16th Sep 2006, 06:06   #101 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 60
sarcasm

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shamrock274 View Post
TSR2...
So why is the passenger in 17D thick??
it's sarcasm, given the first post about "thick" passengers
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Old 16th Sep 2006, 06:22   #102 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 60
Cool This is a GREAT STORY

Quote:
Originally Posted by Taildragger67 View Post
Possibly an urban myth, but here goes...

L/H preparing to depart from a certain republic in the Southern Hemisphere where they play rugby.

Economy class, gentleman of colour quietly seated awaiting departure when elderly woman not of colour approaches her seat next to said gentleman.

Elderly woman then approaches CC, staing firmly that she can't possibly be expected to sit next to said gentleman for such a long flight. CC replies "Of course, ma'am, I'll see what I can do"; goes forward.

CC returns a few minutes later and says to the old girl, "Ma'am, we've found a solution to your situation", turns to the gent and says, "Sir, if you'd like to follow me, we have a spare seat in first class for you".
Good story here. I have one as well. I was cc with a young beautiful woman (of color) Omaha to Chicago. She was getting a lot of "looks" and a negative vibe from many of the passengers, so as the position one flight attendant, I made an announcement upon arrival at Chicago : "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to inform you that this is the last flight for one of our flight attendants today, D. Edwards. She is pursuing her doctorate at the University of Chicago in International Studies and Communications."
You should have seen how sugary sweet and congratulatory the passengers got towards my coworker as they deplaned. Ms. Edwards and I became great friends and we always had a laugh on how we pulled one over on those rascals...

Last edited by MNBluestater; 16th Sep 2006 at 06:52.
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Old 16th Sep 2006, 06:43   #103 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 60
Talking Oh My Gawd

Quote:
Originally Posted by skybunny View Post
Working for JQ we get a range of pax... including those who have been rejected by Greyhound Buslines. Here's what happened during a 9pm flight to Melbourne after CSM made a PA regarding turning the lights down for pax comfort

Bulldog-resembling pax: What did she say?

Me: We are turning down the lights now

Pax: Why would you do that? To save electricity? I can't see my magazine

Me: That's right. The electricity bill hasn't been paid and they'll probably cut it off soon, but we're hoping that we land before they do so.
ROTGLMAO This is way too priceless !
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Old 16th Sep 2006, 06:49   #104 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 60
I Apologize For All American Ignoramusae

Quote:
Originally Posted by apaddyinuk View Post
I have a very plain dulcit Irish Accent...Im from higher middle class part of dublin so for those of you who know will be able to tell for yourself.
But the other morning on approach to LHR some american passenger asked me for directions through the terminal for a connecting flight.

As soon as I finished explaining "Flight Connections" he siddenly stopped me, shouting at me saying that he could not understand me and demanded that I SPEAK AMERICAN!!! I just laughed at him and said he would have major problems in Scotland (thats where he was traveling to) if he didnt understand me!!!!
Unfortunately the good of many is ruined by just the rude few...
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Old 17th Sep 2006, 16:38   #105 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Metre Island, (all SI round here ya know)
Age: 37
Posts: 10
Not so much comment as action

After a particularly hard landing in GOA on a 73/200 the oxy masks dropped from a sizeable chunk of the rear PSUs. Those that had a mask grabbed it, those without were clutching across the aisle at the spares. I was looking out the window at the terminal, thinking there goes the rest of my day.
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Old 17th Sep 2006, 16:42   #106 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Metre Island, (all SI round here ya know)
Age: 37
Posts: 10
retraction

Actually having just read that I retract it. At least they listened, true the delay was massive, but better a few hours late in this life than half a lifetime early into the next
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Old 18th Sep 2006, 20:24   #107 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: The Hub of the Universe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wannabe Flyboy View Post
EchoMike - best story I've read for ages. Sounds very Southwest too!
Except for the "first class" setting
Could it have been Continental?
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Old 18th Sep 2006, 21:43   #108 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 126
Have to see if I can find the stubs

Have to go look and see if I can find the old ticket stubs or ask my wife what airline it was - I hate flying around in other people's airplanes. I'm pretty sure it was Southwest, but I *am* sure we got 1A and 1B!

