Thick passenger comments
Join Date: Feb 2001
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On a London to South Africa flight :
"Will we be able to see Table Mountain when we land?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because it's in Cape Town and we're flying to Johannesburg."
"I know that, but surely you can see it from there."
And again, it's early morning, dawn breaking off the port wing as we cruise down the west coast of Southern Africa .......
"Is that sunrise or sunset?"
"Sunrise, it's just before 6 am local time."
"Oh, I thought it was different when you cross the Equator."
And on an Olympic airways flight JNB - NBO- ATH, this beautiful dumb Afrikaans brunette next to me, as Captain Kostas announces our approach into Nairobi some 4 hours after departure from Jan Smuts .....
"Are we still in Serth Effrica?"
"No, this is Kenya ...."
"Yiss, but are we still in South Africa ....."
So I showed her the map of Africa and the southern part of Europe in the IF magazine ..... and she ways to me ..... "Ag, so is this the whole world ....?"
"No," I said, "Have you heard of America?"
"Yiss, but I think maybe it's too small to show on here."
Dumb she was, but I let her take advantage of me on our night stop in Athens!
"Will we be able to see Table Mountain when we land?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because it's in Cape Town and we're flying to Johannesburg."
"I know that, but surely you can see it from there."
And again, it's early morning, dawn breaking off the port wing as we cruise down the west coast of Southern Africa .......
"Is that sunrise or sunset?"
"Sunrise, it's just before 6 am local time."
"Oh, I thought it was different when you cross the Equator."
And on an Olympic airways flight JNB - NBO- ATH, this beautiful dumb Afrikaans brunette next to me, as Captain Kostas announces our approach into Nairobi some 4 hours after departure from Jan Smuts .....
"Are we still in Serth Effrica?"
"No, this is Kenya ...."
"Yiss, but are we still in South Africa ....."
So I showed her the map of Africa and the southern part of Europe in the IF magazine ..... and she ways to me ..... "Ag, so is this the whole world ....?"
"No," I said, "Have you heard of America?"
"Yiss, but I think maybe it's too small to show on here."
Dumb she was, but I let her take advantage of me on our night stop in Athens!
Life's too short for ironing
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Not sure if this has been posted before, but nice to know you are not alone....
Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes
Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes
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One of my Favourites is watching passengers (Virgin Flyers) **** themselves when the plane slows down around 5 seconds after takeoff :P.. I do have a wee giggle everytime.. 
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Flight Deck Visits
Do you know what all these dials and switches are for? No but we can look them up in a manual.
UK-USA When do we cross India? Oh in about 2 hours, I'll get the CS to tell you.
What happens if I press this button (finger towards it)? You get a broken nose.
RAF VC10 (rear facing seats). Passenger requested a flight deck visit and ended up in the rear loo.
UK-USA When do we cross India? Oh in about 2 hours, I'll get the CS to tell you.
What happens if I press this button (finger towards it)? You get a broken nose.
RAF VC10 (rear facing seats). Passenger requested a flight deck visit and ended up in the rear loo.
One of my Favourites is watching passengers (Virgin Flyers) **** themselves when the plane slows down around 5 seconds after takeoff :P.. I do have a wee giggle everytime..
Join Date: Feb 2001
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At Heathrow, planspotting gallery, father and son looking at BEA Tridents (I'm giving my age away).
Son : "Dad what's the difference between a Trident 1 and a Trident 2. "
Dad : "The Trident 1 has one engine ....."
Overheard at CPT :
"The London-Cape Town flight is always faster than the Cape Town-London because it's downhill."
"Yeah, and the petrol in England is better."
Son : "Dad what's the difference between a Trident 1 and a Trident 2. "
Dad : "The Trident 1 has one engine ....."
Overheard at CPT :
"The London-Cape Town flight is always faster than the Cape Town-London because it's downhill."
"Yeah, and the petrol in England is better."
Join Date: Jan 2009
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Not an airborn observation but we got a laugh out of it anyway.
During a power failure the other evening myself and our neighbour where discussing just how long it would last when the newly married young couple accross the street appeared. He goes into the garage as she waits on the doorstep. He calls out "there's been a power cut". She answers "so is all the lectric off as well" !!!.
