THIS WEEK IN OZ 9 MARCH
In keeping with Roman tradition, preparation for the Ides of March continued which is quite something considering it is now the year two thousand and twelve BC. In Roman times the middle of the month was marked with a celebration to the mystical Anna Perenna a goodly woman who looked after the plebs (us punters) this appears to have been later replaced in terms of marking this important calendar event publicly, by a military parade to the God Mars. And so it was in Oz this week where life at the Big Top took up a military bent. The truth about an unsightly brawl amongst the good folk at the ADF and then the punch up with the adaptable Circus performer Little Stevie which followed became public knowledge. Little Stevie as we know is responsible for the bouncers and the boys and girls involved in feral animal control, of late they have been dispatched to various parts of the big paddock outside Oz in search of an elusive adjective. We were all left wondering whether a traditional military parade at Ides was now possible. Other lunar influences were noted at work in the utterances of various State politicians.
More importantly for avian devotees, however, a means has been found to unlock the hope chest of the Virgin and it is hoped that two new virgins will be seen to cater for local and overseas punters. There are no shortages of suitors, Arabian princes, European aristocrats and even the Kiwis are thinking about having another go. Astute observers will have noted that Italian cunning at the Virgin factory has trumped Irish blarney at the Roo. St Alan was casting about the runes in light of the Malaysian shrine now being in some form of crisis and Fukushima having buggered the Nippon option. Price of the magic stuff that makes the sweet A1 brew continues its inexorable upward rise on the back of the downslope of its availability from various desert oases. On television true to form, ‘Badgery’s Creek’ began its re-run season.
Infrastructure Supremo, Albo had nothing to say as usual about the fact that on account of all the wet stuff about half of Oz’s infrastructure is buggered as well. Those aeronautical already knew that it was pretty buggered before that and even more so now on account of going round and round in circles at various locations and having to wind up and down the slippery dip day after day. A lot of green, red and purple bunting was about. Bit of inlet heat on one ride might have helped from doing an aerial trapeze act sans netting and made the punters more comfortable. The morons at the pubs are to be allowed to keep their x-ray goggles to spot ferals and perve on everybody else a great advance in security claimed MC Albo. Elsewhere about the blue planet, same ole same ole.
Week ended with no more aerial acts being dispatched to the new economy, which is a relief for all involved. Lots of other folk are not faring so well. Surfer Wayne did a pastiche of Das Kapital for the richpunters and variously describes the new economy in terms that resembled a blamange. Various economists were seen blindfolded looking after the elephant out back and trying to work out which bit of the animal they were hanging onto. Wayne reckons all that salt water is good for you if you surf but ignores the terrible flatulence imbibing all that salt water causes. All the other performers including the Girrard are keeping away from Wayne on account of the aroma in his dressing room.
Any way that’s it for the week in Oz. Nobodies scrapped any aluminium which is a good thing and the show goes on. Yep and it is all bollocks. Til next week.