Best Regards,

Echo Mike
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Old 19th Sep 2006, 01:51   #109 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 758
On a SYD-HKG flight on Saturday:

Female customer of Asian origin is passed out on floor. Myself and CSM get oxygen and try to make her come to. She keeps coming to then passing out again.

She eventually comes to and is completely delerious. Hypoxic I guess. Anyway this woman grabs CSMs head and starts yelling -

"I don't have a pulse, I don't have a pulse!"

"I am not breathing."

"I am in shock."

Of course no medical situation is funny though I totally laughed when this lady is telling us she doesn't have a pulse!

AND FOR THICK CABIN CREW COMMENTS -

On an American domestic flight I overheard two flight attendants talking about how another colleague knew a passenger.

FA1 - "Shelly knows 2D."
FA2 - "Who is Tudy?"
FA1 - "No. 2D."
FA2 - "Shelly knows a Tudy?"
FA1 - "No. The person at 2D"
FA2 - "The person is a Tudy? What?"
FA1 - "The passenger AT 2D!"
FA2 - "Where is Tudy? You're not making any sense."

That ACTUALLY happened! It would seem sometimes we are far too quick to pass ourselves off as the smarter ones!

The two women looked remarkably like Miss Goldie and Blue Bonnit Onit from this clip!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2F1Bqy3oXCQ

Last edited by ditzyboy; 19th Sep 2006 at 02:04.
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Old 19th Sep 2006, 02:06   #110 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: The Hub of the Universe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EchoMike View Post
Have to go look and see if I can find the old ticket stubs or ask my wife what airline it was - I hate flying around in other people's airplanes. I'm pretty sure it was Southwest, but I *am* sure we got 1A and 1B!
Best Regards,
Echo Mike
Cheers EM --
Don't waste time digging up stubs on behalf of a pedant like me. It occurred to me later that it might have been America West (Phoenix hub), but it hardly matters. A very entertaining story.
OK, back to lurking.
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Old 19th Sep 2006, 10:51   #111 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 30
Soy decaf Latte

Skybunny, I'm sure many of us can sympathise with that particular scenario! How many times, can I guess, have you also been asked for a skinny latte during service???
I've become very talented at making cappucino machine noises in the middle of the cabin as i vigorously stir their sache of instant coffee
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Old 19th Sep 2006, 11:10   #112 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Berks
Posts: 41
These are so funny to read! Im gonna get my thinking cap on and have a think of some Ive come accross..
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Old 19th Sep 2006, 11:17   #113 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Berks
Posts: 41
ah ha, I remember a time, going out with the dreaded "Juice and water"...

"Would you like Juice or Water sir?"
Passenger says nothing but stares at the juice and water like I've just spoken swahili to him
"Juice or water Sir?"
Passenger still staring in a daze...
so I said "Sir! are you staring at my Jugs!"
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Old 19th Sep 2006, 11:33   #114 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Berks
Posts: 41
Also, why do passengers never know how to open the toilet doors even though it says "Push" in big letters on the front? why do they insist on opening the ashtrays instead???

And when Im in the loo (yes crew do actually go to the toilet like every other human being) that someone insists on trying to open the door then knocks very loudly?? hello! surely the "Engaged/Occupied" sign tells you somoene is in there? pah.
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Old 19th Sep 2006, 21:45   #115 (permalink)
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Neither Here Nor There
Posts: 1,087
Some priceless tales. Thanks to all for their contributions.

This one I picked up on a coach into London. Heading east down the M4 (motorway, freeway, autobahn, etc...) out to our right was a heavy on approach to 09 at LHR.

Our distance from said aircraft, the speed of the coach and the approach speed of the aircraft gave the illusion that the aircraft was hardly moving. Two elderly ladies sat across the aisle from me:

"Look at that plane over there. It's not moving."