During a power failure the other evening myself and our neighbour where discussing just how long it would last when the newly married young couple accross the street appeared. He goes into the garage as she waits on the doorstep. He calls out "there's been a power cut". She answers "so is all the lectric off as well" !!!.
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Noise abatement? Throttling back, not speed back of course.
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This is not a thick passenger comment, but a story I thought worth sharing.
Pax to crew: May I have a pen please?
Crew: Sorry Sir, I do not have one.
Pax: What's that in your pocket then?
Crew: That is my own pen, Sir, the company do not provide us with pens to give to customers.
Pax: So you DO have a pen then! Why did you say you didn't?
Crew: I'm sorry Sir but it is my own pen.
Pax: But if you HAVE a pen, you shouldn't say you don't have one. But if you do have one, can I have it?
Crew: Once again, sorry Sir, but it is my own pen.
This goes on for a while then:
Crew: Look, Sir, I am not WH Smith, this is my own pen I bought with my own money and I will not give it to you.
Pax: Well, I think you are rude, I'm going to write in a complaint about you!
Crew: No, you ain't, cos you haven't got a pen!
Pax to crew: May I have a pen please?
Crew: Sorry Sir, I do not have one.
Pax: What's that in your pocket then?
Crew: That is my own pen, Sir, the company do not provide us with pens to give to customers.
Pax: So you DO have a pen then! Why did you say you didn't?
Crew: I'm sorry Sir but it is my own pen.
Pax: But if you HAVE a pen, you shouldn't say you don't have one. But if you do have one, can I have it?
Crew: Once again, sorry Sir, but it is my own pen.
This goes on for a while then:
Crew: Look, Sir, I am not WH Smith, this is my own pen I bought with my own money and I will not give it to you.
Pax: Well, I think you are rude, I'm going to write in a complaint about you!
Crew: No, you ain't, cos you haven't got a pen!
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Hi all
Nothing to add - I am just another wannabe pilot & a frequent Ryanair passenger that wandered into your forum
.
Nonetheless I know exactly where you are coming from bout these numb-nuts & really enjoy hearing the experiences.
Keep them coming - I've got the popcorn out !
Nothing to add - I am just another wannabe pilot & a frequent Ryanair passenger that wandered into your forum
.Nonetheless I know exactly where you are coming from bout these numb-nuts & really enjoy hearing the experiences.
Keep them coming - I've got the popcorn out !
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A friend of mine was or is cabin crew at easyjet, and she told me how she was given a slip of paper by a passenger, on which she had written,
I'm a bit worried about the man two rows ahead of me, he looks very uncomfortable, and looks like he might be an arab!
To which she replied, what would you like me to do about him? The passenger replied, just keep an eye on him.
Having just been on a near 5 hour easy jet flight, I think we all probably shift about terrorist like in those seats lol!
I'm a bit worried about the man two rows ahead of me, he looks very uncomfortable, and looks like he might be an arab!
To which she replied, what would you like me to do about him? The passenger replied, just keep an eye on him.
Having just been on a near 5 hour easy jet flight, I think we all probably shift about terrorist like in those seats lol!
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Recently, my airstairs at the back were inop so we were only boarding using the front steps. My senior came down to warn me about the pax seated in the last row who was rude to her when he boarded in regards to not being able to board at the back.
When we landed, I made my PA to inform everyone to use the forward door only. At this point the pax came poked his head round the bulkhead and said, "you broken your door then? This is ridiculous, I was given this seat so I could get off straight away as I'm in a rush to get to a meeting! Now I'm going to be late!"
I looked down at my watch and said, "We've landed 20 mins early sir, I think you might be ok!"
His reply was an awkward cough, a "yes" and a mumbled thanks.
When we landed, I made my PA to inform everyone to use the forward door only. At this point the pax came poked his head round the bulkhead and said, "you broken your door then? This is ridiculous, I was given this seat so I could get off straight away as I'm in a rush to get to a meeting! Now I'm going to be late!"
I looked down at my watch and said, "We've landed 20 mins early sir, I think you might be ok!"
