I have to admit I was a thick passenger once. But to my defense, he had a good laugh about it.
Loading on luggage and handbags on to the umpteenth security check, the assistant receiving asked me "Are you finished?". At that moment I expected "Do you have more items?" or something like that. I just couldn't help myself. "NO, I'm Danish!" which is in fact true. And it is also true I'm not Finnish.
He looked at me completely perplexed for 4 seconds, then the meaning dawned on him, and he hid his face in his hands and laughed. The poor chap didn't get around to normal operation for another 30 seconds, but he had a good laugh. I sincerely hope no passengers were delayed because of this innocent little joke.
travelling 'business' class, on a 'popular' america bound service.
CC. Chicken or beef? repeated several times before reaching row 3 Me. (alternate guise as thick SLF). Chicken, please. CC. Sorry, we've run out of chicken. CC. Me. Beef, please. (I try to be polite, even when frustrated)
turns out the beef wasn't really beef, either, but something rather more resistant to chewing. I should have stuck with the chicken.
My son who was voluntarily working as an airport ambasssador was recently asked by a man who was about to join the security check queue. "Is a banana classed as a liquid?"
Haven't read the whole thread so apologies if these have been posted before.
There was once a very (in)famous Gulf Air CC who amongst other stories came out with the following:
CC: Would you like breakfast sir? Male SLF: (upon opening the tray to find 2 sausages and scrambled eggs), Are these sausages muslim? CC: Yes sir, that ones Mohammed and the other ones Ahmed.
Lady GCC national with whiffy baby, hands the baby to CC and says "Change the baby" Cc goes off down the cabin finds another baby, asks its parents if she can borrow it for a few minutes takes it to first lady and says "I've changed your baby here is the replacement"
Many, many years ago I had the opportunity to visit the tower in CPH in the evening. Wandering around while some members of our group were explained something which didn't interest me, a typewriter with a paper sheet in it caught my attention. Various incidents from a day's work were logged here, and the latest reported several items of female clothing having been found on the runway during an inspection. Apparently, two new cabin crew members had been late arriving at the aircraft, and had been told to quickly throw their bags in the luggage hold and get on board. Nobody told them were the luggage hold was, so the ladies deposited them in a main undercarriage bay, on top of a closed landing gear door. The plane took off, the undercarriage door was opened to accommodate gear retraction, and the suitcases departed formation with the aircraft....
A Swedish friend in Greece about to fly to Botswana. I told him that it is the same time zone as us. He said it can't possibly be it is 1,000s of kms south.
For the record he is a doctor of biology and immunology.
" My sister assures me that the 747 on which she flew to Hong Kong 'hovered' for 10 minutes before landing.
The same sister also assures me that in the US they drive on the left, the same as in the UK. When I challenged her I was told I didn't know what I was talking about and that she had driven 2000 miles on the left during a two week holiday. I commented that I was surprised she survived to tell the tale.
When we were viewing some old family 'cine' films, the same sister, when I commented that part of it was when Dad went to Lagos, said it was when he went to New York. As it was a Nigeria Airways 'plane I said he was going to Lagos. No, she said, why couldn't he have gone to New York on Nigeria Airways (from London). Then there was a shot in the street of obviously West African people on location, but she insisted it was New York - "there are black people in New York too, you know."
Finally, when we saw a bus that said : 'Lagos Muncipal Transport' on the side, she said : "You always have to be bloody right." "
Shiny "new" Tristar, operating DBX-KHI, entire 1st Class taken over by one of a smaller Emirate's Ruler and male entourage....females in the back, of course.
Party eventually get on board, most carrying hooded falcons from which they could not be parted (yes, it did make a mess, but they paid for the clean-up). Ruler sat alone, dignified, falcon on his arm, looking straight ahead, ignoring the commotion as they all settled.
One of our 700 new cabin staff was in charge of 1st Class, and was doing the rounds with the ceremonial coffee, as was done then in 1st Class (perhaps now as well). She hailed from deepest Essex, was the sort of blonde who puts "Bubbly" on her CV, and she had been trained to make a bright and friendly remark to her passengers as she poured for each one.
When she got to the Ruler, he did not offer much encouragement: he just sat there, staring ahead.
She was undaunted; she thought for a second, and then came out with......
Really, Really thick passenger comment....I was left a note with a cheque asking me to buy 2 x 1/4 champagne for friends of crew member travelling from LAX to London on BA.
I had very light load in Club and went to see the couple in the very back of the 747 to move them forward. I just managed to introduce myself to the very middle class British couple in their late 50's when the 'gentleman' launched into me re the quality of the seat, the service etc. etc. finishing by telling me that they had flown part of their journey on Virgin who were much, much better than BA.
I thanked them for their kind comments and feedback and informed them that 2 x 1/4 bottles of champagne were available from their friend.
My flabber had never been so ghasted at how someone could deny themselves a very, very comfortable journey on a pretty long flight by their inapropriate comments
Last edited by vctenderness; 29th Oct 2011 at 11:17.
Reason: typo
In a Tunisair from Tunis to Vienna, flying over a lighted city at night about 20 minutes before landing. Me: "Is this Graz?" (Graz = Austria's 2nd largest city) CC: "No, not grass, it's a city."
Reminds me of the story I heard about a couple who went on a motoring holiday in Europe. They wanted to visit Vienna on their travels. They came back and told their friends that they had a lovely time, but didn't manage to find Vienna with the limited maps etc that they had, and they never saw it signposted as they were driving through Austria.... but they did come across this beautiful city Wien, which almost made up for their disappointment !
Not a passenger comment but noteworthy. I got this in an email from a friend who works for a Traffic Department in SA.
Quote:
Howzit ...... Learned a new definition of STOOPID the other day. An officer stopped a guy in a Beemer on xxxxxx Drive, speed limit 60, he was doing 132, aparently weaving in and out of the early morning traffic too.
His excuse ..... "I was on my 'phone and wasn't really paying attention to my speed, officer!"
Im now squeesing the box....