They both watched intently for a few moments.

"Oh yes...........you're right. It must have to wait there for permission to land."

"I hope they don't have to wait too long".

It was said with such concern and sincerity my companion and I laughed so much we cried.
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Old 21st Sep 2006, 08:16   #116 (permalink)
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Join Date: Dec 2001
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Ahh, but F_H, if you're taking too long in there to beautify yourself, I may just let myself in from the outside anyway.... some of us pax do have a little more knowledge than you'd like, especially those of us who are engineers!
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Old 21st Sep 2006, 08:44   #117 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Berks
Posts: 41
Tee hee, you know me too well! lol...
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Old 6th Oct 2006, 14:09   #118 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Dubai
Posts: 27
Here it goes..

My mate had this pax on a turnaround that wanted to get double his money's worth on freebies, he got the toothbrush, playing cards, comb, shaving kit, and anything he could put his hands on.. the pax next to him had asked my mate if she could have a sanitary towel and she gave it to her in a paper bag. This guy started shouting saying 'hang on how come she gets something and I don't you're being racist with me' she tried to explain nicely that its something for the ladies but he kept calling her racist and by this time everyone was giving her bad looks.. so she said 'ok sir i'll be right back'
She handed him the sanitary towel in a paper bag and left him with a smile on his face and went back expecting him to be embarrased for causing all that hassle for a sanitary towel....
However she finds him sitting quitely on his seat with the sanitary towel stuck on his eyes thinking they're eye shades!!!


Another one...

During a turnaround after service... all the pax just keep looking at the toilet door and since they don't speak english and push doesn't give it away we have to open the door everytime for them. This crew got really fed up when he found these 3 men trying to open it by opening the ash tray so he went up to them he told them 'this is how you do it' he opened the ash tray and said OOOOpppeeen whilst pushing the door with his foot 5 mins later we find a group of them saying ooopppeeeenn to the ash tray !!! Kept us entertained!!!
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Old 6th Oct 2006, 16:06   #119 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: London
Posts: 5
Grrrrrr!

Pax pushes call bell at 40,000 ft.
Pax: "Excuse me Madam I'd like to make a complaint reagrding your airline"
Me: "I'm sorry to hear that sir, what appears to be be the problem?"
Pax: "Since the plane took off I can't get a signal on my mobile... See?"
(shows me his phone which indeed had no signal!)
Me: "For 's sake!!!!!!!!"

1 more....

During meal serice
Me: Would you like to have beef cassrole or chicken with rice?
Pax: Don't you have any burger and chips?
Me: No sorry sir, only beef casserole or chicken wiv rice
Pax: Are you sure?
Me: Yes I'm sure but I will check anyway. (Goes to the galley and back)
Me: No sorry
Pax: But I want burger and chips, what are you going to do?
Me: I tell you what sir, I'll jus pop down to the shops and get you some, I may be some time. (to the amusement of the surrounding pax)
Pax: Its ok. take your time
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Old 7th Oct 2006, 01:14   #120 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: SF,CA,USA
Posts: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by milbud View Post
Skybunny, I'm sure many of us can sympathise with that particular scenario! How many times, can I guess, have you also been asked for a skinny latte during service???
I've become very talented at making cappucino machine noises in the middle of the cabin as i vigorously stir their sache of instant coffee
As SLF on a flight from LHR to the US, the cabin crew were serving Tea & Coffee, and a person 3 rows in front asked for hot chocolate, which was not available.

This roused the interest of the next two rows, who also requested hot chocolate, presumably not listening to the response given to the row before.

When the CC got to me I kept a straight face as I asked for a tall extra hot latte. I could see her blood pressure rising as she tried to politely explain it was just tea or coffee. I couldn't hold back any more and just cracked up laughing, and she almost slapped me with the coffee jug when she realized I was pulling her leg. Luckilly the 3 rows in front missed the joke.

You guys do an amazing job. It takes all sorts to make a world...
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