His reply was an awkward cough, a "yes" and a mumbled thanks.
Back in my cabin crew days, we had one particular crew member (The type you would not like to have on board in an emergency situation!) who was known for her thick comments!
We were half way to TFS when she came rushing to the front galley, to inform us that the passenger in 26A was dead.
We, in a frenzy, got together some oxygen, defib etc and rushed down the cabin, only to be looking around for this 'dead' person. The passenger in 26A was sat up talking to her friend.
It turned out, that on the prior drinks service, she didn't respond to the crew member in question, and after the incident she said 'well, she looked dead'.
For this reason, we decided to play a joke on her. Downroute, we said that it was a new policy in TFS for a crew member to be on fire guard.
We had her stood at the bottom of the L1 steps holding a BCF and smoke hood box through the whole boarding process!
We were half way to TFS when she came rushing to the front galley, to inform us that the passenger in 26A was dead.
We, in a frenzy, got together some oxygen, defib etc and rushed down the cabin, only to be looking around for this 'dead' person. The passenger in 26A was sat up talking to her friend.
It turned out, that on the prior drinks service, she didn't respond to the crew member in question, and after the incident she said 'well, she looked dead'.
For this reason, we decided to play a joke on her. Downroute, we said that it was a new policy in TFS for a crew member to be on fire guard.
We had her stood at the bottom of the L1 steps holding a BCF and smoke hood box through the whole boarding process!
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He lighten up,...I used to be a passenger ..once. Life and people are funny. I enjoy reading this thread. CC can have a laugh with us readily. Coming back from Atlanta some years ago, I thought I was so very lucky to be on a two seat bank. The young lady next to me from...the US of A gave forth that she was a model and dancer and was on her way to some lucrative terpsechorean venue in the night spots of France. Shortly after take off, my co passenger falls asleep and begins a rather noisy,sometimes loud eternal passage of wind! CC enquires why I keep leaning into the aisle to which my co passenger replies with another trumpet voluntary. Discarding the idea of a large cork, I asked the CC who was in fits of giggles for a thick blanket to cover the offending buttock. What a darling, she followed this up with a stiff whisky compliments of Delta
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tea or coffee
I fly most weeks as slf and I still can't get the hang of the tea or coffee question. Must be something to do with zoning out with the headphones on but I do have to ask for the question to be repeated sometimes. (sorry... at least I remove the headset when spoken to).
I did hear a cracking thick comment this week whilst on holiday, waiting to buy a top-up in the T-Mobile shop Santa Monica - customer - " I have a problem, i think my phone is broken. I was trying to dial 1-800-DENTIST and the first bit was ok but when I started pressing the letters, numbers were coming up on the screen. Can you look at it for me please? ". The sales girl was unhesitatingly polite in explaining. Priceless.
I did hear a cracking thick comment this week whilst on holiday, waiting to buy a top-up in the T-Mobile shop Santa Monica - customer - " I have a problem, i think my phone is broken. I was trying to dial 1-800-DENTIST and the first bit was ok but when I started pressing the letters, numbers were coming up on the screen. Can you look at it for me please? ". The sales girl was unhesitatingly polite in explaining. Priceless.
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During flight.
PAX to CC: ''Can you please shut off the speaker on my PSU, I don't want to hear the inflight announcements.''
During boarding.
PAX: ''Where is this flight going?''
CC: ''Probably to where you booked your ticket?''
PAX to CC: ''Can you please shut off the speaker on my PSU, I don't want to hear the inflight announcements.''
During boarding.
PAX: ''Where is this flight going?''
CC: ''Probably to where you booked your ticket?''
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I work on the ground in MAN. A few months ago, a flight from BFS to LBA diverted into MAN due to fog in LBA. The pax had to wait for a while before being allowed off the aircraft as it was an unscheduled domestic arrival. Whilst waiting, one of several rather aggressive pax asked what was going to happen after clearing immigration. I said there would be coaches laid on to take them to LBA. "Why the hell would I want to go to Leeds?" barked the man. "I don't know sir, you booked the flight" was my measured response.
Last edited by GlennTheBaker; 16th Nov 2011 at 17:47.
